I would like to start this article by letting you know that it has not been an easy journey that brings me here. Opening up to my connection with spirit has been one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Not because spirit were not there for me to open up to - spirit have always been there, even when I so forcibly pushed them away - but rather because I did not know where this journey would take me or who it would make me become.
The Spirit of Life
Fear is the number one thing that stops us from becoming who we were born to be. Who we set out this journey called life to become. Who we infinitely know ourselves to be deep down inside. Fear is what stops us from taking those first steps into the unknown. That stops us from recognising and realising our true potential. That holds us in the shackles of our current limitations, even whilst every cell in our bodies scream to be set free.
Fear is the thing that keeps us awake at night, dreaming of a greater life but believing that it is out of our reach. It is the the thing that holds us captive, enslaved to a system that created our fears in the first place. It is the thing that tells us that it’s impossible to do anything other than dream the dream.
Fear is the thing that stops us from giving our hearts openly. That stops us from feeling love and being love. It is the thing that closes our hearts and closes our minds to all of the magic that is ours to take, if only we didn’t fear what that magic would bring.
Fear is the thing that takes away our shine. That stops us from singing our song and dancing our dance. It is the thing that stops us from being us, in all of our entirety, whilst we walk the walk that we are told we must follow.
Fear is the thing that sits behind our eyes as they slowly start to lose their lustre. That turns our smiles upside down and our hearts inside out. It is the thing that opens old wounds and closes open doors.
Fear is the thing that we wear on our sleeves as we look into another’s eyes and hear nothing but lies. That stops us from trusting the beat of our heart and the call of our soul. It is the thing that brings us to our knees as we fear change for the better over the comfort of that which we know, however undesirable that which we know may be.
And so, as I pushed and pulled, fought and struggled to hold on tightly to the life that I knew - a life without spirit, a life without trust - I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the shackles of ill health and despair. I found myself drowning in a sea of negativity and engulfed by fear. I found my happiness pulling further and further away, leaving in its wake a trail of heartache and ill health so great that even the strongest ego could no longer ignore. I found myself on my knees, begging for mercy, begging for the joy to be restored back into my life. Begging to hear the sound of my soul as it gently tried to guide me back into the light.
It is often in the darkest hour that we hear the true call of our soul instead of the ego’s plight. It is often in this hour that we are finally able to surrender to that call as in that moment, we finally realise that there is nothing else that we can do.
To surrender to our journey does not mean that the fear disappears, on the contrary, it means that we learn to walk hand in hand with it. It means that we learn to recognise our fears as markers in the road, as signal points to what we need to work on within ourselves to release us from our shackles. It means that we learn to respect fear as part of the journey, as part of the process of letting go, whilst no longer allowing the fear to hold us back. It means that we learn to trust ourselves in the wake of fear and that we learn to walk our paths despite the fear. It means that we let ourselves love, even when fear tells us that we shouldn’t. It means that we let ourselves be whole even when fear tells us that we are broken. It means that we take a leap of faith, even when fear tries to break our faith. It means that we see a better way, even when fear tries to hold us in the grips of old ways that no longer serve us. It means that we learn to be us, even when fear tells us that being us is not ok. It means that we set ourselves free, even when fear tries to hold on tightly.
And as we set ourselves free, so too do we set those fears free. Slowly, slowly, one by one, day by day, hour by hour until one day we look back and see just how far we have come. It is then that we can see the beauty of the life that we have created for ourselves by slowly, slowly, one step at time, letting go of all that would have held us captive.
As I continue to walk hand in hand in fear, not yet free myself of all that would hold me back, I walk into this next chapter of my life with the knowing that slowly, slowly, step by step, I too shall release all that keeps me captive.
With the launch of this book, I once again stare fear in the eye, asking it to gently walk with me, rather than engulfing me, as I await the criticism that may come. Truth is a brave word to speak and not all shall be ready to hear the words but still it must be spoken. It is a brave soul that shall speak the truth in the face of adversity - a brave soul, surely no not I? Surely I have not yet walked so many steps? Surely I have not yet come so far? Yet here I am, book in hand, ready to share all that I am with the world. Fear may rock me but it will never stop me.
It may be a brave soul who offers to share truth with the world but it is also a brave soul who is open to hear it. Who is open to act upon it. Who is open to walk hand in hand with their own fears as they discover those truths for themselves.
It is a brave soul who is willing to take the first steps into their own journey of self discovery. Who is willing to pull back the mask and stare their true selves in the face, even when they don’t necessarily like what they see. Who is willing to take a leap of faith, even when fear tries to stop them.
It is a brave soul who picks up this book, for once Pandora’s box is opened, it can not be closed. Much like the choice that is offered to Neo in the Matrix, red pill or blue, you must decide if you are ready for this journey, for once it starts it can not be stopped, but what is found on the other side of fear is love, in all of its glory and all of its wholeness. What is found on the other side of fear is joy in all of its uniqueness and all of its profoundness. What is found on the other side of fear is peace in all of its honesty and all of its power. What is found on the other side of fear is you!