We’ve all been embarrassed in a restaurant or hotel when one of the other customers or guests is rude or downright abusive towards the hard-working staff who are only trying to help. Ill-mannered customers certainly don’t improve the lives of our fellow humans who work in hospitality and who were already working under a lot of pressure even before the Covid pandemic threatened their livelihoods.
Geoffrey Paris
But are there inconsiderate things that we all do – albeit unwittingly – that impact on those who work in hotels, restaurants, pubs and cafés?
With more than four decades of working in hospitality, Geoffrey Paris (author of More Sauce Madam?) is the perfect chap to offer us some tips on how we could be a tad more considerate next time we go out for a meal or book into a hotel …
“The customer is always right.” True or false? It’s what we’re told and that’s the maxim we (myself and my colleagues) adopt when we embark on our careers in hospitality or other customer-facing roles. But is it true? No, we soon learn, it is definitely not!
You go about your daily life at work doing your utmost to ensure the customer is satisfied, both with the service they receive and the facilities they use, whether accommodation, food and beverage, or leisure. And when the customer is satisfied, so are you. That is what it’s all about and, generally, most customers are usually pretty happy with the service they receive.
However, some customers may think they can act in public like they might do at home, which might involve bad language, disrespect for others (including their own friends or family members), and slovenly behaviour. Some people don’t seem to realise, that there are other guests about, never mind staff, who might find such behaviour offensive.
Consider your fellow diners and other guests
One family group of eight unruly adults springs to mind. They booked a restaurant table in the evening and arrived drunk. They sat at their table but were swearing as if normal conversation. One or two got up to talk to the other end of the table and sat at other clean tables close by. They demanded constant attention, ordering bottles of wine and other drinks, and then the food. But I’d had enough. Other guests were looking at me in despair. I said to the head of the family, ‘That’s it! That’s enough. You’ll have to leave now. Other guests are complaining.’ He stood up and shouted, with eyes narrowed to a slit from excess alcohol, ‘Do you know who I am?’ I hadn’t the foggiest except that they were resident in the hotel. Off they sloped, without having eaten, and one of the women had the gall to say to me that my actions were despicable!
By all means, ask for a table in the window but accept gracefully if it is not possible
Around 80% of customers ask for a window table and expect to get one even when there might only be a few window tables in the establishment. Window tables are allocated to those who book them first – and no amount of claiming that your event is special can alter that fact.
To be fair, most people accept their actual table location but some kick off. One hotel resident I heard about was so incensed at not being able to get a specific window table, despite them all actually being occupied at the time, that after half an hour of remonstrating loudly in the restaurant, (with no consideration to others) he had a heart attack and promptly died!
Wait to be seated
Guests who walk into a restaurant and sit at a table without first asking the staff are automatically on the staff ‘hit list’. It always amazes me how uptight people can get on a winter evening with window tables, when they can’t see outside anyway!
Be courteous
Some guests forget that staff are working anti-social hours and/or weekends, so a bit of politeness from the customer is so much appreciated. Please and thank you mean a lot to hard-working staff.
Respect the staff’s time – and that of other customers
If you indicate that you are ready to order, please be ready. Don’t then have a discussion amongst yourselves about something else, thereby keeping the staff waiting (and delaying them from serving other guests).
Never click your fingers.
Thankfully this abhorrent behaviour is dying out. At one 4-star hotel I worked at, someone at the far end of a long restaurant clicked his fingers in the air, so as to summon a waiter. The restaurant manager, got down on his hands and knees, crawled along the floor to the person in question and barked ‘Woof woof!’ It was hilarious and the customer was, deservedly, highly embarrassed.
Treat staff as people
At another hotel where I worked, we had some nobility staying for the weekend. One of the gentlemen asked how we were each morning and whether we’d had a good day yesterday, and so on. He may have been nobility but he made us feel that we mattered and were valued. That was impressive and takes no effort. The ideal customer.
Some examples of irritating behaviour from customers and guests
· Unruly children or pets. Don’t let them run around, for health & safety reasons if nothing else. One bar Manager once told the parents of their misbehaving kids that they should be kept under a table like a dog!
· Leaving food tables messy, especially with lots of detritus on the floor or carpet.
· Dogs peeing inside – or, even worse, adults peeing in inappropriate places. (I’ve witnessed the latter at one restaurant where the customer urinated in his chair).
· Inappropriate clothing – which can embarrass other guests as well as the staff.
· Banging coins on the bar for service.
· Interrupting a conversation.
· Customers speaking down to staff as though they are pond life.
· Claiming ‘We’ve been waiting an hour!’ when you actually look at the order time on the ticket, its only 15 minutes or so!
Patience is a virtue – don’t risk being put on ‘the hit list’
Do try your best to be patient. Customers who rudely demand instant service and are impatient – even when staff are quite obviously busy trying to help other customers – risk getting put on ‘the hit list’.
In my case ‘the hit list’ is a mental note of awkward customers who have wound me up. If sufficiently wound up, I will retaliate without it being obvious. For instance at a dining table I might go up to the person in question and ask him a question just as he’s taken a mouthful – just to put him ill at ease. Or, a more extreme example: if topping up their glasses from their bottle of wine, knowing they will not buy another, I have known waiters who will top the glasses up so as to leave the offender last and without a full top up.
There are lots of little things hotel and restaurant staff can do to take their revenge on difficult customers. Most of them are just mildly irritating to the offending customer or guest but it makes the staff feel better. Despite the rumours, we really don’t spit in soup or do anything that is unhygienic. I’ve never known of anything like that in more than forty years in the business. Nonetheless, if you don’t want to end up on ‘the hit list’ of some long-suffering waiter, it probably is best to stay polite and courteous.
Please be patient
· Cooking and serving good food takes time.
· Do not shout at the bar for drinks before your ‘turn’. A good bar person will mentally note the order of service.
· Don’t demand things, ask for things.
What if you need to complain?
Sometime things do go wrong – even in the best establishments. And, of course, sometimes staff might be rude or neglect their duty. So sadly, there are times when complaints are fully justified. A good establishment will listen attentively to genuine complaints.
What matters is how the complaint is dealt with. It should be dealt with there and then. Good establishments will bend over backwards to get the issue sorted as soon as possible. Not only will they want to make your visit better but they also have their reputation to think about. They should make every effort to sort out complaints quickly, cheerfully and willingly.
Indeed, the best hotels and restaurants will welcome reasonable complaints. It helps them to improve their service and to understand the needs of their customers. I always say, if we do not know about it, we can’t correct it.
However, if you do need to complain, please make your complaint at the time. Don’t tell us at the end of a stay that the TV didn’t work. Don’t e-mail a day later to saying, “I didn’t want to say anything in front of my friends, but such and such a dish wasn’t very good.” What can we do then to help you? It’s too late by then (even if your feedback might benefit other customers or guests).
So next time you are dining out or staying in a hotel, spare a thought for the staff who are working hard to help you enjoy yourself. A smile, a thank you and a modicum of understanding will make them feel appreciated and valued. Being kind costs you nothing, may make their day – and will almost certainly make you feel happier too.
Rude customers, cleaver-wielding chefs, drunk porters and random naked guests – Geoffrey Paris has seen it all! Geoff’s book, More Sauce Madam? is his candid behind-the-scenes account of working in hotels, restaurants and pubs.
MORE SAUCE MADAM? THE ADVENTURES OF A HOTEL MANAGER, is published by Mereo Books (paperback, £12.99) and available through bookshops and internet booksellers.
Connect with Geoffrey Paris: Twitter: @ParisGeoff Facebook: Geoff Paris Websites: www.geoffparis.com www.geoffparispottery.com
