Write down a list of all the things you're good at, and all the things that make you unique. Think about a situation where you are confident - perhaps around family or friends - try and go into everything with that same confidence. For example I feel confident presenting at CBBC because I've done it for years and it's my comfort zone, but I'm nervous about new jobs. I try and channel the girl I am at CBBC when going into a new situation.
Katie Thistleton
Write down any compliments that others give you that make you feel good, and compliment yourself too - don't be modest! Say these things in your head when you are feeling unconfident.
Listen to upbeat music that makes you feel like you can take on the world. I think rock music and hip hop are best for this! Pop music from the likes of Beyoncé, Rihanna and Selena Gomez works for me too! I try and adopt the confidence they show on stage.
Fake it ‘til you make it - confidence is one of the areas in life where faking it does make it come true. I pretended to be confident for years and now I am. Beyoncé and Selena Gomez have both talked about how they don't always feel like the confident persona that comes across in their videos and when they perform - Beyoncé even has an alter ego called 'Sasha Fierce'. Which is another great confidence tip from Queen B herself.
Have an alter ego! You could give yourself a confident persona and bring her out during the most nerve-wracking situations!
Remember you are good enough - we are often very hard on ourselves and our confidence struggles because we don't think we match up to others or have the personality or looks or skills to be who we want to be in certain situations. Walk into the room telling yourself you ARE good enough to do whatever it is you're going to do. You have been asked to do that job for a reason, you've been invited to that party for a reason and you're good enough to be there. It's important to remind yourself that there's only one you - there's never been another one like you, and there never will be, which brings me onto my next point…
Don't compare yourself to other people - if we are totally unique, what's the point in this? We will never be exactly like another person, and trying to be is exhausting and achieves nothing. You are no better or worse than anyone else. It's much more enjoyable and likeable to be yourself and know that that's enough!
Remember that everyone feels the same. I used to be so aware of myself in social situations and come away worrying about how I was perceived - was I boring? Was I weird? Did people think I was ugly or stupid or not dressed properly? As I got older I realised that most people are busy thinking about themselves and worrying about how they are perceived. People often suggest imagining everyone in the room is naked to feel more confident. I suggest imagining everyone is also nervous and lacks confidence - because that's probably true!
Admit you're not feeling confident. If say, you're having to stand up and do a presentation, admit you're feeling nervous, it gets the audience on side and it will be a weight off your shoulders.
Don't put yourself in situations which attack your confidence. Don't hang around with friends who point out your flaws or make you feel inferior to them. Stay away from situations that can be avoided that make you uncomfortable - life is too short to do things we don't want to and don't have to do! Everything in life is a choice.
