When it comes to a woman’s day-to-day experience at work, one key player has the most significant impact: her boss. Managers need to play an active role in creating working environments that support women. Two thirds of all managers are men, so gentlemen, listen up! This advice is not just for women; it applies to you, too. Here are my seven tips for being a thoughtful, authentic manager to the women on your team:
The Good Boss
#1: Get her name right. Spell it correctly, pronounce it correctly, and don’t make a nickname out of it. If she earned a PhD, call her Doctor. Remember her new name if she changes it after marriage (and she doesn’t need your opinion on whether or not she should change it). Oh, and don’t call her sweetheart.
#2: Be relatable. You don’t have to be a woman to relate to a woman. You just have to be an authentic human, who takes interest in others. Everyone has things in their life that they care about, and talking about these things helps to find common points of connection.
#3: Don’t downgrade her ambition after marriage or children. Be careful not to make your own assumptions about how hard she wants to work, how much she cares about or needs money, and whether or not she will prioritize family over work. Assume that she wants opportunities, until and unless she tells you otherwise.
#4: Make her feel essential at work after having children. Returning from maternity leave is hard; at exactly the moment when she is feeling most needed at home, she returns to a workplace that figured out how to get by without her for a few months. Be thoughtful about quickly re-engaging her in substantive work so she feels important, not unnecessary.
#5: Be mindful of the time and schedule constraints that women are balancing. Working moms typically have little margin for error. Respect the start and the end of the day. Wherever possible, allow for flexibility. Unless you have reason for concern, trust that the work is getting done even if it’s happening out of your view.
#6: Eliminate negotiation pitfalls. People react more negatively when women negotiate vs men. You stack the odds meaningfully against women when you set up dynamics on your teams that require people to aggressively self-advocate. Instead, proactively offer opportunities to those who deserve them.
#7: Be as tough on her as you are on everyone else. Equality is better than chivalry. Being tough on a woman and pushing her to be better at her job can be a good thing and shows that you believe she’s worth the effort.
If every manager genuinely engages in supporting women by following these seven tips, it will add up to a meaningfully better workplace environment for women.
Kate Eberle Walker is the author of The Good Boss: 9 Ways Every Manager Can Support Women at Work, and CEO of PresenceLearning, which provides teletherapy services for special education programs in K-12 schools.