Most people don’t realise that self-esteem is knocked back more by everyday events than by the big setbacks in life. For example, we can get used to being herded like cattle into trains, being ignored by shop attendants chatting to their friends or being left hanging on the end of the phone for 15 minutes. This kind of disrespect is so common andso impersonal that – sadly – it is rarely worth the hassle to “fight back”. But it takes its toll, nevertheless. You can negate the emotional damage it causes, however, by counteracting it with equally regular mini-boosts which will instantly lift your self-esteem. Here are some examples:
How to Feel Good In Difficult Times
SHARE GOOD NEWS HOWEVER SMALL
Ring a good friend and tell them about a mini-achievement, such as clearing your pending file, a spring clean, revamping your CV or resisting a temptation.
GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT EACH DAY
This could be a favourite food or drink, a walk in a garden, a ten-minute break to read or listen to music. Remember to vary the experiences though, otherwise they will begin to feel too routine.
LOG YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS
Writing down on paper or on the computer what you have achieved each day or week will fix these achievements more firmly in your brain; include both personal and work related ones.
SPRUCE UP YOUR APPEARANCE EVEN WHEN YOU ARE SOLO
Make those glances in the mirror or reflections in shop windows as uplifting as they can be.
KEEP PHOTOS OF PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU VISIBLE
Swap the positions of these from time to time so you notice them more.
GIVE COMPLIMENTS MORE FREELY
Find reasons to compliment others, but make sure they are genuine and not too general. The smile of the receiver will boost you too.
MAKE A SAVING
Say “No” to buying something you don’t really need or wasting time, money and energy on doing something you don’t need to do.
SHARE YOUR EMPATHY NON-VERBALLY
Just giving a sympathetic smile or raised eyebrows and a shake of the head to someone who looks sad or who has been treated disrespectfully can lift both your spirits and theirs. A few words may help too, but often they are not necessary and may not be appropriate.
Extract taken from How to Feel Good In Difficult Times: Simple Strategies to Help You Survive & Thrive by Gael Lindenfield, published by Trigger, £9.99