Working mums are often consumed with the pervasive underlying concern of whether they are making the right choices or not. Much of the stress is because there aren’t enough hours in the day to fully dedicate to either work or family. Many women who work outside the home feel trapped in an impossible catch-22.
Her Way To The Top
Here are few tips for making the most as a working mom…
Learn To Let Go
“The best way to make the most as a working mom is to break the cycle of perfectionism If what we are doing for our children doesn’t meet our own ridiculously high standards, we feel dissatisfied. But know that for your children perfectionism is an unknown dimension. Even if you are doing a good enough job, then typically that’s all that matters to your kids, so stop being so harsh on yourself. The emotional connection and influence you have over your child is incomparable. Your little cheeky monsters will always hold you close to their heart and consider you the most important person in their life well into adulthood.
Use Empowering Language
When you become a working parent, life becomes more complex and you have less time to do it all. You have to get rid of your own limiting beliefs while dealing with other people’s reactions. The power of language, and specifically the language of choice, is important in determining how you feel and how others perceive you. Replace the word should with words ‘like’, ‘prefer’, ‘want’
As parents, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to deliver what is best for our children to support their development but change in perspective allows you to feel less pressure and guilt as a parent and gives you more freedom to choose whatever is best for your family.
Don’t Give In To Guilt
When you combine motherhood with a career there will always be trade-offs, sacrifices and compromises. It is crucial for your peace of mind to reconcile those trade-offs and be crystal clear about your choices to stave off future guilt. Is it money, satisfaction, sanity? Whatever it is, know your reasons and focus on the benefits of the choices you make. No choice is 100% perfect, but some choices yield better benefits and that deserves your focus. Ultimately, it’s all about how the choice impacts you and your family.
Recognise That Quality Is More Important Than Quantity
We can be with our kids 24/7 and yet never be fully present in the moment with them. When we are home, our thoughts are still absorbed with solving challenges at the office. And we are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by. If you cannot enjoy the journey, then why spend so much time pursuing it? Learn to relish and live in that moment which may never come again. Quality over quantity is most important. For me, it helps when my mobile phone is out of sight or I plan special trips to the restaurant, market or park. Carving out exclusive activities every day which your children can help in developing special bonds with them. Also, schedule breaks from time to time. Never hesitate to press the pause button and breathe. Draw a line and know what’s acceptable to forego and what’s not. Give yourself permission to slow down and take a break from the lengthy to do list.
Hira Ali is an author, writer, speaker and executive coach focused on women’s & ethnic leadership development, closing the gender gap and breaking the glass ceiling. She is the Founder of Advancing Your Potential & International Women Empowerment Events and Co-Founder of Career Excel and The Grey Area. Contact her on Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook or email You can buy her book here: Her Way To The Top: A Guide to Smashing the Glass Ceiling.