My characters and storylines frequently deal with abuse and controlling behaviours and actions. Certainly, my recent psychological thriller, One Fatal Night, deals with painful past events and how they affect my characters, particularly the main character, Astrid, whose whole life has been built on a lie. Abusive behaviour affect many people, no matter how self confident and secure. Sometimes, what seems like a good match, sadly, turns out to be the opposite. Falling in love, make people vulnerable and eager to overlook flaws in a seemingly perfect partner. It’s human to want to believe and think the best of someone we love.
One Fatal Night
Here comes my top ten red flags of a manipulative partner/relationship.
Think carefully whether this applies to your partner and remember, some people don’t deserve you and your love for them.
Not everyone is capable of changing and be the best version of themselves.
* They blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life
* Your opinions and feelings don’t matter to them, only theirs
* They use emotional blackmail to get what they want and threaten to hurt themselves and even commit suicide if you leave them
* They control your life; physical appearance, work related matters, who you socialise with, family and friends and want you all to themselves
* They purport to protect and care about you when in reality isolating you from everyone and focusing on them, their needs and expectations
* They refuse to take responsibility and pretend to forget past arguments saying You’re the problem causing conflicts in the first instance
* They make you feel guilty for their mistakes, inability to keep a job, friends and much more
* They make you doubt yourself and everything you believe in and engage with
* They do everything in their power to undermine you, question everything you say and everyone you love and care for finding faults with you and them even resorting to mental and physical abuse. If the latter applies to you, LEAVE them and the relationship
* They control your finances, dictating you don’t have a separate account and share everything with them
DON’T permit someone to take away your independence, personal, financial, social and professional. Stand up for who you are, believe in yourself and leave an abusive partner. Healthy relationships are based on Respect, good communication, friendship, kindness and mutual aspirations.
I wish you every success in finding the Right partner.
With much love;
Hélene
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