Get The Guy
What can you tell us about your new book Get The Guy?
So many books are designed to help you with your love life spend their time telling you what you can't do. What I love about GetTheGuy is it spends the majority of its time telling you what you can do. It's divided into the three stages women naturally have to go through in their love lives: Finding the man they want, attracting him, and then keeping him. Within each of these three major sections are techniques and philosophies developed from coaching 50,000 women worldwide.
Why do a lot of single women have problems finding the perfect man?
Firstly, there is no perfect man. Looking for that it worse than starting the race badly, it means you're in the wrong race. What women should be searching for is their ideal man - i.e. the one whose values, beliefs and outlook on life synergise with their own.
Many women are waiting to bump into this guy, but as I say in the book "Most people are so busy focusing on meeting The One that they wind up not meeting anyone". Women aren't putting themselves in the path of enough men, and very often when they do, they are still left wondering how to get him attracted.
What are the eight words that will build attraction and chemistry with you and any man?
"I could really use your help with something". These words appeal to a man’s primal instincts - provide and protect. When he hears them he feels manly, and he associates that great feeling with you.
What is one way you can get a guy to notice you?
One of the most powerful ways is through your eyes. Not just eye contact - many people just look right through someone when making eye contact - but really having a slightly seductive/playful look in your eye when yours meet his for a second. Whether a guy is attracted often has much more to do with 'the look' than a woman's looks. Other ways are to touch him as you move past him - he'll always register touch since most of us live in a society where it's not the social norm to be that comfortable with someone without knowing them. If you really want to earn your stripes, tell him you like something he's wearing.
Where are the worst places to meet men?
Clubs, your living room, all-women gym classes (or any female oriented activity), your living room, the table your friends are huddled around in the bar, your living room.
What is the most common pitfall on a date?
Trying to impress him instead of letting him try to impress you. Women often try too hard to say what they think a man wants to hear, to like what he likes, to laugh at every joke, and get so nervous talking about themselves that nothing interesting comes out. Put the focus on him impressing you and you'll relax into a much more casual place.
What is one of the most common myths that men want from a woman?
"Men want someone who's low maintenance and makes his life easy". The truth is men like women who are challenging, and set them standards to live up too. Caveat: This doesn't mean he wants someone to neurotically pick at everything all the time. He wants that unique combination of someone who keeps him on his toes who also enjoys being lead and doesn't feel the need to control EVERYTHING.
Why do women often feel out of control when they date?
They are playing the waiting game at every stage. They are waiting for the guy they like to approach them. IF he ever does, they wait for him to ask them on a date. After the date they wait for him to call or text. They then wait for him to arrange another date. When they finally start dating she waits for him to decide he wants a relationship, and later she waits for him to ask her to marry him. It's one big long process of waiting with no guarantees. Terrifying. The answer I talk about in the book is how to decide on your standard for men at every stage, and educate them on how to live up to it. If he doesn't...say goodbye.
Tell us about your background in coaching.
Ironically I started by coaching men in their love lives. After two years I'd coached 10,000 of them, and their new girlfriends started asking why I wasn’t doing this for women. After mounting pressure I finally decided to take everything I'd learnt from coaching men, and give these secrets to women. These women started to get incredible results - amazing partners, different treatment from the men in their lives...they finally felt they were in control of their situation. And so GetTheGuy was born, and in the last 5 years my organisation of coaches, live seminars and online training programmes have reached over 5 million women.
What is the best feedback you have had from a woman who has taken your advice?
"I don’t even care if I meet my guy today, tomorrow or in five years, because I feel completely in control and happy. I already feel complete." Beautiful.
What is next for you?
I'm touring America with a 'GetTheGuy Live' tour to celebrate the book, alongside my new show on NBC "Ready For Love" which I'm really excited about. After that we'll be releasing a programme that women (and men) can use in their personal and professional lives to rapidly accelerate their progress.
Get the Guy by Matthew Hussey is out now published by Bantam Press, £12.99.
Female First Lucy Walton
Tagged in matthew hussey