I used to be a night person, the last one to want to leave a party. Later, as a new parent, I’d sit up writing way after everyone else had gone to bed. Then we adopted a collie cross called Jack, and I assumed that, if he wasn’t let out into the garden by 7 a.m., the house would be flooded with wee. So I started seeing a part of the day that I’d only heard about previously.
The Mum Who'd Had Enough
By the time it became apparent that Jack didn’t need attending to at such an hour, I’d become used to my early starts. I’d even started to enjoy the peace and mental space they gave me. Now I’m definitely a morning person.
There have been other big changes too, in that we moved from our small town in the South Lanarkshire countryside to a Glasgow flat. Our twin sons, now 21, left home for uni, and now our daughter, 18, has just finished school and is gearing up for university too. Our busy household of five (plus dog) is about to dwindle to just me, my husband Jimmy, and Jack.
This means a far reduced domestic workload, which should also mean that I can trot out far more books these days. But it doesn’t quite work out that way. In a particular productive year I can manage to write two, but that really is pushing it. In fact, recently I’ve changed my whole way of writing books.
I used to fixate on daily word targets, aiming to write at least 2,000 words a day. My diary was covered in scrawled numbers, which I’d constantly cross out and amend as I rarely hit that magical quota and would then have to readjust everything. I’d stare at my diary with all these crossings-out, fuelled by panic to the point at which I was barely able to write anything at all. This sounds bonkers, I know - and somehow, on around a gallon of coffee per day, the books would get written. But something had to change.
A few months ago a Glasgow friend, Elise - who’s a lecturer at the School of Art - started hosting ‘creativity coaching’ sessions at her home, and invited me along. Once upon a time I’d have been a bit sceptical, but I’m open to anything that’ll help the creative process these days. And it sounded less toxic than gin! So I went along and met a lovely bunch of interesting, inspiring women - an artist who paints, another who works with stained glass, a talented crafter and a pianist. During each session, we explore topics such as procrastination or, significantly for me, ‘letting go’. It hit me that I should ‘let go’ of my crazy daily writing targets once and for all.
Since then, I’ve fallen back in love with writing books. I start at about eight, and just write and write until my eyes are bleary and my brain is stuck. Then I walk Jack, or do something practical like housework or make calls and answer emails. I might have a magazine feature to write or a drawing to do. I’ve always loved sketching and have been making pictures of friends’ houses - and dogs! - in return for charity donations. As I’m training for the Edinburgh Marathon, I try to get out for a run around three times a week too.
By four p.m. I’ve pretty much run out of steam at the laptop. Before I had kids I could barely boil an egg, but I learnt to love cooking and it’s the perfect way to unwind after wrestling with plot ideas all day. My daughter is vegan so I’ve had to stretch myself to find recipes that don’t turn out brown!
As I’ve grown older - I’m 53 - I’ve become much better at relaxing during the evenings without lurching for the wine at 7 pm, although I still do that sometimes! But I do love the cinema. Being able to see anything from the latest biggie to some quirky indie film has been one of the greatest aspects of moving back to a city after fifteen years of rural life. I spent my twenties and early thirties in London and never quite managed to shrug off my love of city life.
My night-owl tendencies have definitely waned though, and now the perfect round-off for me is a soak in the bath - with or without wine - then bed with a book. If I’m in the thick of writing a book, I find it hard to immerse myself in someone else’s novel. So it’s more likely to be a memoir - I’m reading Carly Simon’s at the moment (it’s called Boys in the Trees) which is beautifully written. I am also a big fan of Nina Stibbe, David Nicholls and Caitlin Moran. The last novel I read was the brilliant Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. Also - embarrassingly - I love to pore over cookbooks in bed.
The younger me would have scoffed in derision. But at this stage in my life, curling up with Nigel Slater is a whole lot more pleasurable than tottering home at 3.30 am, minus a shoe.
Fiona’s new novel, The Mum Who’d Had Enough, is published by Avon