7 Tips for moving forward when life gives you lemons

6 July 2018

Publisher Marcia M. Spence shares the things that have helped her move forward when she’s faced challenges.

Marcia M Spence

Marcia has Trigeminal Neuralgia (a severe facial pain illness) and has dealt with childhood sexual abuse, racism, witnessing domestic abuse and complex personal relationships. Marcia says: ‘I’ve come to realise, that I can either make myself miserable forever or I can think differently about a situation and move forward.’

Take some time out and get to know who you truly are. Invest in yourself, rather than using up all your energy supporting others. Find out what makes you joyful, what energises you, what makes you feel satisfied. Then start to do more of these positive things.

Know your strengths and your needs. Rediscover your greatness by recalling your achievements, gifts and talents. Stay focussed on these rather than any mistakes you’ve made.

Discover your purpose in life. Think about your vision and the life that you want to create. Do you want to do the same job, live in your current location, are you happy with your social life? Or do you want to make some changes?

‘I started my publishing business from my sick bed……I had left my job, I had depression, I had multiple crisis in my life. I became quite disabled physically and psychologically. Sometimes it was difficult to talk so I wrote about my life. I found this therapeutic and cathartic. This became my book ‘Geraldine’s Pearl,’ which I went on to publish. It was very successful, and people started to ask me to help them with their books. So, I thought, I know how to do this, let me try and really that was my attitude, let me try. I published for one person, and my business and a whole new lifestyle grew from there.

Set goals, perhaps even break these into mini goals for yourself. Then applaud and really, really celebrate your successes.

Be authentic. Speak your truth and don’t be afraid of being vulnerable. Don’t pretend that things are perfect, as that means hiding a valuable aspect of your reality. Say no to things which don’t bring you pleasure.

Ask and accept help from friends. Don’t be stubborn, you can achieve more with others and do things more quickly. Friends are often glad to help.

Take care on social media. Who you are chatting with? Do their core values fit with yours? Can you trust them? Do you feel better after engaging with them or are they doom merchants? Surround yourself with those who lift you up.

Find a trusted professional and undertake talking therapy; we all need to talk things through in a safe space. Journal, expressing your feelings rather than holding them in.

You can rebuild from any point, just take one step at a time. Life can be whatever you want it to be. It is about the way you use your mind, the way you challenge your thinking. This is where you are now, but you don’t have to stay in these circumstances. Find some peace and comfort within, no matter what the outer world is throwing at you.