Stitch Your Own Silver Linings is what I call a ‘self- flourishing’ book. It introduces the Conroy Concept of Happiness and wellbeing, which is a set of ideas describing how to find true, long lasting and sustainable happiness and wellbeing. The book is unlike any other because in order to demonstrate the origins and effectiveness of the Conroy concept I weave the unique and inspiring stories of the ‘Conroy women’ through the book.
Why are you so passionate about helping other people with their struggles?
Life is short and I believe it should be enjoyed and not endured. A certain amount of adversity in life is inevitable and, dare I say it, even desirable. It really is true that it isn’t what happens but how you choose to deal with it that is important. I want to help people to discover the lessons beneath the struggles, and to go on to use those lessons to create richer and more satisfying lives.
Why do you think people feel that they are not in control of their own happiness and wellbeing?
Our society teaches us to look in the wrong places to find happiness – we think success will bring happiness and we see success almost exclusively in material terms. Or, we expect other people to deliver happiness to us. When this doesn’t happen we think we must be inadequate or incapable in some way which can lead to depression and hopelessness.
What are the 7 key themes in the book?
There are seven key attitudes/areas of life that I believe need to be developed and nurtured in order to be happy. They are relationships, being outcome and goal oriented, the ability to live in the present moment, contribution to the greater good, exercise and health, Pleasure and fun, and new knowledge and learning. These are underpinned by other ideas but they are the key themes of the book.
Why do you think people can be confused by what happiness is?
I think we are taught to look in the wrong places. The word itself, Happiness seems to have taken on an almost frivolous ring to it – something not to be taken seriously. Often people mistake pleasure for happiness – pleasure is important but it is fleeting. When I talk about happiness I mean a deeper long lasting satisfaction with life that builds resilience ready to be better able to deal with those struggles we talked about.
Why is forgiveness such an important part of being happy?
Un-forgiveness often carries with it bitterness, resentment and anger. Such strong negative emotions not only get in the way of happiness but, if allowed fester, causes all manner of physiological problems.
The book was inspired by your own experiences – can you tell us a bit more about this?
My mother, sister and daughter were all diagnosed with cancer. It was going through that experience and witnessing them brave their individual situations with such grace and humour that taught me to look in the right place for happiness and want to share that with others.
How did you feel when you found out your daughter was diagnosed with cancer – at such a young age?
As vulnerable and shockingly terrified as Janet Leigh in Alfred Hitchcock’s famous shower scene in the film Pscyho. I am not being trite here. If you can imagine for a second, the suddenness and savagery of that moment when Leigh’s character turns – that’s it! That’s the closest I can come to describing how it feels. And it stays with you – total and absolute fear and you can neither run nor fight. The threat of losing a child is completely debilitating and I shake at the thought of it even now.
What is next for you?
The response to the book so far has been phenomenal. I thought it might seem strange, to some, for me to talk about happiness and adversity or, in my case, cancer in the same breath. But people ‘get it’. People understand that I am not talking about positive thinking or Pollyanna happiness. Instead, I am talking about how to build resilience and a deeper, sustainable satisfaction with life. I want to reach a wider audience with that message through public speaking. I also want to be more hands-on with helping people which I intend to do through the development of online courses and workshops.
www.ChristineLConroy.com
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