I’ve never been good at book dedications. I’m not sure what it is about them, but I find them incredibly intimidating. How do you thank hundreds, sometimes thousands of people in a few sentences? I can say with all honesty that there’s rarely a book that is written for a single person, and in my opinion, a dedication is a thank you to the person or persons who inspired you to write that particular book. I have a number of people that I hold dear that I usually dedicate books to, but I do it more to acknowledge how much they mean to me personally. I could dedicate every single book to my girls, Delaney and Riley, but they aren’t the ones who inspired me to write the book in the first place.
Fighter
So, the big question is, what does inspire me? What drives me to want to sit in a chair for hours and weeks to write a story that may or may not appeal to the various people who read it? Me. It might sound incredibly selfish, but the only one who can inspire me to pour my heart onto a keyboard is myself. I’ve overcome quite a lot in my lifetime to get to where I am now. I’ve learned the hard way that the only person who can make me happy is myself and the only one who can make positive changes in my life is…me.
As was the case in Fighter, I often write stories about characters who most would find unlovable. Do you ever wonder why I write the characters that I do? Yep, you guessed it. I seem to have a theme going here. I’ve always had a low opinion of myself. When I was younger, I believed I would find myself once I got older. I believed I would fall in love with a wonderful man and together we would conquer the world. Sadly, I’ve learned that my love isn’t enough for the men I give my heart to. I’m damaged. I admit it. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, beaten and told that I’m unlovable. So, what comes next? Well, I started writing.
I put all the love and hurt into stories of happily-ever-after. I do this because I’m willing to share my own pain with all of you. You may not realize it when you’re reading one of my stories, but I can’t think of a single book I’ve written that didn’t have my own heartache somewhere between the covers. I am the only person who can write my words and put in a story the pain that I’ve felt over the years. Other authors write their own pain, their own happiness. It’s what we do. We share pieces of ourselves with every written word. In Fighter, I’m sharing the pain I felt at the death of my father, Asa. I considered giving Tony Brick my father’s name, but, in the end, I couldn’t give that part of myself to the story. My sister reads my books, so it wouldn’t be fair to her either.
Selfish or not, my pain inspired me to write this story because even if it’s only for the time it took to write Fighter, I had my father back, and I was given the chance to say a proper goodbye.