10 Ways To Get The Life You Deserve

7 June 2018

Quit searching for your bikini figure. If you are not willing to do heavy sports regularly and restrict eating to a level of a toddler to get a Bikini figure, call it a day. And then, there is absolutely no sense feeling guilty about having a doughnut. Or two.

Alexandra Reinwarth

Quit the classic trap of ‘When ... then’ in self-improvement: if I only made enough of an effort, I would be exactly like I wanted to be. I would be thinner, earn more money, have a better sex life, be more gregarious … Like the very hungry caterpillar, at some point I will turn into a beautiful butterfly, but until then, I’ll simply muddle through. But look around. We are all caterpillars. We will not turn into butterflies. Muddling through is real life.

Quit activities you do just to please others: ‘I really love you, but I’d rather (iron/sleep/flagellate myself) than (collect toads/go to poetry slam/babysit your dog). I feel bad about it, but I can’t stand (toads/going to poetry slams/sitting dogs).’ Caring for your friends doesn’t mean you have to care about toads, poetry slams or their dog.

Quit saying Yes to every favour they ask you at work. You can do it in a funny, kind way. So when asked, smile and say: ‘I’d rather hack off my right arm,’ Then have a laugh together and the request is forgotten.

No kindergarten WhatsApp groups. Seriously.

If you have a baby: don’t expect your childless friends to understand you when you have to disappear from all events and dinner parties: Don’t give up on us – we will be back, when the conditions are right. Love you!

Stop guessing what your partner means. Although spookily enough, men often say exactly what they mean.

Try to understand your partner. Sometimes you don’t and that’s even harder when it’s about faults that concern you. But if you can’t change it, you can accept that he is not perfect, as you are probably not perfect either.

Loving oneself: ‘You can only really love someone else if you love yourself’ (and therefore you have to improve yourself to have a happy partnership…). This is bullshit. If it were really true, a large part of mankind would be unable to love, because most people have problems with loving themselves and with their self-esteem. If all you can say about yourself is that you are somehow OK, at least not worse than others, then that is good enough. And if you can say that about your lover, then nothing – NOTHING – can prevent you from being very happy.

Partner’s Faults

You can’t have everything. Maybe stick with an old wisdom:

1. Attractive 

2. Funny

 3. Emotionally stable

Choose two of them. 

In general: just try to stop doing what you don’t want to do, with people you don’t like to get things you don’t need. Why? Because whenever we do what we need and want to do, we feel happy and free. That’s it.