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After the christening ceremony for her sister's baby who gripped her thumb with tiny fingers, Andrea felt powerful sensations stirring.
She registered at a dating site. A man called Ralph messaged her. A two-way stream of emails followed. Then the two met and romance flourished.
Ralph was ten years older and opinionated. Andrea struggled with this, but discovered it's easy to please the man you love - if you never say 'no.'
Baby Sean came along, a peevish child with imploring blue eyes, leaving Andrea with less time and energy for Ralph.
"Surely you can manage your time better than this?" growled Ralph. "When did we last make love? You are driving me into the arms of other women!"
Was he speaking present tense or future? Andrea soon found out when her mother spotted him coming out of the massage parlour.
"It's because you started saying 'no' to him, the rotter," Mother stated, shaking her head. "Men are all the same."
"That's easy for you to say," replied Andrea. "I just need to try harder."
"No amount of love and forgiveness," Mother declared, her eyes fiery "is ever enough to stop the abuse of an insecure man."
Kenneth came along in the most natural way. He was a teacher at Sean's primary school and hearing Ralph had escaped to Australia leaving Andrea to battle on as a solo mother, took Sean under his wing. He coached Sean in the finer points of rugby and sometimes included him with the bigger boys.
"He's got great potential," Kenneth said one day, coming off the field with a smile that emboldened Andrea. "Not afraid to tackle. He's got courage, that wee man. Fighting spirit."
He put his arm around Andrea's shoulder as they walked to the coffee canteen. Everything went from there and Kenneth moved in.
He bought her flowers, massaged her shoulders and cuddled her in bed.
Andrea began to blossom anew. She bought smart clothes with money that Mother had lent her. Her eyes gained an assertive glint.
Ralph had left without a word of farewell to Sean, who began to play up and clash with Kenneth. Sean's 'fighting spirit' was showing in other ways.
"He's a little smart-arse," complained Kenneth to Andrea.
"He's a child in a messed-up adult world."
"He hates me."
"He's a kid. You're a grown-up, a teacher. Act like one!"
"Get knotted."
"I won't be spoken to like that."
"Well go then!"
Andrea resumed internet dating and had a string of relationships. Each began as an exciting adventure, and then became complicated and unbearable.
Several times, Andrea swore she was finished with males, but whenever she met an interesting new man, she was eager to try again, though she learned to relate with an elusive detachment, and never for long.
Some were good-natured guys, who enjoyed her without expectation, said "See ya" and moved on to their next conquest. Others clung to her, then pleaded and threatened to kill themselves when she left them. A few were academics with the emotional acumen of earthworms. Two or three were dashing men with moustaches who aroused her passion, but when she grew bored with them, their good looks excited her hate and their aftershave began to smell like vinegar.
When Roger came along, she was happy to discover that her relationship with him was different, uncomplicated by romantic or sexual stirrings, safe and simple. A clean-shaven and neatly dressed social worker, Roger was content with friendship.
"Friends," he said, smiling gently, when she opened up to him, "are better than lovers, because they last longer."
The idea of greater intimacy with Roger flashed through her mind as a natural thought from time to time, but in a way that was rather remote. Further down the track, perhaps, this might evolve but for now she was happy with friendship.
Andrea had heard that Sean was back from Australia and asked Roger for advice over coffee. Should she track him down and try to organize some father-son contact, for Sean's sake?
"Leave it to me," answered Roger. "I've got contacts. Might take me a while, but I'll track Ralph down, and I'll check him out first."
"Thanks!" she replied, breathing a sigh of relief.
Andrea had never been to Roger's flat, but knew where he lived. Driving past one evening a fortnight later, she called in.
Nobody answered her knock. Hearing loud music, she hollered out and entered. A figure in front of a full length mirror spun around. It was Roger, wearing blue eye-lashes and red lipstick. Another figure, dressed in a pink chemise, rose from a chaise longue. It was Ralph.
Andrea ran to her car, raced to Mother's flat, and fell into her open arms.
Tagged in Bruce Costello