Get Published on Female First
I wake up at five. I get a coffee and skip breakfast. Breakfast takes too long and my coffee is always cold by the time I get round to drinking it. I have so much to do. I did the packing last night so that it was all ready for us today. It was always a blur though and today was no exception. We are going for gold. I can’t lose. This was what I have worked for.
Destiny-Ray should be up. It’s five thirty and her hair needs to be done. I hear Stephanie, our coach, come through the front door and shout up to me. I turn to her.
“Morning Stephanie! Big day! I’m just gunna wake her up” I shout
down, she would go and get her own coffee.
Coaches were really important. I spent thousands of Dollars on Stephanie, she’s the best in her business. I have to make Destiny-Ray a winner. Like Stephanie and I, I had to win when I was her age. So now Destiny-Ray has to win.
“Destiny-Ray! Time to get your hair done!’
‘I’m tired Mommy… I…I want to stay in bed…I’m sleepy…’
‘Don’t you want to look pretty for today? You have to have your hair
done!’
“Mommy NO… I don‘t wanna get my hair done.”
If she doesn’t want to do it then I’ll just have to make her. I pick her up and shove her in the chair in front of her diva mirror. I had lights fitted all the way around it so she feels special when she’s having her hair done by Stephanie. It makes her feel like a Princess, even on mornings when she doesn’t look like one.
Destiny-Ray is in a whiney mood and she won’t sit still. Stephanie might be good but she isn’t a miracle worker. Whilst she does her hair, I load all the stuff into the car and then we will be ready to put her in the car and go. I run into the dressing room and grab the three suitcases. I drag one of the three into the car. I make return trips for the rest before I walk back in and hear screaming.
“Destiny-Ray! You better not be crying now.” I holler up the stairs.
“Mommy… It… It hurts… It stings Mommy”
I hear her cry from upstairs and make my way into the bedroom, Stephanie looks at her and sighs, looking up to me.
“She won’t stop crying, the more she wiggles the more it will hurt.”
“Shut up whining, Destiny-Ray”
I shout as I stand in front of her. Kneeling down, I wrap my legs around Destiny Ray, holding back her feet, keeping her still. I grab onto her ears and look up to Stephanie, who is staring straight back at me.
“What you waiting for? Get on with it!” I shout. Stephanie nods and
carries on with her hair. Destiny-Ray sobs and I just stare at her eyes. “Stop crying Destiny-Ray. You’re a winner. Winners don’t cry.” I hiss at her.
It takes about an hour for her hair to be placed into its hot rollers. Destiny-Ray whined her way to sleep as I held her head in place. When it is done, I wrap her Blankie round her and pass her to Stephanie. “Can you put her in the car. I’ll bring the final bits out, then we can go.” Stephanie nods. She is being paid enough to just do as I say. Destiny-Ray doesn’t understand. She has to win, or this was a waste. I will not go home without a crown.
I run downstairs, grab the hair and make-up boxes and put them in the car next to Destiny-Ray; who is finally quiet, and go back in to get mine and Stephanie’s coffees’. We have a long drive ahead, and the roads are still dark and probably slippy. We have to cross the state to get to the pageant, all in time for registration and giving us time to get her ready for my big day.
Today, Destiny-Ray is competing in the 4-5 year old age range. She has three compulsory rounds; age group, swimwear and outfit of choice, then she’s going to compete in talent. I have complete faith in her, I stuffed her with e-numbers so she bounces of the walls and looks peppy in front of the judges. I believe a few sacrifices for greatness is never a bad thing but showing determination for something you want. She is a natural on stage, no matter how grumpy, I know I can count on Destiny-Ray not to let me down. She has won a crown at every pageant I have put her in since she was six months old. Destiny-Ray has done me proud, adding to the other crowns in the cabinets in our house. She has never moaned or complained and just goes along with it, because it is our life. I’m happy that my daughter had good teeth, I’m happy she’s skinny and I’m happy she’s pretty. After all, if my daughter isn’t pretty I would be devastated. If I couldn’t enter her in pageants, pregnancy would have been for nothing.
I run to our room after registration, squash Destiny-Ray into the outfit and pick her up. I place her after two other girls, she is third in the age group line up. I watch, standing in the middle of the isle with Stephanie. We sign frantically to her, waving our arms over our face to make her smile more, putting our hands up, to raise eye line. Both of us walk out the steps, pointing at the crosses she has to hit. She watches us out of the corner of her eye. She is well trained, I taught her to respond to this. I taught her to win.
“Contestant number 3 in the 4-5 age range is Destiny-Ray Dawson.
She has strawberry blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. She loves to sing loudly, play with dolls and eat chocolate. One day, Destiny-Ray hopes to become a vetenarian so she can save all the cute kittens in the world. That was contestant number 3 in the 4-5 age range, Destiny-Ray Dawson!”
She nails it and I jump for joy. I run to the side of the stage and pick Destiny-Ray up. Cuddling her she wiggles in my arms.
“Mom… Mommy! You… you’re hurting me! It hurts Mommy, Let me
go!” She whines but I hold her close for a few more moments. Destiny-Ray has done me so proud that I have to show her. When she does well, she gets attention.
I put Destiny-Ray down and grab her hand. We change outfits three more times for her other rounds. The outfits are stunning, ranging from three thousand dollars to ten thousand. I see these outfits as an investment in her future. Being a beauty queen opens doors, gets you a good husband and allows you to carry on doing what you love.
The end of the day always makes my heart race. Crowning. I sit on the edge of my seat, Stephanie cuddling Destiny-Ray. I reach out to her but she shakes her head and snuggles back into Stephanie. I’m too nervous to cuddle her anyway as I wait for her age range. When I hear it called, I prize Destiny-Ray from Stephanie’s arms and pull her towards the judges. She is tired and I grab her hand and walk her onto the stage. I stand by her side until she shoos me off stage. I wait eagerly until she isn’t called. I turn to Stephanie and give her a thumbs up. Stephanie is smiling and Destiny-Ray walks off, to cuddle Stephanie and I. We tell her we are proud of her and then wait. Destiny-Ray doesn’t receive a crown in her age range, so she qualifies for a higher title. One of the two top titles. Grand Supreme and Ultimate Grand Supreme. I’m aiming for Ultimate.
When they are called back onto the stage, she walks back on. Destiny-Ray stands, straight back and smiling proudly, like a statue waiting to win. Grand Supreme goes to some unfortunate looking child, who obviously has come this far with a sob story. Then Ultimate Grand Supreme.
“Ultimate Grand Supreme goes to….”
The wait kills me. Destiny-Ray’s smile doesn’t falter, even when mine starts to look doubtful. Stephanie is on the edge of her seat.
“ Daphne Phillips.”
My eyes look to the ground. My heart drops and I stand up. Destiny has her eyes on me but I turn away from her. She runs from the stage to grab at my knees. I hear her crying. I look down, take a deep breath. I have to pack away , I break from her grasp. Stephanie walks over to grab Destiny-Ray. Stephanie consoles Destiny-Ray as I pack up our trunks and drag them to the car. It’s raining hard and Stephanie holds a sobbing Destiny-Ray in the lobby until she can put her into the car without getting her soaked.
The ride home is silent. Destiny-Ray stares at the back of my head, sobbing silently to herself. Stephanie stares at her shoes, says nothing and barely breaths. I half concentrate on the road. The disappointment hangs in the air and when my phone rings, with the ring tone specified for my husband, I ignore it. I just sigh and continue down the road to home.
Rebecca Dodson and is a third year creative writing student at Edge Hill University. She lives in Liverpool but comes from Bedfordshire.