From Collar To Cleavage
Tell us about your new book 'From Collar to Cleavage.'
Although it is an autobiography, it deals with experiences we all share. Life is transitions in its many forms. I invite the reader to share some of my life journeys - in their joys and sorrows. It is humorous and sometimes poignant. It covers the aching loneliness of a marriage as a corporate wife, the issue of adoption, and my experiences in living in eight different countries.
What made you decide to write about your life?
Everyone has a book inside them. “You should write a book” was said to me so many times over the years. Intuitively I knew that the moment had come, and I wanted to share my experiences and life lessons learned – lessons that may resonate with others and perhaps give reassurance that they are not alone.
Give us a glimpse into your childhood in Wales.
Wales was definitely formative for me. It is said that to be Welsh is to have poetry in your soul. I had a very happy childhood, one of two children - my brother was 10 years older. My father was a trained carpenter and had a building business. I loved spending my time as a little girl helping him in his workshop – with my own little carpenter kit – a girl carpenter in the making. My childhood was also somewhat different - in that I had a French pen-friend and would spend my summers visiting her – and she would visit me. It was a French – Welsh friendship alliance and it allowed me to see Wales from a different perspective, that increased my love for both countries.
You are well traveled; which place for you was the most memorable?
Japan – the first time that I lived there in the late 70s. To see everyday – some 60 or 70 women in their most beautiful kimono. Japan was fascinating and it was such a different culture. Everything was in Japanese – and it was always an enlightening experience - shopping and not knowing if I was buying salad dressing or shampoo. In fact I actually taught English at a Buddhist women’s university while I was there – and there are now a few hundred Japanese women walking around with strong Swansea accents.
Of all of the autobiographies that line our shelves, why is yours different?
There are not many women who have been an industrial chaplain to a chicken factory in New Zealand, a hospital chaplain in an oncology floor in America, one who spent time counseling Expat women in the Middle East, and the mother of three children – each born in three different countries. In fact – my first husband and I were the first British couple to adopt an all-Japanese baby, who was only 8 days old when we brought her home. My story is unique because – I am a woman – but also a priest. Being a priest immediately puts me in the minority, hence the title Collar to Cleavage. I answer in the book why it’s Collar to Cleavage, rather than the other way around. But though my life has been anything but boring – I hope readers find far more similarities with me in this book rather than differences.
When did your interest in women's issues become wider and result in you counseling about them?
My interest in women’s issues surfaced at first job in an HR department in Wales. It was my first encounter with a woman who had suffered long term physical abuse in a relationship. I had always had strong women role models, in my mother and aunts, and it was hard to make sense of such a situation. As I lived in the different countries, I was exposed to different cultural expectations of women. By then I had started counseling women in all aspects of their lives. Counselling women made me aware that there was a commonality. The women and countries were different, but their hopes and struggles were similar: loneliness, wanting to be loved, wanting to love, and each craving a fulfilling relationship of some sort.
You have degrees in British and American universities. What did you study and how has this affected your working life?
I studied English with French and Italian as secondary subjects at Cardiff University. My love of reading and languages developed right there. At Princeton in the United States I studied Theology, which also covered counseling and psychology. It brought home to me that we are truly body, mind, and spirit, and if one is out of sync everything suffers. When I did my doctorate at San Francisco Theological Seminary, I was living in the Middle East, and wrote about Expatriate women living there – corporate wives who had everything financially but who were lonely and empty, many in unfulfilled marriages. All of the studies intermingled with my developing insight. I had the valuable life experience in my own life and I had the tools to do something about it – and to help others.
How did it feel being so honest about yourself in your writing? Were you apprehensive at first?
It was scary. I was making myself vulnerable, and that is always a frightening thing. My main apprehension was wondering what my kids and my past congregations would think. To my children, I’m Mam, and in the book I reveal my whole self. To my congregations, I’m “Reverend Doctor, and I reveal that I have shortcomings in my own life and that I am also a sexual being. But when my mother died two years ago, it was the end of a chapter for me, and her no nonsense strength inspired me to just go for it.
Who do you most like to read for inspiration?
I enjoy a writer called Margaret Silf. Her writing is practical but also spiritual.
What is your favourite book – either fiction or non-fiction?
I have always loved Jane Eyre. It is a passionate book, but yet it also has a happy end. Like my story.
What is a normal day like in your world?
For those who have not read my book – the chapter of an unhappy marriage is closed at the end. I met the love of my life at 60 and I am now happily re-married – five years in September. My husband jokes that he is married to a talking book and whatever time of day – someone I know is awake and I am telephoning them to catch up. I have learned in my experiences that you have to seize the day, Carpe Diem. I take incredible joy in the everyday details of my life – whether it be coffee with a friend, reading, going to the cinema and travelling the world with my husband, or helping at the occasional service.
What is next for you?
I have half written my next book in my head – twelve short stories, humorous and with a playful twist. In the last chapter of my book I speak of discovering my sporty self – so I am also trying to improve my hula-hooping skills.
Copies of the book are available from Troubador Publishing Ltd.
Female First Lucy Walton