The Cougar Diaries
What can you tell us about your new novel The Cougar Diaries?
My debut novel, The Cougar Diaries Part I, is about the year in the life of 40 something year old woman who is newly single, coping with life, her teenage sons, her difficult ex and dating again, especially dating again. You might think sex was like riding a bicycle, that you never forget, but it's not! Dating and having sex again is a really nerve wracking experience and there are so many different challenges facing a woman in her 40s to a young thing! Having said that, you know how they say youth is wasted on the young? Well, so too is sex! Once the initial hurdles are crossed, then it is so much better the second time around!
Did you feel a little vulnerable at first writing about your own experiences and feelings?
I started writing a non-fiction book about divorce. There were so many things that happened to me, so many changes that I experienced and so many new challenges I had to face. I wanted to share my experiences. But I could not write it. I started it a few times, I did chapter headings, I thought about who I could speak with, I even put out a call for interviewees on sourcebottle, Nada. Then poverty caught up with me. I lost my job, house and nearly my sanity. But I gained time. So, over the summer I started writing a fictionalised version of my life and the words tumbled out. I took everything I had learnt and experienced and felt and squeezed it through the fiction sieve. It gave me a glorious freedom to approach my subject and a great joy as I was in control of her ultimate destiny, it felt a bit like the novel Atonement where I could decide on the ending.
Why did you decide to pick the year you did to focus on in your life?
I choose that year, when Aoife gets her life together again, as I truly felt there were new beginnings. It is four years into the separation and things are not going that well on a number of fronts but this is the year that she finally starts dating again. She has to fight on all sides for her kids, her job and her life - but as a woman she begins to find herself and gain some freedom again. There are two more novels in the series and I have so many plots it'll be hard to fit in the sex - but I'll find a way!
How therapeutic did you find it to write this book?
It was hugely therapeutic. There were so many things I wanted to say about how my life had changed but I didn't want to be perceived as a whining moany guts. I also wanted to use humour to tell my, albeit fictional, story. I laughed out loud while writing bits of it and I think the reader will too.
What do you hope for other women in your situation reading this book?
This too will pass! In my own experience and in my Cougar Diaries, I have learnt that surviving is the art of putting one foot in front of another. As Martin Luther King said - if you cannot fly, then run. If you cannot run, then walk. If you cannot walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, keep moving forward.”
I also believe in living even as you survive. You do not get these days back again. So when things are tough, you find friends that can help you laugh, family that can support you, kids that eventually will understand that their mom is always there for them - even when it appears she isn't!
How can readers who have not gone through what you have enjoy this book?
You don't have to be in your 40s, divorced and dating again to enjoy this book! Same way a reader might enjoy a crime novel without having experienced crime first hand, People who have read and enjoyed my book range from the very young (19) to late 50s that I know of. The feedback I get is that the plot is very fast and fun, and the sex is #realworldsex, by that I mean sometimes it is great but there are some disasters too - just as in real life. Of course, this is fiction so I had a lot of fun writing the disasters. I'll just say strawberrygate and you'll have to read it to find out what happened! The best review I got was when a friend - late 30s, happily married with kids - read it, and she promptly booked herself and the hubby into a hotel without the kids for a 24hr shagathon!
What did you do before writing this novel?
Before writing The Cougar Diaries I thought about writing my novel, I spoke about it and I even tried a few half-hearted attempts. None worked. Then life made me brave. Poverty gave me wings. Passion forced me to sit and write. And once I started I could not stop! I wrote a blog about the life bits that made an impact here. http://markbowness.com/real-people-real-life-change-aoife-brennan-things-i-have-learnt-from-stuff-or-rather-the-lack-thereof/
When did you first realise that you had a gift for writing?
I know I can write, I've always known I was a writer. I was at meeting in Dublin recently, a sort of activist gathering where people spoke on different topics, repossessions, domestic violence, corruption in modern Irish politics - all sorts. At the end, Maria Doyle Kennedy (singer famous for being in the film The Commitments) sang. She said that singing was better than sex and chocolate. Much as I love singing, I think writing fulfils that for me. When I write I feel so happy, so excited and so uplifted. Finally making the transition from talking about it to actually doing it is the best part. Like most things in life, the doing is better than the talking about it!
The Cougar Diaries, the Prequel, came out last year so what can you tell us about this?
The Prequel was actually written afterwards and is a couple of short vignettes on peripheral characters in the main novel.
What is next for you?
Next for me is writing Parts II & III - I have them plotted in my head and just need to get pen to paper - which I am doing after finishing these questions!
readers