Emma Fletcher
With the news that mums struggle to have any ‘me-time’ and spend an average of 1 hour and 58 minutes to themselves each day, mums are way overdue a luxurious spa weekend away.
But if a spa seems a little too ambitious for now, then there are ways you can enjoy a little you time. Emma Fletcher provides a selection of ideas on how to relax and enjoy your company without breaking the bank and without having to leave the home!
Emma Fletcher’s advice on having more ‘me-time’
I’ve just had a baby but how do I (or should I) make time for myself? It’s probably the million dollar question on every new mum’s lips; although a good 75% of us probably wouldn’t admit it. We’ve made the decision to have a baby, it’s our choice and we’ve made our bed, right? Well yes, to a certain extent; looking after a baby 24/7 is all-consuming whether you are lucky enough to get an hours’ break or not. Caring for a new born infant is relentless, overwhelming, exhilarating and absolutely exhausting.
Picture the scene: it’s midday; you still haven’t had a shower, washed your hair, had breakfast or even got out of your PJ’s yet (in any case, most of your clothes are covered in baby sick), the minute baby goes down for a sleep you focus on getting all the little jobs done you had been trying to do earlier that day, washing, cooking, cleaning etc. what time is left for you? Most mums put their own needs right at the bottom of the list while they continue to ‘run on empty’ themselves. But if you want to provide the best support for your new family, it does mean looking after yourself too.
Having a baby doesn’t mean you should lose your own identity as an individual person either. Everyone is entitled to a break and to some ‘me time’ every now and then and despite the consistent pressure on new mums to reach parental perfection in the first six months, the truth is, finding ways to make a little extra time for yourself will actually do wonders for your life as a mum and your relationship with other people. Plus, ‘me time’ doesn’t have to mean spending that time alone, you can use it to catch up with the people most important to you.
If you’re serious about creating some ‘me time’ start by being realistic. You’re unlikely to swan off for a luxury spa week whenever the mood takes you. You might not even get to have a good old night out with your friends any time soon, and in reality you won’t be popping to the local curry house or cinema on an impulsive romantic evening whenever you fancy. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create more time for you. Even just a few minutes of peace and tranquillity can be just the tonic you need after a sleepless night, piles of washing and a screaming baby suffering with colic!
Emma Fletcher with her family
The most important element of ‘me time’ is regularity, it is pointless to go on a mission of having more time for yourself if you aren’t going to instigate it on a daily basis. Make a plan to allow yourself 15-20 minutes of ‘me time’ per day. Even better, write it down in a planner or calendar as you would do an appointment so you are aware it is happening. Make a commitment to yourself to make it happen. In the very early days of becoming a mum that might mean taking this time when your baby goes down for its second or third sleep of the day, this will of course depend on the time of day your baby sleeps but once you get into a better and more regular routine, it will be easier to plan these chunks of time.
The best advice is to use your chunk of ‘me time’ to do something that relaxes you, gives you mental stimulation or just gives you a little boost. Everyone is unique and what works for some won’t work for others, but that is not important; what is important is that you have that time.
Here are a few suggestions of how you can create that time on a daily basis in a simple, easy and stress-free way.
Read
Make a hot cup of tea, dunk your favourite biscuit in and curl up on the sofa with a good book, magazine or newspaper; forget everything around you and get lost in the words.
Breath
An essential part of living, I know! But try to sit in a quiet place in the house and concentrate on your breathing. It is a great way to relax – taking in long deep breaths and exhaling pulls oxygen into the lungs and helps with reducing stress and anxiety.
Water therapy
Take an extra-long shower or run a hot bath with your favourite bubbles and just lie down and breathe in the fragrances. You could even try a quick face mask in the bath or a bit of exfoliation for extra pampering.
Do your nails
Post pregnancy women’s nails can be at their best in terms of strength and condition. Money might be tight and a salon manicure might be out of the question but you can give yourself a DIY manicure, apply a splash of colour to your nails if you have the time, otherwise a good file and some lovely hand cream can be a lovely self-indulgence.
Feel the beat
Listening to music can be a great way to relax. Choose music that inspires positivity, good memories or is uplifting in some way. Lay down with your eyes closed and focus on the music.
It’s good to talk
Pick up the phone, catch up on Facebook etc. Talking to friends is a good thing, it might be the last thing you feel like doing when you are tired from lack of sleep but a light-hearted conversation can be just the trick to give you a boost of energy.
Sleep
What better way to relax that to get a bit of shut eye? While your baby is sleeping is the best time to get your head down too.
Everyone can find something that they can relate to if they put their mind to it. The important thing is not to let other things or pre-conceived views get in the way of your own private time. For example, try not to waste time (certainly in the early days) on doing too many domestic chores. If you don’t have family or friends close by to help you and you can’t afford a cleaner (even temporarily), do the bare minimum – it will keep. Accept any offers of help and choose easy evening meals or make up meals at the weekend and freeze in batches (it is good planning to do this before the birth if you are super-organised!) If you are breastfeeding use this time to multi-task – i.e. do your food shopping online at the same time. On the flipside, grocery shopping can be the perfect excuse to leave the house, baby in tow and get some fresh air.
When you think about ‘me time’, think about realistic ‘me time’, the kind that can happen, does happen and is definitely achievable if you put your mind to it. Getting into the right mind set is also important; so try and live by these four simple rules. Don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t expect too much too soon and don’t expect to always get it right first time (because you won’t!) and finally – try to relax!
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