Cara Delevingne lost her virginity at 18 after she stopped taking anti-depressants. The 23-year-old actress - who is dating singer/songwriter St Vincent - was prescribed pills at the age of 16 when she was feeling depressed and suicidal but hated them and says it was only when she quit taking the medication that she could "feel things again". 'Suicide Squad' star Cara explained: "That week, I lost my virginity, I got into fights, I cried, I laughed. It was the best thing in the world to feel things again. "And I get depressed still, but I would rather learn to figure it out myself than be dependent on meds, ever. "I hate meds. I don't agree with them. It's so easy to abuse them." Cara admitted her teen years were extremely tough and says "all I wanted to do was die". Speaking in the September issue of Esquire, she said: "When it got to being a teenager, and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school, I had a mental breakdown. "I was suicidal. I couldn't deal with it any more. I realised how lucky I was and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die. "I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it's a cycle. "I didn't want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die." Cara also opened up about her relationship with St Vincent, 33, in the interview and says it has put her past romances in the shade. The star said: "It's like, when you find a real love, you look back on the other loves you've had and you're like, 'Ooh, that was a bit destructive.'"
