Relationship trouble. I am a lesbian, 32, my partner's 26. We've been together for a year, she moved in with me after seeing each other for 3-4 months.
Trouble is, we're having fights and argument all the time. She always acts like she basically hates me (tells me i'm horrible, unbearable, etc.) and then I tell her we should split up and she should move out.
Then she also gets hurt when I feel she's hurting me and tell her a nasty word like "stupid". Before that she told me something she knew hurts me a lot.
But i'm the one who's unbearable and not sweet enough... She has tried to move out but came back. I fear it's only because she does not have money or prefers the comfort of our life... she used to live in a different town and has left her family for me.
My problem is I feel she expects me to give all the love and entertainment to her (she never sees anyone), but have no space for me... I have little spare time, she has a lot more, and when I'd rather chill out alone, she want to have sex, etc.
Then she always complains we don't go out and we have a "sexual problem", which for me is only that she would do it every second day. I have needs for diverse things and in my little time left outside work my first though is not sex.
She is to me like a child, always making me dedicating my time to her, and when I just "am", she is upset I ignore her or don't love her enough.
All in all, she is always making fights when she gets fed up (not enough sex or actual care received) and blames me I am not able to love a person.
Deep down I feel she just misinterprets love, and has only been in short-term relationships. Now she gave things up for being me expects all to be like a fairytale and when it isn't she hates me.
She also tells me off in a very hurtful way usually, tells me i'm horrible, she hates me, tells me things like I ruined last years' holiday... which i think she know are very mean things. I just tell her a word like "bastard" and she's completely outraged.
How can I get her off these games? I always try to express what i feel but she's admitted to doing things with a hidden agenda, so she's playing games, manipulating me to behave the way she wants... Any advice?
Bottom line I love her and want to be ok with her, and i know she loves me too, only her ideals are getting in the way of real life.
Thanks!
In all honestly, in your relationship, I don't think that love is enough. It is a sad thing to say, but in reality, love isn't the fairytale that people expect it to be.
You can't have her expect you to bow to her every need and do what ever it is that she wants to do.
It doesn't seem like you are looking for the same things in life, and so don't cause anymore hurt and upset and leave the relationship as it is.
You're better off out of it.
As possessive and unfair as your partner seems to be, I think that you are also very much in the wrong.
Understandably, you don't have much free time and so you don't necessarily want to spend it all with your girlfriend, but do you actually put time aside to see her and spend time with her.
You seem to be incompatible with regards to sexual drive, the way you behave around each other and what you want from life.
With an outlook like that, I think you should move on.
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