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House Clueless

21-04-2006 10:17

House and his team take on a new patient, Bob Palko, after he suffers breathing problems while role-playing in the bedroom with his wife Maria (guest star Samantha Mathis, 'Broken Arrow', 'Jack and Sarah'). Bob has a dry throat and a swollen tongue – "Awesome," gloats House, "A sex fiend with a swollen tongue.

Think of all the places I can make Foreman search" – which suggests that the problem is in his lungs. A scan proves House right – Bob's lungs are heavily scarred and have a noticeably decreased capacity. But after their investigations rule out the common causes of the damage, the team draws a blank.

What could have made Bob so ill? Since his patient's condition is stable, House wants to wait until the cause presents itself in another fashion. Suddenly, bright red patches of skin appear on Bob's chest. Foreman thinks that the symptoms all point to the debilitating lupus disease, in which the body's immune system attacks its own cells.

But House is convinced that heavy metal toxicity is responsible. He dispatches Chase and Cameron to run more tests, and sends Foreman to search the Palko home for signs of lead, mercury and arsenic. Meanwhile, House heads home for a confrontation with Wilson, who is staying with him while his marriage breaks up.

Despite Wilson's unexpected prowess in the kitchen, the friends are not enjoying domestic bliss, and House wants Wilson to move out as soon as possible. "Why do you want to sleep on the couch anyway?" he asks. "You've got money – at least until the divorce is finalised." When the team reconvenes the next morning, the three junior doctors tell House they doubt that metal poisoning could be responsible for Bob's condition.

Not only was the house immaculate, but the tox screen failed to find anything out of the ordinary. Never one to listen to his colleagues, House insists that they should test him again, and starts Bob on treatment for lead poisoning in the meantime. However, Bob soon begins struggling for breath again while also vomiting copiously. His urine also shows elevated protein levels and red blood cells, which Foreman takes as proof that Bob definitely has lupus.

With the two doctors going head-to-head over their different theories, House starts to suspect that Maria is poisoning her husband. He orders Cameron to search her, and when she objects, decides to do it himself. Cornering Maria, he tells her he thinks she's got something to hide and rifles through the contents of her bag.

More about House Clueless on page 2

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