There may be a time when a committed relationship just doesn’t fit into life’s puzzle. You may be feeling lonely and in need of someone to hangout, kiss, and fool around with but can’t be bothered by the stress of a relationship.
Whether you’re putting the pieces of a broken heart back together or just looking for a casual bedmate, a 'no strings attached' relationship could be the answer to your physical needs. Booty call, friends with benefits, f*** buddy- whatever you may call it- sometimes it’s necessary to give your heart and brain a rest and let your body do the talking.
Guys have a natural git (and curse) of being detached from their emotions. They have no problem sweet talking a woman into bed then leaving hours before the sun even rises, also known as 'wam bam see ya ma’am'.
Women on the other hand tend to be more emotional and cautious of feeling 'used' after a one night stand.
Whatever your take may be on casual sex you have to remember to play by the rules when it comes to this fauxmance.
Breaking the rules could lead to hurt feelings, yelling and tears (wasn’t that EXACTLY what you were trying to escape in the first place?)
1.) Make sure you’re emotionally ready to NOT make a commitment. It’s called a 'no strings attached' relationship for a reason! Keep it casual.
2.) You are not their girlfriend/boyfriend. Ah jealousy! It doesn’t look good on anyone and only leads to problems down the road.
You are not in a relationship with this person, and you have no right to get mad if they are dating other people. If you have a problem with it, then you clearly skipped rule number 1.
3.) Choose your partner wisely! This is probably the most important rule. You don’t want to have sex with someone you’re already in love with or an ex. The whole purpose is to have fun and be unemotional...there is nothing fun about an ex.
They’re an ex for a reason! Likewise, if you enter into a friends with benefits agreement with someone you already love in hopes they’ll return the feelings, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.
A friend or acquaintance you’re comfortable with is the ideal pick.
4.) Set boundaries and rules. This may include the 'who, what, where, when, how' of the arrangement. WHO is allowed to know, WHAT is allowed to happen, WHERE it should take place, WHEN it is appropriate to display signs of affection (cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc.), and HOW long you want the benefits to last (a onetime thing, week, month, year.)
5.) Watch your mouth! The word LOVE is off limits. Whether it’s saying 'I love hanging out with you' or 'I love when you...' just don’t. That four letter word has a tricky way of making things problematic in the long run.
6.) Cut it loose! Don’t be afraid to end a no strings attached relationship- especially if you think the other person is becoming emotionally invested.
The great thing is you shouldn’t have to worry about hurting the other person’s feelings. Whether you want to end it by e-mail, text, call, carrier pigeon, or any other ridiculous way, just end it. Don’t dwell on it.
7.) Be safe. Use condoms/ any other method of birth control. There is nothing fun and carefree about STD’s and pregnancy. That will just complicate things, to say the least.
To see whether Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher managed to survive their No Strings Attached experience, why not pop into your local cinema from this Friday, 25th February.
Tagged in No Strings Attached