LONG STORY PLEASE HELP!!

[LoveableNikki]

Ok so here’s the story. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I am happy most of the time as any relationship is. Well I met this really cool guy 6 months ago and we became friends right away. We are so much a like and I think that’s what made us good friends from the start. Well right now we are still good friends we talk everyday at least for a little while. But lately he has been thinking that he wants to be with me. I mean he tells me that he cant see himself with anyone else but me cause we are so alike and get along so well. He did have a girlfriend and was telling me this while they were together. Well he went away for a weekend and calls me to tell me he misses me after he was gone for a day. I didn’t know what to say but I didn’t tell my boyfriend. So when he came back we hung out that night. We talked and cruised around listening to music. He told me that I was the only one he cared about and that he loved me and wanted to be with me and when he doesn’t see me he misses me. I love my boyfriend, but I think Im starting to have feelings for my friend too. Any advise???

[Molly]

Nikki,

Do you love your boyfriend and truly want to be with him? If so, please please please stop seeing your friend right away! Cut off all contact at once. I am experiencing something similar and I don't want to hurt either man's feelings but I have let it go too far and it is ripping me apart. Not to mention that I am going to have to hurt them and neither deserves it. I don't wish this decision on anyone. Not that I am saying stay with your boyfriend.

Think about it,
Molly

[Scrumpy]

I have been with my husband for 14 faithful years and I adore him, but a few months ago I met a man I'd been friends with _ for a couple of years and secretly fancied from afar.
I didn't expect to feel anything real for him or him for me...but it was like a bolt of lightning. The chemistry was so strong. We wanted to sleep together but didn't. We kissed.
After we parted I couldn't stop thinking about him for a while and was very weepy.
We exchanged a series of emails agreeing that things had gone too far and we would only remain friends.
I was very low for a few weeks. Loving my husband, but missing the excitement the other man had brought for a very short while. Then slowly it has ebbed away.
I still like my friend and I still get a frisson of pleasure when he emails, but that's it.
What I'm trying to say...is that you can suddenly feel incredibly strongly for someone, and you have to make a choice. Destroy everything you have for what might be...or clutch what you have to your chest and never let it go.
What I felt was very strong, but a few months on almost gone. It didn't endure.
Now I look back on it as a brief temporary madness....which is what lust is. All those hormones racing. You can't think straight and make rational decisions.
I think I was bored, low, with self esteem and confidence badly suffering.... and suddenly I was made to feel attractive again. It was very heady.
I love my husband more than ever and so very glad I didn't do anything to jeopardise our relationship, and that I'd spend the rest of my life regretting.
We've talked it all through now and he understands.
My advice would be to break off contact with the new man and give yourself a chance to get over your developing feelings. Concentrate on spicing things up with your boyfriend.
I'm really sorry for the turmoil you're in. Been there and got the t shirt