Confuzzled

[Tsukasa_F16]

Alright, I've got a really good friend, but recently I've been feeling lonely and such and have thought about asking her out. I'm pretty sure she would accept, but I don't know if I should or not because A) if we break up later we're gonna lose the original firendship, and B) although she knows I'm a trans and she's bi I'm not sure the relationship would work for long given said circumstances. >_>

Any advice?

[mostirreverent]

How bi is she. Would she miss men? Would she want children? It seems like it would work otherwise, as long as your relationship is good. You have the fact that women have a stronger need of emotional commitment than men going for you. I’m assuming you are now a woman. If so, you may also have many male characteristics embedded in you that she also appreciates besides female genitalia.

[Tsukasa_F16]

No, I'm still a guy--I've been seeing a gender therapist the past six months though and expect to start HRT soon.

About her bi-ness if you will, I don't really know if she would find it hard to deal with when I start going on hormones and change. I've been her friend for about a year and she enjoys doing "girly" things with me (such as clothes shopping) as well as other stuff girls are expected to do with guys (like seeing movies together) so I'm not sure she's gonna have a problem with my interests, I'm just not too anxious to ruin the friendship.

*EDIT*
Oh, and she said she didn't want kids.

[mostirreverent]

Wow, now that is a quandary. On one hand, if you had already been with her as a male, she might prefer the intimate relationship that way. One the other hand…S***, I had a thought a sec ago… O.K. maybe it was this, if you are intimate with her now, it might shed some light on her true feelings about your sexuality. I say “may”, since she may not be able to truly take it all in until it happens.

In any event, I doubt that her genuine feelings would change for you. She may no longer want to be intimate (that’s why I asked about “bi-ness”), but the friendship should last, provided she does not hope to keep you a certain way and neglects to say so. So I guess I would advise a deeper discourse and the start of something more intimate.

[Tsukasa_F16]

O.K. maybe it was this, if you are intimate with her now, it might shed some light on her true feelings about your sexuality. I say “may”, since she may not be able to truly take it all in until it happens.

Errm, sexuality=being straight, bi, or gay... I think you meant my gender? I told her about that months ago, whch is why she does girly junk with me now, so I think she has a pretty good grasp on what I'm like considering the junk we talk about. But you could be right about her not fully understanding.


P.S.
Gender or Gender Identity=Wether you "feel" you should be a boy, girl, or don't care, sex is physical sex, and sexuality=sexual preference. I mentioned that because I'm not sure if you went by that when you said sexuality or not. >_>

[mostirreverent]

By sexuality, I meant how she relates to you physically.

So, in light of her knowing, what does she say about having you as a woman? She may like doing girly things with you, but prefer you with a penis than a vulva.

If you are tentative about initiating something physical, perhaps you could ask her “would you like to have me as a man or a woman” as a hypothetical question and go from there. She might answer both, in which case you could tell her that you would like to be physical with her. From that point, you can start to explore your sexuality with her as your body and relationship evolve.