Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2004 4:00 pm Post subject: The "Friend"
I met my friend at my previous job when he was brought on staff. He was recently divorced, and I had recently cancelled my wedding due to cheating spouses. We quickly became the best of friends. After several weeks of hanging out we became "more than friends". I was very scared of a new relationship with what had happened to me prior to meeting him and tried to downplay our relationship. When he finally came to me with the ulitmatim that it was all or nothing, I of course went with all.
As soon as we were "official" the nice, caring, loving man I had come to know so well quickly turned into a complete jerk who seemed to want to have nothing to do with me other than insult me. My friends and family began to dislike him, refused to be around him, and I quickly did also.
The problem was that we had become each others best friend and confidant outside of our relationship. Now we still maintain that best friendship......though I keep it a secret!! None of my friends or family know (his do know) that we speak on the phone daily, I sneak off to see him and hang out, etc. It is strickly friends, nothing physical and no talk of being together.
We have both been dating and speak openly with one another about what's going on in our dating lives. He has now become involved with a married woman (with a child), and all the crap of sneaking around and lying has pushed he and I much closer. Now I have these feelings of maybe wanting him back, but the thrill of the affair holds him to this woman and I don't know what to do? Her husband has now found out and left her and the thrill again is holding him to her. How do I make him see that even if we aren't together that he doesn't need this in his life.
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