Advice - Long one sorry

[CovClaire]

I've been seeing my boyfriend for the last 3 months and to be honest, I've never met anyone like him . (considering I'm 37, that's not bad going) We just get on so well and I can be totally myself with him. He's said that he's never felt so comfortable with someone as he has done with me.
He lives up north, but we see each other a lot as he works down in London during the week and we spend lots of weekends together.

Yesterday, he phoned me and told me his ex girlfriend (26 years old!) rang him the other day and said she wanted to get back together with him. They split up over 2 years ago because she was going to want children one day and he doesn't. ( he's 40 with 2 grown up children and has had the snip) He told me that this was the only reason they split up.) I know they were really in love and would probably have got married if the baby thing hadn't come up. He said that he may be making the worst mistake of his life splitting up with me to go back to her, but he said that he doesn't want to have any regrets about not getting back with her. Apparently, they had met for lunch a few weeks ago as she has had a cancer scare of some sort which is still ongoing, and he was there to offer her support.

So, she's back on the scene, wanting him back. We spoke a lot yesterday and he said he had been agonising over which was to go but unfortunately, I wasn't the winner here. ( he didn't put it like that - that's just me..) He also said, if she hadn't come along, with our relationship going the way it was, it was probably going to be the "one", which doesn't make me feel any better.
Since I spoke to him, all I've done is cry, can't eat and have gone sick for work today. I know I sound like a love sick teenager - i've surprised myself how cut up I am about it. I've been in love before, but this one has really hit me for six.

He's coming down to London tomorrow and I've asked him to meet up with me, just so I can say goodbye properly and maybe get some closure, but also I suppose in the vain hope that he'll see me and change his mind. If he did, I'd have him back in a flash as he really is a lovely guy - am I mad? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

[Harry]

Well no-one else has commented and you sound like you're having a pretty horrid time so here's my two pennies worth.

I think he is being a bit of a bloke. I suspect she broke up with him and now she wants him back and he is flattered by the fact that she is 14 years younger and probably pretty.

So what has really happened. Well clearly she wants him back, but it all sounds a bit suddent. And how is this going to work? Has she decided she doesn't want kids? Has he thought of having a reversal? Did the cancer thing get to him? (Sorry to be cynical but I even wonder if "cancer" wasn't a ploy to get his attention).

Or maybe she has been around more than you realise and he has been able to use the distance to keep you apart and now he has reached crunch point and he can't handle it any more.

I don't really know what you should do but I would be inclined to tell him that he's making a serious decision and has he thought through all the issues with his ex because if he leaves you now you won't be there if he wants to come back.

Good luck anyway and remember that however black things seem now that the darkst hour is just before the dawn.