Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: How to get your man to propose
I found something ladies that was pretty interesting on this subject. Just fo to:
Men and Marriage: Don't Fool Yourself, It's Not That Complicated. Well, last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiance' said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own relationship. But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothin - girlfriends come and go. If the nigga is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH. He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.
And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting till he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house".
DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiance' by your side?
So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment. Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
this was something for a man's point of view. it sort of makes you think.
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:17 am Post subject: PROPOSAL.
i am many times your age. My wife still is not in the conversation on important things of the heart. If you want the title WIFE then remember SANDRA DEE. No marriage no sex. But in your case you have had six years of it. You have got into a trap.
A check women I have know since she was 16 said I had to say marry me or I leave. I know how hard that was for her and he is now a far nicer male for that shock. But in your case it may not work.
At the fruit and vege KIM said at 40 ROBERT gave her a birthday present. They got married and they have grown up children.
I married just before my birthday. Worth a try don't you think.???
It's amazing to find so many women who feel the same way i do about this, and a little sad too that you all have to go through this. I live with my boyfriend and we are very settled although we haven't been together all that long, we moved in together almost straight away as we missed each other too much being apart. We talk about having children (although we've agreed to wait until i get my degree) and he is as devoted to me as i am to him. But still at the first mention of weddings he changes the subject. I can't help feeling that there's something wrong with me or our relationship. He said once "dont you realise how much it costs?" but i'd be happy with a tiny quiet wedding with just close friends and family. He has jokingly called me his wife a couple of times when talking about me, all i want is to have that title for real. I want so much to marry him but he doesnt seem interested.
i agree with what some people seem to be saying and readign all the posts on here it is confirmed. why would a man want the added cost of a wedding when he has all the benefits of a married life already. weddings have become divorced from the concept of marriage entirely. if couples live together and share everything like a married couple before the actual wedding ceremony then what is the point other than an excuse to have a good ol knees up and for the bride to show off her dress. It's a sham. as someone said why pay for something when it is free already. Girls think about it - don't give your man everything then expect him to do the decent thing.
Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:05 pm Post subject: Why buy it if you can get it free
I think you have CLASSS kid.
If you want to "cross the river in style one day"marriage, then get it right from the start. I know I didn't but yes it was a sham& I am a male saying this.
Mind I am old fashoined romatic poetry and songs.
The best couples I know have been married before. Living together.
One couple say 35 years happily UNMARRIED. Four very nice children and can prove they LOVE each other. No fooling around.
After 3 failed realtionships, the last relationship ended 8 weeks before the wedding.
My partner knew how I felt about marriage, and at the time we were expecting our first child together (who is 1 in 2 weeks time). He knew that if he proposed that I would run a mile and not look back.
I knew how I felt about him and how he felt about me , I nearly asked him to marry me mid-contraction 3 minutes before our daughter was born.
I kept my mouth shut, and kept my thought to myself.
This doesn't sound romantic in any way shape or form, I asked him exactly 4 weeks after our daughter was born. By sending him 3 pre-written text messages to his mobile, whilst doing a night feed. I was down stairs sorting out the bottles for the next day.
We however decided to keep our secret until September, when at a family party and people asking about when "he was going to make a decent woman out of me". We announced it and his family nearly passed out, no one had even realised I had been wearing my engagement ring all evening.
Well, we're still together and I am happy I asked.
Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 1:34 pm Post subject: marriage
Hi All
I'm in a bit of a dilemna and need advice please!! I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we live together. He wants me to move away from my family and friends so he can be a little bit nearer to his family. We have talked about moving before and due to something or another we haven't done it. But now I think we are ready to make the next commitment, marriage. He wants to have children and be together forever but he says he doesn't believe in marriage but can't give me a valid reason for it. I feel that if he wants me to make the commitment to moving and children then why can't he commit to me. I don't want a big wedding but I really believe in marriage and can't see our relationship going any further. i told him that he would have to think about it as I need to know. He said that he loves me and to give him some time but how long can i give him and then he turns around and says no he still doesn't want to!!
Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:50 pm Post subject: coincidence?
I noticed one similar thing in all of these posts. You all live with the men you want to marry. I am no conservative, but I've been thinking a lot lately about moving in with my boyfriend of one year and the one thing that scares me is that if we live together, her won't ever propose. If he has everything a marriage would give him, why should he? For the commitment alone? The tux? The family buzzing around? Inlaws? Men hate these things. Both of my older sisters have been with there boyfirends for 10 years + and still no ring. They have givin up on the idea and now just enjoy the lives they have built together without the party. I don't have any advice to give, I'm sorry, just maybe, don't have a baby with a man who won't marry you. He should respect the mother of his child enough to give her what she wants in her heart and to stand tall to everyone and say...this is my wife!
Peanut it is no coincidence - moving in will only postpone and even quash all chances of marriage- look around it's the norm now for couples to live together unmarried whether it be for financial reasons or otherwise. The rate of married couples has dropped drastically with everyone saying that marriage is just a piece of paper and why should they need to prove their love with a piece of paper. Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper - if that's what it has become then it's time to think twice. It is precisely because society think of marriage as a piece of paper that relationships fail because there is no intention for a lifelong committment through good times and above all bad. Of course everyone is entitled to opinions but marriage should be a natural course for couples who commit to love each other- and should not be a lingering question. If so then you need to question why you are together. Why is it so difficult- forget the expensive weddings - there is absolutely no need to throw money at a lavish wedding - all you need peanut is committment and the intention to love and support each other through thick and thin.
Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:35 am Post subject: Re: How to get your man to propose
lynniepoo wrote:
I found something ladies that was pretty interesting on this subject. Just fo to:
Men and Marriage: Don't Fool Yourself, It's Not That Complicated. Well, last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiance' said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own relationship. But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothin - girlfriends come and go. If the nigga is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH. He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.
And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting till he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house".
DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiance' by your side?
So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment. Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
this was something for a man's point of view. it sort of makes you think.
Red it. What a load of crap. I am Male. Every individual is different. Just because I am a male and my best mate is a male does not mean we feel the same way about things, for example marraige. Some women do not want to get married, some men do want to get married. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PERSON!! We are all different!!
Now to y I think that article is aload of SHITE!!.... I have been with my partner Seven years (bought a house together two years ago)! She is the most amazing human being on this planet. She is beautiful (so gorgeous), kind, considerate, she is just perfect - PERFECT. Without her I could not function. I love her so much!! Anyway, we are not married or engaged, we are way to young, I am 23, she is 24. We do plan to get engaged when we are 26,27,28, somewhere around then, but for now we are all good!! I know I want to be with her forever, I know I could never replace her, I am defi not waiting for something better to come along as I know NOTHING EVER could-she is my Soul Mate!! I am sure your partners feel the same about you. There are just always circumstances, in my case its r age!! Ignore that pathetic article!!
I believe marriage is for life!! U can not really know someone enough after a year or two to marry them and expect it to survive, I mean look at the divorce figures!! (the odd few do survive, I understand, but MOST DO NOT!)
Even if I met my girlfriend in my 30's I would not rush to get married. I would give it at least four years, at least to get to know her!! But thats just me. More people should view marraige this way then the divorce figures would not be so high!!
lynniepoo wrote:
I found something ladies that was pretty interesting on this subject. Just fo to:
this was something for a man's point of view. it sort of makes you think.
Red it. What a load of crap. I am Male. Every individual is different. Just because I am a male and my best mate is a male does not mean we feel the same way about things, for example marraige. Some women do not want to get married, some men do want to get married. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PERSON!! We are all different!!
Now to y I think that article is aload of SHITE!!.... I have been with my partner Seven years (bought a house together two years ago)! She is the most amazing human being on this planet. She is beautiful (so gorgeous), kind, considerate, she is just perfect - PERFECT. Without her I could not function. I love her so much!! Anyway, we are not married or engaged, we are way to young, I am 23, she is 24. We do plan to get engaged when we are 26,27,28, somewhere around then, but for now we are all good!! I know I want to be with her forever, I know I could never replace her, I am defi not waiting for something better to come along as I know NOTHING EVER could-she is my Soul Mate!! I am sure your partners feel the same about you. There are just always circumstances, in my case its r age!! Ignore that pathetic article!!
I believe marriage is for life!! U can not really know someone enough after a year or two to marry them and expect it to survive, I mean look at the divorce figures!! (the odd few do survive, I understand, but MOST DO NOT!)
Even if I met my girlfriend in my 30's I would not rush to get married. I would give it at least four years, at least to get to know her!! But thats just me. More people should view marraige this way then the divorce figures would not be so high!!
Oh boy. Are you seriously saying that you are so into getting to know your girlfriend that you have been with her for 7 years, live together, are certain she is your soulmate, but WON'T MARRY HER? Do you think she is hiding a crack habit or has fangs that you will only see by the 13th year mark?
You think you are far too young at 24 to get married, yet you have a married life. This, to me, is a contradiction, since you "appear" to know you want to be with this person forever. I don't think she is seriously that special to you, maybe you are just incredibly accomodated. I find this disrespectful to the woman you supposedly love so much. Deep inside, I'm sure she's not happy about it either.
Granted, divorce satistics are high. But when you meet someone you truly love, someone who touches you deeply and inspires you, someone who you just can't fathom living without... would you really bring out statistics? "Honey, I love you, you are everyting to me, I want to have children with you, you are the most amazing person in the world and I have never been so happy with anyone in my entire life... if only these darn statistics weren't so high"
Maybe I am too romantic. I just think women want to be made to feel special. It's not even the wedding itself (although for some it is), it's about inspiration, about having someone you love want to share their future with you, and about two people being incredibly happy at the prospect of being together forever, and feeling so incredibly blessed and lucky. No statistics or outside interference should come into the equation when you are certain of what you want.
Marriage should be for life, but it isn't always. You are not psychic, you don't know the future. This shouldn't prevent you from living your life. Some caution is always good, and necessary, but too much caution, to me, is just no way to live. What are you so afraid of?
I come on here to give my true thoughts and feelings about this topic and I get told Im afraid, Im wrong Blah Blah!!
Did you not read my post properly?? Obviously not as u would c I am not afraid of anything!! My girlfriend feels excatly the same as me for the record. We both talk about the fact we are to young to get married, which we are!! We have BOTH said sometime around 26,27,28, I havent just said those ages to myself, WE have spoken about it!! We have a very strong + honest relationship (that is y we have survived seven years straight). U do not know us so you cant judge, I am sorry we do not feel the same about this subject as you, it does not make us wrong!! She is by far the boss in our relationship, she wears the trousers so believe me mate she always says when she is not happy about anything!! She is a straight down the line kind of woman!!
We c so many people get engaged after such a short period, get someone pregnant, then cheat.. this applies hugely to those people who appear on Trisha or Jeremy Kyle!!! At the end of the day we have one of the most special relationships around. We will get married when we choose to. As I said before people are different!! Once again, sorry you do not agree!!
I AGREE WITH THE ABOVE POSTER ( I AM FEMALE ) I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR FIVE YEARS, BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR ONE YEAR. WE ARE BOTH 23. WE ARE WAY TO YOUNG FOR MARRIAGE, WAY TO YOUNG. THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE DO NOT LOVE EACH OTHER THOUGH JUST CUS WERE NOT MARRIED! WE HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT MARRIAGE, NEITHER OF US SHYS AWAY FROM IT, WE JUST BELIEVE WE ARE TO YOUNG AND WE DONT WANT TO DO IT FOR ANOTHER FOUR YEARS OR SO.
THE COMMENT ABOUT PEOPLE ON TRISHA ETC...SO TRUE...THE CHAVS, LOWER CLASS (PEOPLE ON TRISHA) MEET, WITHIN SIX MONTHS THERE ENGAGED OR THE GIRLS PREGNANT, HES OFF WITH HIS MATES ALL THE TIME, CHEATING ETC, ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!!
GIRLS IF YOU KNOW YOUR MAN SHYS AWAY FROM THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE OR CLEARLY STATES HE DOES NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED, THEN YES I WOULD WORRY, BUT IF YOU ARE IN A SITUATION LIKE MINE, WHERE YOU ARE BOTH OPEN AND HONEST WITH EACH OTHER+YOUR MAN IS HAPPY TO DISCUSS IT THEN PLEASE DO NOT WORRY!!
Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 10:12 pm Post subject: Re: How to get your man to propose
. wrote:
lynniepoo wrote:
I found something ladies that was pretty interesting on this subject. Just fo to:
Men and Marriage: Don't Fool Yourself, It's Not That Complicated. Well, last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiance' said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own relationship. But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothin - girlfriends come and go. If the nigga is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH. He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.
And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting till he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house".
DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiance' by your side?
So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment. Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
this was something for a man's point of view. it sort of makes you think.
Red it. What a load of crap. I am Male. Every individual is different. Just because I am a male and my best mate is a male does not mean we feel the same way about things, for example marraige. Some women do not want to get married, some men do want to get married. IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PERSON!! We are all different!!
Now to y I think that article is aload of SHITE!!.... I have been with my partner Seven years (bought a house together two years ago)! She is the most amazing human being on this planet. She is beautiful (so gorgeous), kind, considerate, she is just perfect - PERFECT. Without her I could not function. I love her so much!! Anyway, we are not married or engaged, we are way to young, I am 23, she is 24. We do plan to get engaged when we are 26,27,28, somewhere around then, but for now we are all good!! I know I want to be with her forever, I know I could never replace her, I am defi not waiting for something better to come along as I know NOTHING EVER could-she is my Soul Mate!! I am sure your partners feel the same about you. There are just always circumstances, in my case its r age!! Ignore that pathetic article!!
I believe marriage is for life!! U can not really know someone enough after a year or two to marry them and expect it to survive, I mean look at the divorce figures!! (the odd few do survive, I understand, but MOST DO NOT!)
Even if I met my girlfriend in my 30's I would not rush to get married. I would give it at least four years, at least to get to know her!! But thats just me. More people should view marraige this way then the divorce figures would not be so high!!
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:49 am Post subject: Re: how did you get your man to propose
. wrote:
.....im getting desperate now! we are planning a baby next year to, so its not like we are in a unsteady relationship! we own our house and have a cat and plan our future together all the time. but i would love to get married.
any help from anyone?
There is no shame anymore, being up the duff before getting married! make sure you wnt to get married for the right reasons, and not just because of kids..
anyway, whats to stop YOU asking him?! bah humbug to tradition- its YOUR life!
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and how he felt about me 