marriage?

mysticlvr · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 27 Apr 2008 Posts: 3

How important is weight? My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years says he still thinks I'm hot and attractive, but isn't as attracted to me as he wants to be since I put on quite a bit of weight. I've lost some, but also lost self esteem.

I'm wondering if that is why he hasnt proposed. He said to a mutual friend that he will marry me "if we are still together after I graduate law school". Can a guy propose to a girl he thinks needs to loose weight?

I'm 30 this year and watching all my happily married friends is starting to make me jealous. I've known he was the one for over a year now!

Bouncy · Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject:

What is it you want more, a marriage or a good relationship?

I have a friend who recently just split up with a woman that was pressuring him into marriage. She said her biological clock was ticking, she wanted to get married and have kids and the whole nine yards. While he cared for her, she had this issue of being in $20,000+ debt and only told him about this in the past 4 or 5 months. They'd been in a relationship for 5 years. Any thought of marriage and kids meant that HE would be responsible for her debt should she have to take time off in the immediate future to bare and raise the children.

Long story short, she told him that if he didn't propose, it was the end of the relationship and she'd be out within weeks looking for a replacement. That's precisely what happened.

To her it was the marriage, the kids, the home, the white picket fence that was important to her. It wasn't the relationship the two of them shared as she wouldn't have been so eager to find a replacement if it were.

If this guy you're with is feeding into your insecurities and loss of self esteem now, it's only going to continue. A marriage proposal won't change that. It may make you feel better for a little while, but then you'll wonder if he just proposed out of obligation because he told a friend he would. Is that what you want? Really? Learn to be happy with yourself and what it is that you have to offer before committing to anyone else in your life.

Verve · Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject: Re: marriage?

mysticlvr · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 27 Apr 2008 Posts: 3

thanks.

you are both right.

To answer the question ... i want to be engaged or married to him to be with him ... right now he lives with his brother and i live with roommates. I miss him a lot and when we did live together (for a few months while I was looking for a place) it was great. BUT we dont want to move in together until we are at least engaged. It isnt the white picket fence - we could live in a cardboard box or with roommates ... i just want to be with him. He says he feels the same way.

Fred75 · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 7257

Never shack up with a guy.
You become Easy to him.
You demand no commitment or work from him.
Ergo you're not as cherished as one he would have to work for.

I suggest you stop having sex with him and see if he really does love you.

Tell him he gets you when you're married and you will SEE if he really does love you or if you were just easy.

MaxtheGaul · Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:42 pm Post subject:

Fred; program errors! See below in red. Spelling and Syntax Checker is clearly defective, suggest you revert to previous release as it was better.