Does a potential husband have a right to know?

elainefr · Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject:

yes if the woman had an abortion she should tell
yes if the man helped or payed for it or if he did not agreehe should tell
there shoud be no lies

Salsito · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:43 am Post subject:

ummm. Its the womens body and what happened in the past is neither a secret or a lie.

It would be a lie however if the man asked have you had an abortion and she answered no when in fact she had.

We all have skeletons in our cupboards, not divulging every single thing that has happened to us in a previous life is not a bad thing.

If I were in the situation of looking for a partner, I certainly wouldnt be thinking I wonder if she has had an abortion, if I were the women I would be thinking why is it important that you need to know?

Cambridge · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:36 am Post subject:

Salsito · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 9:50 am Post subject:

Polgara69 · Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 11:28 am Post subject:

Have to agree with Salsito on this one. You dont need to go into every little thing you have done in the past with new partners. Yes, if they ask because they have reason to believe it then you shouldnt lie. I think the only reason a woman should bring it up is if it is likely to have an effect on her ability to have children. Then her partner has a right to know. But do you all honestly tell your partner everything you have done? I certainly dont and nobody really wants to hear about ex's with a new partner and they would get brought into it. No, keep quiet!

Sharon den Adel · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:58 am Post subject:

No, they do not have the right to know. What the woman has done in the past is her business, and her partner has no right to know.
He could be raging pro lifer for all she knows, so it's best he knows nothing about something which has nothing to do with him.

tobinfest · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:17 pm Post subject:

Fred,
I am a guy, but, as a current dating woman, I would wonder why this question would arise. I think it would concern me that I might be getting involved with a control freak of sorts who needs to know everything, including my past, perhaps long before we ever hooked up. Depending on how you felt about abortion (you are the one asking about this in my past), I could only imagine that this might be thrown back on me in the future.
I do not like to see abortion used as a means of birth control (studies indicated that the majority of women who have had an abortion have had more than one). I am reasonably pro-life, but I do not see the absolute need of bringing severely handicapped or brain dead children into the world. We now have the technology to detect these maladies.
My two cents.

Fred75 · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 7852

minigirl · Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:58 pm Post subject:

Fred75 · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 7852

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 6984

Cambridge · Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:55 am Post subject:

This is one of those competing ethics questions you frequently read about in Dear Abby. Sometimes she’ll say, if you didn’t reveal something you are a heel. Other times she’ll say, your past is none of his/her business. I think the ethic is one for you and you alone to decide. Sometimes you believe your spouse has a right to know; sometimes you think it is none of his or her business. But you’d better be sure about what your spouse thinks also; if you get it wrong, you could be in for a lot of trouble.

ZiaAries · Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:59 am Post subject:

I don't keep skeletons in my closet but I think it is okay to have a bone or two that is tucked away for save keeping. Wink

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 6984

ZiaAries · Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:10 am Post subject: