I can't get over my ex-girlfriend

[Orange Crush]

Thanks for the help Eihwaz. I havent talked to her for a few days now. I'm just going to give her some space and see what happens. I was thinking of sending her some flowers or something at the end of the week.

[Eihwaz]

[JooJooBean]

I guess it's a little late writing about this relationship I've had, as it's been close to four months since it ended, but I really needed to relate my story. I've been blaming myself for everything coming to ruin for months now, and it's driving me insane. Maybe people will tell me in this thread that I'm still to blame, and I know I've been 'blamed' by my significant other.

We'd been together for five years, and engaged for about one year. We ended up moving in together finally on the fifth year. The relationships had had it's problems. For the first three years, she had a lot of emotional problems, and they were really taxing on our relationship. She'd always call me up on the phone, wanting to talk, and if I ever got coarse or mean over the phone it would lead to all sorts of mini-drama. Still, I never really minded it, and I always apologized if I was being too harsh or if I wasn't very nice on the phone. The phone was always the biggest problem because she always always insisted on talking, and talking for long periods of time, or calling me multiple times during the night. I would take care of her as best I could, but I'm no saint or savior. She was always depressed, sometimes she would hurt herself with drugs, other times she would talk about wanting to die. I guess that was the first two and a half years of our relationship.

Still, I never really let that stop me from loving her or wanting to be with her. It tired me out sometimes because it was long-distance (sorta). I thought she was beautiful, I wanted to marry her. Again, not everything is her fault, sometimes I wasn't the greatest guy known to man. I would do some pretty stupid things, or say pretty stupid things. I guess that's in every relationship though that's serious. Essentially, I never cheated, hung out with other girls, or abused her.

Somewhere along year three or so, I ended up having enough of the emotional roller-coasters, so I quickly called her one day and sprung a month long break on her. I told her that I was really tired emotionally, that I just needed some breathing space. I was sick of the phone, I was tired of the drama. I just needed time alone. No phone calls for a month. We were going to be in school anyways, so the idea of no "physical" contact for a month is pretty void. It was a given from the start. I just wanted to finish my time at school that month, then we could get back together. From her side, I know this devestated her, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't feel bad about it, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. So I just did it.

But I guess it brings me to the other issue. My family. I did what I did because my mother told me to do it. That doesn't mean it's her fault. I made the choice. I listened to her, deciding that indeed the relationship was too one-sided, so I should take a break to recover some of my energy. I had no desire to leave her. It never crossed my mind. I even told her as much. I told her, "You can leave if you wish, but I'm telling you I have no desire to leave you. I love you very much. I won't leave you, but I understand if this break is too much for you."

At least I think I said that.

Anyway, after the month was over, she still had called me sporadically, I flipped out once or twice, but generally still told her the same thing... that I was sorry for yelling, that I loved her, and that I just need time alone. We got back together, I still apologized for the lost time, but basically we got back into the relationship swing of things. She stayed with me, and I was glad that she did.

But over time I guess I was becoming less and less lovey dovey. In the beginning, I would always call her beautiful, shower attention on her (though let's get serious, it's not like I took her out places or anything like that, I'm a dork and I don't really do that much in the social life). I never had a problem with her weight that much (she was not stick thin or physically fit). I loved her for who she was.

Come around to the fourth year or so, and I guess I started taking issue. She had put on some weight. Or actually, her weight changed a lot. I guess she had problems keeping it under control because of things. Again, right now, I understand that it's pretty damn shallow to take issue with such things, but at the time I guess it started getting to me. I wasn't as responsive to her. Sometimes I wasn't in the mood for love. I wouldn't say, "You're too fat." I'd just say I wasn't in the mood. In some ways I guess I was starving her out. I was much less intimate than I was before. Actually, it was long time before we really became super intimate, as I was and I guess still am kind of prudish. But that's another story not worth hearing.

So anyway, yeah. She wanted to get engaged, as I had been spending so many times telling her that I was serious and wanted to marry her. She said that I needed to give her a ring by Christmas. I agreed, though I knew I needed time to talk to my parents about getting stuff in order, but still I wanted to make her happy. I knew she had issues with it, and I understood. So I did. I wasn't really romantic about it though, as I didn't have time, I felt rushed, and I didn't know the first thing about buying a ring. So I took her with me and had her help. It was shameful and embarassing, but I was glad she came anyway. I just wanted help, I wasn't trying to be "weak." I'm not into the hoopla and ceremony of the thing. I felt my words, shared expressions, and feelings were enough.

So we were engaged, a year of time goes by. I guess I was being less intimate, and at times I would just keep pressuring her about her weight, and working out. I work out and keep myself in pretty good shape. But as I look back, I feel downright guilty. It's not like we never slept together, but I was practically subtly giving her the "you've put on a lot of weight, need to slim down" hints. It was terrible. I can't imagine how badly I ripped her self-esteem apart. Still, she tolerated me, went to her rock concerts, had fun, and I never complained. She was there for me.

Then we moved in together. Sometimes I'd still tease her about this thing. At one point, she finally confronted me again and told me that the weight thing was tearing her apart. She cried. I admitted right then and there, after being stubborn during the talk for a while, that I was wrong, and that I was truly sorry. I still am. I knew I was being a total dick. She wanted more, and I told her I would give her more. It wasn't a lot, but again that wasn't always because of just her weight. I'm not really that "active."

So the months go by. I was going to school, she was going to school, we lived together in an apartment with her two friends. We shared a room. She worked downstairs though, and I played my video games all day, didn't have a job, but did my grad school work just fine. Sometimes I'd opt to just play games instead of help around the house. I knew I was doing wrong at times, and she told me about it. I gave her some grief. The first half wasn't so bad. The second half she started going out places, and wanted me to come ot her rock concerts. I don't like indie rock bands. The first one I saw I was kind of mean and gruff about the whole event. I regret being that way. The other two opportunities I just turned down. I didn't want to go out. That pissed her off, because I would tell her that I'd go, but then I wouldn't. The last time, it was over the phone. I had been going to work to make some money over the school break, and she called asking me where I was. I said I wasn't in the mood for this concert. I was tired, and I was being distant. I was kind of upset because I felt like she was busy hanging out with her friends so much, though clearly I could have just gone and hung out with them. But I didn't want to.

I got mad, told her I hate her music, yada yada, and that led to us hanging up. I get back from break, see her, I'm pissed, she's pissed, she talks to me at night. We kind of fight about me being a liar, never going out, and just generally being mean. I get mad saying I shouldn't have to go out to concerts all the time, I know I do wrong, but I'm always there when it counts. But, towards the end I just give up. I tell her I'm wrong, I should stop breaking promises, and that I hate making her sad.

...

That's the intro to the story that's too long. Here's the recent events. After apologizing and moving to hug her, she tells me there's something else. She says, "I don't think I love you anymore." I'm distraught, and I say outloud that I've been too much on her. I've ripped her apart or something. So I'm sitting there not sure what to do. She says she should kiss me to see if it's true. I agree. We kiss, I try, but she says no, she doesn't. Then walks out of the room, leaving the ring. I call my parents to say what happened, and then go to sleep.

She wakes me up a couple hours later, in the middle of the night, saying she made a mistake. I plead first, saying, "don't come back unless you really want to. Please, just make sure you know what you're saying." I don't yell. At this point I'm desperate. She says she loves me, we go to bed, yada yada. Four hours later, we wake up in the morning. She looks sad. I look at her and say, "What's wrong." She doesn't love me. She leaves again. I'm distraught. I call my parents again. I decide I'm upset now, so I'll just move out.

A few days go buy, and I'm cleaning up my stuff. She comes back agian. She's been distraught too over it, says she's sorry, let's work this out. I eventually say, "okay." We are good, I guess, for about a week. At some point, we wake up in the morning, she asks me what's wrong with me, I say I'm still sad. She says when I'm going to get over it. At some point it's revealed to me that she doesn't trust me. I get kind of mad, vehemently declaring that if she doesn't trust me, she should leave me. I guess I kind of pushed her away from me. She eventually agrees, and mind you, this is really early in the morning, to leave. I feel guilty ever since about that day.

So weeks go by, and I'm not really talking to her. I never say bad things about her. I still never have. I never told her, "oh, you didn't treat me right this time or that." Nor did I tell my friends about how "bad she is." I just was mad that she left, although at the time I wanted her to leave because I was tired of just being dismissed. But now I was kind of depressed. Anyway, she comes up the stairs one night, and blasts me for not being her friend enough during this time. She's been crying on my shoulder for a while before this, wanting me to comfort her for leaving me. And so I did. But this time, she tells me that her friends told her that I deserve this. That I'm just a mean prick. She says this with a straight face. I of course explode, obscenities and the whole like.

She comes back a third time now. Wants to get back together, she apologizes and she's crying. I look her straight in the eyes and say no. This is the moment that burns in my head every day. Why in the world did I say no!? I have no idea. Respect myself? That's what I get told by the parents every day. See, I wouldn't have said "no" unless I was told to. And that's what i was told to do. To just let the relationship die. I was vehement about reconciliation. I wanted to talk. At one point when we were back together, I even talked to her about our way of arguing. I said I didn't like it because it was just corrosive. We needed to talk, not turn things into battles. I gave her examples of things I just keep to myself, because I knew they were petty and not worth fighting over. She thought I was just tearing her down, even though I paused all the time to say it had nothing to do about her as a person. I even asked her if she had anything to say or add because I talk to much. Nothing was said.

Anyway, this third time I say no. I say no because she was blaming me constantly for the whole relationship, blaming me for being a liar, and not trusting me to fix it. In fact, she was hoping I'd fix myself completely, and the whole relationship would be fixed. As if there was no problem on her side.

But I guess there was no problems on her side. In fact, I can't really remember what she was doing wrong. I was being a prick, playing video games over hanging out with her, had no job, just went to school, and didn't get intimate with her a lot, and was occasionally teasing her about her body image. She was working hard in grad school, holding two jobs, was in the big sister program, and just trying to graduate. I was doing jack diddly squat. And yet, throughout all of this, my parental advice over the phone was, "Leave her, it's not worth it. She's using you." I would tell them, "But I did so many things wrong." And they'd say, "All relationships have these problems."

Really? I don't think any girl would stick around for me after all that. And to this day I really dont' blame her for leaving. But I got torn apart after that third time. Her publicaly wasted me. Called me a crappy boyfriend to our neighbors. Had a good time drinking and flirting right in front of me with them. Went to rock concerts, told her friends how bad I was, told me how they all threatened to burn my pictures. Got her other "big" (and I mean no offense here) friend to hate me because of how much I had spent doting on her weight. So basically, I became the plague.

And to this day, she thinks the relationship fell apart because:
A) I was mean.
B) I wasn't willing to talk
C) I don't listen.

So basically, I suck, and I ruined everything. She hates seeing me, she hated seeing me, she cried all the time, did her hard work, then went on to bigger and better people i guess. I even wrote a letter once saying I didn't deserve her during this time. I made it plain as day that I was sad this all happened, and that I regretted being apart from her. Still, she felt justified and that I was just a young punk.

Anyway, that's the end of my story. She moved out, got a new apartment, new career job, new grad school, gets the men she wants, and has a great time. Meanwhile, all I've got left to cling to is this "dignity" crap that my parents kept telling me to hold on to. They told me I was being controlled, and that I made the right choice based on that.

But I wake up everyday not believing it. I still miss her and love her deeply. I hold nothing against her. I feel like I just crapped on everything. If I didn't follow the advice on the phone, I'd be fine, right?

Basically, I don't even know the truth of the story anymore. I don't know what happened. Sometimes I just want to scream at the parents because I feel like I got tricked or fed bad advice. I know it's just over and that I just have to move on, but I can't help feeling like I got told to chop off my own arm, and I did it, and all I do now is regret everything, despite how good my life is regardless of all this. It's torture.

There, the end. Sorry for the long post. Respond at your own peril.

[Orange Crush]

JooJooBean Parents always see things one sided. They want whats best for their kids. You have to answer these questions yourself. That's the only way you'll get the right answer.

[Dheart]

Hey peeps
A few months ago you may have read my 'broken heart' problem...and many replied and I'm greatful to alot of you.
Anyway I wanted to be here to represent 'the other side' the part where your hearts mended.....mended enuff at least!
For me its been 8 months and well yeh i had alot of down times. but all i can say to everyone is you get there. i promise. i read peoples stories of getting over it and i used to be like 'yeh right whatever' but now i see theyre telling the truth. So am I.
My story meant I would never get back with my sweetheart. I always wished I wud and I thought there was a chance. I was a fool and only realised until lately it wasn't going to happen. I kept kidding myself. Anyone with the same problem should know to avoid all contact and never been tempted to call/visit/email. I worked in the same place as her and thankfully she left, which helped too
I'm probably talking rubbish thinking im making sense but one point has to be made....
We get over it....life will feel happy again.
My best friend said to me "If you love someone let them go. if they come back they are yours forever. if they dont, it wasn't meant to be"
Stay happy everyone, peace and respect.
DH

[meron]

I'm all for the 'ignoring to stop the pain approach' but what happens when your ex still keeps in regular contact?
My GF left me last week after three and a half years saying that she didnt love me in the way that she used to and that she felt trapped by our relationship and that she has felt like this for a very long time.
Since then she has called me regularly like every day. (and its been HER calling, not me.)Also, soon after we broke up she started saying that she still loved me and there was a 'possibility' that we would be back together, but only if things with this guy she had a thing for didnt work out.

so basically she said : 'you still have a chance'

she also told one of her freinds that she still loved me and it was gonna be hard for her to cope with when I find someone new.

three days later, she told me that she didnt mean what she said, she's saying now that she loves me, but she not in love with me. I know
what the heck huh?

Anyway, what the hell is she thinking? shes started messaging all these guys on dating websites and wanting to talk to them etc. but she says that she wants too keep in regualr contact with me and stay best friends etc. and also that she wants to see me some time this week face to face.

WHY???

does she have some ulterior motive?? Is she just tryin to string me along?

what the heck is going on in her head?

and btw I also dont want to alienate her, because although I still have very strong feelings for her and would possibly take her back I dont want her out of my life as a friend even though I should be avoiding her.
can anyone shed some light on this?

[Pia]

Yes looks like she's stringing you along just incase she cannot find someone else. Just tell her it's over and stop calling you.

[meron]

yeah the only problem is its not that simple. I dont think Id want her out of my life completely, (as dumb as that sounds)
I just want to know why after dumping me like this does she still feel the need to ring me every day

[Pia]

You are her insurance just incase nothing else works out.

[meron]

I know, I just spoke to her a while ago and she was very weepy and unhappy saying that she feels like she has 'no purpopse' and that when she was with me she had a purpose, I didnt ask what that 'purpose' was and frankly i dont really care, I'm pretty sure she was like this because this other guy ddint ring and she has been feeling lonely.
The hardest part is trying to decide what the hell to do.

[Schnandrenn]

I understand how you feel. I had the same thing happen to me. Just understand that you are not at fault are the blame to the relationship ending. Just take it as easy as possible and hangout with friends. It's ok to think of her just don't try to get her back; just let it be. Trying to get her will drive her farther from you. Just pray for her and wish her well. She broke up with you due to fears and insecurties that she have within herself that only she can heal herself. She will do the same thing to her other boyfriends that she did to you, because she haven't resolved her innerself issues that need healing. So don't feel respondsible for her actions toward you.

[JooJooBean]

Yeah, don't let her string you along. Some people need to find themselves... the problem is that they need to find themselves while they are with you, so you end up getting the shaft. And you'll get all kinds of reasons from them as to why they left, but really, people leave because they have issues with themselves. They don't like how their lives are going, or aren't sure about what they are doing, and so they'd prefer to leave. That's usually how it works, at least, from what I've been trying to see or observe.

The only thing you can do is move on. I think another observation I've been coming to lately is that we, as human beings, are so terrified of being "alone." You watch tv, the movies, and read books that all glorify love and relationships to such an extent, that the idea of "not being attached" is something to be mortified.

I'm not saying you shouldn't value or pursue relationships, but since my ex left me, I came to the realization that I'd really seriously bought into the "attachment" thing. It had become so overwhelming that I became convinced that I'd just dropped the opportunity of a life time, and that if I never made up for it, then my life was only half lived.

In short, I'm just saying that I think a lot of us who are pining after our exes are just kind of addicted to "sex" and exclusive relationships. When I say addicted, I don't mean we're rabidly seeking to fulfill our desires, but just that we invest so much into one relationship, but that investment doesn't get returned. We get left for whatever number of reasons, and then we don't know what to do because we made it the center of our lives. Being single to us becomes hell. We start to buy the idea that if you're not getting your needs satisfied by someone, you're not living life. This simply isn't true.

So just let her go. Really. I love my ex very much, and always mutter to myself, proudly (which isn't good), that I would go to hell and back for this person. But the fact remains that she simply isn't interested. I didn't make the cut for her. And as much as that wracks my brains and makes me feel sick and useless, at the end of the day I have to realize that we're not put on this earth to "make love." That's a lie. If you find love, great, it's a gift and you should cherish it. But if you don't, just live with it. Or if it takes a long time, don't fret. Just live with it. But don't make the mistake that hundreds of people make, trying to grasp onto straws or push a relationship that hasn't really become a "marriage."

If she's having doubts and issues, then that means she's simply not ready. This pertains to guys as well. If your partner doesn't know what they want, if they like to go out all the time still, and can't live without being social, etc., if they're not thinking with you as a unit, but instead see things as "You and I," then maintaining the monogamous committment is just as waste of your time. And trying to maintain is like locking yourself into a vice grip. and then you get to spend the rest of your life, or at least a signficant portion of it, trying to fight for this person's attention and satisfaction, and you'll only wake up years down the road disastisfied and wondering what the hell happened. You'll still love the person, but also will realize your choices weren't exactly good.

That's the biggest lesson I've been learning myself. I'm still deeply and passionately in love with my ex. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her or regret doing mean things to her. But at the same time, I realize that I really was never chronically or terminally mean. I would have turned myself into a dog servant if she asked me enough times. But our personalities were clashing, we didn't see eye-to-eye on things, and really, despite her age, she too was still searching herself and had many desires that were far outside of the "let's be married" or even "let's be close together."

so that's it. Don't fight too hard for love or sex. Both things are great, and every human being should want to pursue it, but don't make it your center piece in life. Don't turn it into a god. Don't buy the claim that if you don't fight hard enough to keep your piece of the emotional pie that you've some how missed out on the whole world. Because that's simply not true. You, as a person, have a lot of things to see and do in this world. Don't let the girl control and snag you along for the ride. Because while they don't really feel wasted because they know they can just leave and get attached to someone else anytime, they also know that you won't do that, and so they're in control. Don't let someone control you.

[tenyears_gone]

Hi everyone....
I’ve been following this thread for several months now.
I’ve finally committed myself into writing something here so that maybe I can receive some more knowledge, and/or perhaps provide some for those who have had a similar situation.

So I’ll start by saying this:
I was in a 9 yr relationship with the love of my life. It ended over a year ago (15months)
We were the best of friends, and talked about everything … including marriage and having a future together.
When we first started dating: I was 19 and she was 16.
When she called it quits: I was 28 and she was 25.
She left by telling me the main reason was that she had a lot of feelings of resentment over the fact that we got together at a very important stage of her life (16-25) … and while being in a relationship over that time period, she felt as though she was cut short of enjoying the things that some/most people experience while not being in one. (pretty much see said she wants to see what it’s like being single)
What could I say to this? So she left.
I’m now 29 and very quickly approaching my 30s. All of my friends and people I know, are either married or in a relationship. I find it so so SO tough to meet people around my age that aren’t married, or don’t’ have children from a previous marriage…. And dating is foreign to me. I mean, how do you change a mindset and thought process that’s been engrained into you. I mean, I was truly in love, I would have never have cheated on her, nor looked at anyone in that way. I haven’t been on a date in over 10 years! I don’t’ even know where to start! … I don’t’even want to start either! Wtf is wrong with me?
I guess what I’m trying to ask or get at is… Is anyone out there been through this situation? (abandonment)
It’s been over a year… and I’m still deeply affected by the relationship. She was the one. I invested so much into it… I can’t see myself ever loving another in that way. It’s just sad.. the whole thing. I guess I’m wondering what else anyone can say about this.
I mean… I obviously am better (mentally)than I was a year ago. I used to cry pretty much all the time. Now it’s reduced to maybe once a week. But I’ve done everything as well. I’ve tried exercising and running, I’ve tried to meet people, I’ve tried to surround myself with friends and family,
I’ve even gone as far as taking a job in another city to start fresh… with new surroundings…. Although It might have backfired, because I don’t know anyone in the city I’m living in now, (7mths) - so I often find myself very alone and pondering about how much life sucks. I can’t keep it up for much longer… I feel like it’s a constant fight… all day even when I try to bury my thoughts into work. I’ve lost my life. She ruined everything that I a truly believed in. I want to have my life back again. I lost the past 10 years of my life.
If anyone has anything to say…. Please say it.

[JooJooBean]

You're not the only one.

It was actually a relief in some respects reading your post. I've been feeling the exact same way. Though the relationship I was in was only five years and not ten, I was pretty much in the exact same boat. Well, I guess it was a bit different, but in the end, I began to feel just absolutely wretched, and now, just six months down the road, I've been experiencing the exact same feelings you've had.

I've also spent some nights just crying, or feeling absolutely powerless. It's amazing how much one person can just crush your spirits in leaving, or expressing so much discontent suddenly that the relationship just falls apart. And as much as you try to grip onto it, remain absolutely positive about it, and not have a mean thread in your body, nor a resentful thought about the whole situation, it won't change things. And so you just feel even more hopeless.

And then you look at life, and indeed, somehow you suddenly realize that life indeed sucks. Not necessarily for you or I -- we're typing on the internet. That alone says something about our wealth, level of comfort, etc. But the overall picture just looks absolutely, horribly bleak. You put all of your love and attention into something, and it just breaks down, and you still can't figure out why. I'm in the very same boat. I spend more than one day a week just about willing to quit and give up. And life, technically, isn't even bad. But I've felt this overwhelming desire to just throw all opportunity out the window and just sink into the shadows, or join the rest of the crowd in misery.

So you're definitely not alone or entirely unique in your thinking. The solution? I have no idea. I have hobbies. I exercise as well. I keep in good shape, have a nice appearance, I know if I really put myself out there I wouldn't have to face another tragedy of struggling to "find someone." But my desire to do so is nill. My entire life, even though it is entirely separated now from the past, still swims and circles around this one person. It is unnerving.

I wasn't entirely abandoned. Eventually, I just one day decided, as I was being asked back, to just leave things as they were. And I've just regretted it ever since. Little to nothing has comforted me from it. Food, money, clothes, friends, haven't really done the trick. I know life isn't hopeless or terrible, but I can definitely feel where you're coming from. The agony is seems unreal, even when you know logically and rationally very little has been lost.

[jamesp]

Hello...

I have been reading through the posts here and feel for all the broken-hearted.

My g/f recently ended a very loving 3 year relationship. We met at university (on the same floor as eachother) and have basically lived with eachother up until the break-up 5 weeks ago.

As many of you have stressed here I felt like my life was over, i invested a lot of time with her and many of my close friends, whom i met at university, are my ex's close friends too, so I have now lost most of them too (my own choice).

We both had experienced other relationships before, but for me she was the love of my life. When she broke up with me she said that she still loved me but her feelings had changed and she wanted badly to stay best friends with me, as for her I am the closest person in her life. This was very hard for me to handle (still is). We never argued and have experienced many wonderful things together and not one aspect of our relationship wasn't amazing. She is stunning and very intelligent and everyone that met her wanted to contact her male and female. I never smoothered her and she was exceptionally loyal.

I initially blamed myself and we met up the day after, to say goodbye, and talk things through, which was emotional for both of us. We ended up having sex and she still looked at me how she always did, and I could see it was very hard for her too.

The point of my story is that I was in a very loving relationship with the perfect girl, everything i ever wanted and lots more, have only recently broke up and felt like my life had broken down. The reasons I was given were she didnt feel the same as she was worried about our future. However even though I could of probably won her back I didn't...I haven't contacted her at all, even though it is killing me, and I asked her to respect my decision which she will. The best way to move on from situations like this, where you can even be physically ill under the stress, is to sever all contact no matter what, however complicated.

The only way to move on in you life is to stop the feeling of dependence you have for the person, and make sure you gain happiness single again, as you all have been once before. Even in my situation where I feel like I have lost the perfect patner for me, it is so important to stop the destructive longing for the person.

Accept it is over. Talk lots about her until you are bored of the subject yourself. Do not contact her even if you both want close friendship as it will not work in the short term. If you want friendship wait until you are completely in control of your feelings and are completely over her. Have sex with other women, preferably not one night stands as they just make it worse in these situations. Do not think about what you had. Mainly just let her out of you life and risk never seeing her again. This might sound hard but it is the only way. It is so easy to say but the advice is good. I am trying it now and it is slowly working although I still miss her lots and lots, but it as only been 5 weeks so in another 5 weeks maybe i'll be happy again. Its so hard for me at the moment and sure it is for all you too and my best advice is to let go and dont make contact agian till you are completely over her however long it takes and do it straight away, preferably on the day of the break-up, she will respect your decision if she truly cares.

Quote: "No woman is worth your tears and the one that is won't make you cry."

James