Dreaming he's cheating...

[Black_Sheep]

Why do I keep dreaming about being suspicious that my bf is cheating??

I have one of 2 dreams at least once a week.

Dream 1:

He is supposed to be picking me up from work (which is my old school!) but doesn't turn up. I decide to walk. His house (which isn't his real house) is only 5 minutes walk away. He is standing at the upstairs window and sees me coming up the street. He vanishes. When I get to the front door he opens it to let me in. The inside of the house is actually the way his house is laid out and I go straight upstairs to the toilet. On the way past his bedroom I notice that the quilt is in a heap in the middle of the bed. I find this unusual because he always makes the bed and it's 6pm. I head downstairs and into the living room/dining room. I sense someone is there and turn around to see a woman sitting eating toast at the table.

This woman is actually an old work colleague. My bf used to be our manager. I swear she used to fancy him because she would always flirt. She was my number one enemy because of this. I used to give her daggers all the time cos I was the only one allowed to flirt! When me and my bf got together it was kind of a secret to begin with and her and my bf had both left where we worked, I was the only one still there. She came in visiting one day and completely blanked me. Which was unusual because we always got on even though I hated her! Her dad lives near my bf and she also knows one of my bf's daughters.... it's obvious word had got around.

Sorry that was a bit long but knowing who the woman is might help.

Dream 2:

He picks me up from our usual pick up point. When I get in the car he tells me he has to go pick J___ up from work cos her husband is away. So we park outside her workplace and wait for her. She comes out and asks by bf to help her with a box. We drop her off outside her house and my bf carries the box inside for her, I wait in the car. He takes forever to come out and I start getting suspicious.....then I always wake up.

J___ is also another old work colleague. Her and my bf have been friends a long time... well before I even started working with them. She is married with 2 kids and often has barbecues and that to which my bf is always invited. I was also jealous of this woman because of her friendship with my bf.


Anyway, there you have it. I'm 100% certain he wouldn't cheat since his wife did the dirty on him and he knows what it's like to be hurt! So why the hell am I having these dreams? Probably my mind doing overtime again

[cosmicB]

I don't know how your life and mind mechanisms work.. but when my GF was cheating, I saw everything in a dream.. Well it started as a dream, while I was taking a nap on the couch after a grueling day at work.. then it woke me, and the dream was still playing on the wall, in the upper corner of the room... I couldn't turn it off... it was like I was watching a GD xxx B-movie... It super pissed me off... Some pretty-boy dude, at a party, shoved her backwards onto a bed, almost violently, and screwed her like she was a cheap fast-food meal, like a one shot thing... Then she came home stinking like him... I dumped the bitch...

As far as I see it, dreams like that are your mind telling you it's really happening... because your mind has your best interests in mind...
I believe that if someone is messing with you, somehow some where inside of your mind's workings you always know it... It's just that you have to trust yourself, and believe in yourself...

If what happened to you was happening to me.. like if I was in your shoes, I'd try to determine if any of the facts in the dream were actual reality... then I'd dump the goof, and start a new life as fast as I could... No sense in prolonging a crappy relationship... they only get worse.. and there's all those horrid STD plagues flowing out there these days... A cheater could bring home HIV or something, without even knowing it...

If I had that repeating dream I'd cut the guy off in a New York second.. then demand he get the full gamut of STD blood tests, before he even gets another kiss.. and that he lets me ask the doctor, or clinic, for me to read a computer print-out of all the results of his tests...

Bottom-line is if someone is hurting you.. inside your mind you somehow know it...

[Black_Sheep]

Yeah maybe but before getting with my bf I thought that something was going on between my bf and the women (not at same time). That was until I found out there definitely wasn't.

So could it not be that something else that's happening in my life is manifesting as this "cheating" dream. I'm not in denial or trying to turn a blind eye on it if he is but, if he was cheating, why would he when his ex-wife did it to him? Why would he want to hurt me? He knows what it's like. He's such a sweet, sensitive man who always thinks about my well being before his own.

Personally I think my mind is just f*cked up and my previous suspicions from being a young, naive, jealous girly are haunting me.

[cosmicB]

If you are living in a fantasy world, then the dream is a distortion, as you detailed... but if you are living in reality, then it's really happening...