My Dad Is Cheating On My Mom, Please Help!

[Guest]

Every situation is different.

Ya think????

Hard to tell.

You?

[kklin]

ok well im only 14 an i was going to check my email an it logged into my dads some how and i tough it was mine. so i opened an email from this lady cause ididnt know who it was an wanted to find out how she got my email an who she was so i read the email an as i was reading it it siad somthing about meating at a hotel an stuff thats when i realized this wasnt my email... so i was curious so i kept reading it and found out it was my dads when i read his reply it said ya i was sick so i couldnt meat u because it would be hard to explain to the wife why im going to the bar when im puking every ten minues well i guess uguys get the point an omg im so confesed the weird thing is you would have never of guessed that my parents would cheat on eachother an idk how or if i should tell my mom omg help me please!

[kkli]

ok well im only 14 an i was going to check my email an it logged into my dads some how and i tough it was mine. so i opened an email from this lady cause ididnt know who it was an wanted to find out how she got my email an who she was so i read the email an as i was reading it it siad somthing about meating at a hotel an stuff thats when i realized this wasnt my email... so i was curious so i kept reading it and found out it was my dads when i read his reply it said ya i was sick so i couldnt meat u because it would be hard to explain to the wife why im going to the bar when im puking every ten minues well i guess uguys get the point an omg im so confesed the weird thing is you would have never of guessed that my parents would cheat on eachother an idk how or if i should tell my mom omg help me please!

Is that why you are trying to pass yourself off as me?

[Guest]

Is that why you are trying to pass yourself off as me?

You trying to be clever?

[Guest]

ok well im only 14 an i was going to check my email an it logged into my dads some how and i tough it was mine. so i opened an email from this lady cause ididnt know who it was an wanted to find out how she got my email an who she was so i read the email an as i was reading it it siad somthing about meating at a hotel an stuff thats when i realized this wasnt my email... so i was curious so i kept reading it and found out it was my dads when i read his reply it said ya i was sick so i couldnt meat u because it would be hard to explain to the wife why im going to the bar when im puking every ten minues well i guess uguys get the point an omg im so confesed the weird thing is you would have never of guessed that my parents would cheat on eachother an idk how or if i should tell my mom omg help me please!

I suggest go back to Google and enter "mother father having affair" or something. Find a forum or board where people have to sign in instead of being an*nymous guests like on here. Look through this thread and see that there are a lot of smart asses that think serious matter are a joke. There are stalkers and people with grudges on this forum that strike out at anyone. There are also a lot of great people whose honest and sincere comments get trashed.

I hope you are doing okay and have found some peace.

[sad face]

and today we went to the mall and i saw him looking at these groupe of woman in minie skits he diddnt take his eyes of of her thats when i got out of control i got up and yelled at him eyrybody was looking at us i told him "why do u hav to do this to outr family"? i was realy shoked my dad turned red then :cry: then... he told me he was going to leave and ill never see him again but then the day after i saw him sleeping on the couch we have dich so i was looking what t.v shows he was watching and ne of them was "play boi" i realy need help :cry:

[Guest]

and today we went to the mall and i saw him looking at these groupe of woman in minie skits he diddnt take his eyes of of her thats when i got out of control i got up and yelled at him eyrybody was looking at us i told him "why do u hav to do this to outr family"? i was realy shoked my dad turned red then then... he told me he was going to leave and ill never see him again but then the day after i saw him sleeping on the couch we have dich so i was looking what t.v shows he was watching and ne of them was "play boi" i realy need help

you do need help . . . minding your own business, junior.

[Guest]

and today we went to the mall and i saw him looking at these groupe of woman in minie skits he diddnt take his eyes of of her thats when i got out of control i got up and yelled at him eyrybody was looking at us i told him "why do u hav to do this to outr family"? i was realy shoked my dad turned red then then... he told me he was going to leave and ill never see him again but then the day after i saw him sleeping on the couch we have dich so i was looking what t.v shows he was watching and ne of them was "play boi" i realy need help

you do need help . . . minding your own business, junior.

Until your own lying bast*ard father is screwing some cheap slut ho, you haven't got a clue what you're talking about.

[jinjin]

and today we went to the mall and i saw him looking at these groupe of woman in minie skits he diddnt take his eyes of of her thats when i got out of control i got up and yelled at him eyrybody was looking at us i told him "why do u hav to do this to outr family"? i was realy shoked my dad turned red then then... he told me he was going to leave and ill never see him again but then the day after i saw him sleeping on the couch we have dich so i was looking what t.v shows he was watching and ne of them was "play boi" i realy need help

That is terrible, I get a very strong impression that you have a dysfunctional father. Although you mother may not know what happened in the mall, it is hard to imagine that your mother is not already affected by his behaviour at home. If my impression is correct then I think neither you nor your mum should have to put up with his behaviour.

I think you and your mum should put your dad in a position where he has to shape immediately or not be part of the family unit, and both you and your mum should separate from dad as quickly as possible.

Both you and mum may find a way to move out, or try to find a way to make dad move out; if the house is in your mum's name then he should move out. Your mum should contact a lawyer and have a separation agreement drawn.

While separated, your dad has a chance to improve on his own. This may led to a reconciliation and restoration of the family unit. Otherwise, the next step after a long separation is to file for a divorce.

Your mum should also contact child support enforcement services (or whatever equivalent you have in the UK) to establish and maintain child support and medical support.

If your dad does not agree to separate, mum should contact a lawyer as quickly as possible. Divorce is expensive, but the first person who files for divorce tends to have the advantage in court.

This is what I think. However, ultimately, the decision is for your mum to make. All you can do is to let her know that his behaviour bothers you too and support her decision.

[danbell77]

Hi,

in the last cuple of weeks i had walked in on my dad text messaging people on his mobile phone multiple times. However, when i walk in he quickly hid his mobile. I was very suspicious so i took matters into my own hands. I waited til he was asleep and checked his text messages. It turns out hes got dirty texts from another womans talkin about meetin up n stuff.
Im scared my dad will leave as im only 15 and my brother is 12.
What should i do, please help...

[Guest]

the same type of thing just happened to me and im freaking out so the only thing i could think of doing is talking about it on here. i was taking a shower and when my dad got home from work he went straight to his room, not knowing anyone was home. so when i got out of the shower i heard him on the phone saying oh baby. so i sat outside his room and listened because i didnt think he was talking to my mom. so after listening for awhile he started mentioning stuff that really gave it all away like "when we have sex...when you were in bed....you get me drunk and im yours...etc." i knew what was going on and i freaked out and burst into tears and confronted him about it. and as soon as i opened the door he slammed his phone shut and then i told him that i wasnt stupid and i knew what was going on and he couldnt even look at me while i was sobbing in his arms. i even saw text messages to the stupid lady on his phone saying baby and i love you man in between his text messages to my mother and it was absolutely devastating. bever since yesterday i cant stop thinking about it and wishing i never listened. because im going back to college tomorrow, him and my mom are driving me down and he told me hes gonna tell her on the drive home. she called me after he told me that and all i could think about while i was talking to her was how upset she'll be tomorrow i was trying so hard not to cry over the phone to her....so the fact that ill be 4 hours away and im not gonna know whats gonna happen and if my parents are gonna get divorced or not is scaring the S*** out of me. i cant help but feel like my parents are gonna get divorced and my whole life is gonna change because i decided to say something. what if i didnt? i would just be blissfully unaware...but now i have this huge burden to carry around and all im gonna be thinking about while im at school is if when i come home for thanksgiving will my dad be there or will he be off living with his slutty tramp of a mistress? i know this is of no help to anyone sorry for that... and the fact that this is one giant incoherent sentence but i just needed to go somewhere to get this out because there is no one i can tell.

[No saying]

Ok, I don't know what do, While on hoilday, I was messing on my dad phone, like taking pictures, then i found nuked picture, and i knew who it was, then i saw his text, saying like i love you etc i wish i was there with you in bed, i can't wait to F*** you again, i am suck, i don't know what to do? Tell? I though about talking to the women who my dad been seeing as i knew her, but she would tell my dad, suck again

[Guest]

An influx of wh*ring fathers out there. Probably just as many mothers. Your parent that is being betrayed needs to know what is happening and your wh*ring parent needs to have the decency of giving her (or him) a choice of whether to stay or not. You kids will be much better off having parents that are being honest with each other than playing games and tearing the other's heart out.

"Mind your own business" has no relevancy here. You know now. it's not your responsibility to bear the secret for a parent who is an adulterer.

A quote from "Ask Peggy"
"A lot of attention has been focused on the pain of discovering an affair, but very little on the pain of suspecting it. Only about twenty percent of those whose spouses are having affairs ever find out for sure. That leaves eighty percent
who supposedly don't know and therefore "can't be hurt." But the betrayed spouse DOES hurt. It becomes a silent, creeping cancer that affects everything they do. It's always there—the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty, and the enormous drain on their pride. It is an alone and helpless feeling. It seems like a nightmare. All kinds of emotions: wanting to die, wanting amnesia, wanting to run away…"

That old saying "what they don't know won't hurt them" is absolute crap. Your mom (or dad) knows that the marriage is hurting and deserve to move on and either find someone that cares for them in a decent marital relationship or get the truth and decide if they can try to heal.

Hoors and sluts will not agree with this of course. Neither will those who have never been touched by infidelity in their marriage or family.

It's your business now and for your parent to try to get you to be silent, they should be whipped.

[The Colonel]

It's your business now and for your parent to try to get you to be silent, they should be whipped.

Totally agree.

[Guest]

I suspect that my dad is cheating on my mom. this isn't the first time it happened a long time ago and my mom was depressed. one of her friends help her out and she would be going out with my dad at night to make sure things were alright. But the times she went out decreased a lot since last year when her friend went back to China. We figured last year when my sister looked at my dad's phone calls and text messages. he has been text messaging a women that my mom use to befriends with. We kept it a secret hoping that our dad would change. but during this summer he had various phone calls from this women and will either go to a different room or call when my mom was in the washroom or not in the same room. Once we overheard his conversation they were talking about breakfeast and they have been eating together every morning. He would go out really late and come back really late. Now we don't want to tell our mom because she works really hard for this family and helped us a lot , if we told her she would cry all the time which would lead to depression. And we don't want our family to separate. If we confront our dad we are afraid that he will deny or get really mad at us. We don't know what to do. We decide to leave it alone but I know someday that we would have to tell.... WHAT SHOULD I DO!