a question, primarily to my lesbian friends...

somefun

if I was out for the evening and giving off straight signals but was obviously interested in you - would you hit on me.

can your gaydar pick up enough info about a woman, to warn you off a bad choice of woman? (i.e. if I got intimate with you - I might fall in love with you)

honest answers - not seeking to be flattered!

loubilou · Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 5:15 pm Post subject:

Well apparently both myself & my gf look straight & give off straight signals. We get hit on all the time by men when we're out together. Unless of course we're all over each other.
I'm not the type of person who's confident enough to chat anyone up no matter how much I fancy them but I must admit that most of my lesbian friends would chat you up BECAUSE they think you're straight. It's a kind of challenge.

LeRoc · Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 9:04 am Post subject:

I would make a move on you regardless of 'straightness' if you were giving off subtle hints. There are enough straight androgenous girls and gay feminine girls for things to be pretty confusing, if you like someone, you are making eye-contact over a crowded room then I can't see that it matters that much what they are wearing.

Thats just me though, I should probably add that when I was 18 I had long hair and would dress in whatever the latest faishions were regardless of whether I was in gay or straight bars; I often got hit on by men but never women. Since then I have become more comfortable with my sexuality and have cut my hair short and seem to have developed a more traditional dykey look. Now I get hit on by women and never men. Actually mostly I like to do the 'hitting on' part so maybe that is your answer - stop worrying about if you are giving off the wrong vibes and march right up to that hot girl!!!

Don't get mixed up in identifying with gay or straight looks, life is complicated enough. Just be yourself.

noodles

somefun · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:52 pm Post subject:

hey, nood, I would have thought that an educated lesbian lady, would have trod on this territory before.

Have you really never been eyed up by a woman, who you may be mistaken in thinking, was only interested in men?

Nicnac · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:28 pm Post subject:

The thing is, the media have built up a ball of characteristics directed about lesbians, so wouldn't straight signals just be the opposite beliefs of the gay steriotype?

Either way, If I found a woman attractive and she felt the same way about me, I would possibly try and see how the situation flowed.

Although, If I felt the woman was just curious (but then that would leave me steriotyping!) I would probably stay very clear, I have always regarded friendships/relationships very highly, and only commit myself when I've established a relationship, therefore, If someone just wanted a tinker with a woman, I'd be more prone to being hurt.

However, with conversation being the main catalyst within my relationships, during that period of time, I can establish the other person.

In reference to your questain SF (!) yes I'd go and talk to her, but would need to fully be comfatable with her to carry on a relationship.

somefun · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:19 pm Post subject:

nic - you are right that a lot of this revolves around stereotyping - people excluding others on the basis of rigid, unfounded views and beliefs - rather than just taking that step, to talk to each other.

arrogant presumptions about other people - lack compassion and show a self-limiting igronance.

noodles · Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:19 pm Post subject:

somefun · Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:28 pm Post subject:

Janice2

[quote="somefun"]if I was out for the evening and giving off straight signals but was obviously interested in you - would you hit on me.

I probably could!
Hugs
Janice

Loren · Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:30 am Post subject:

I've been hit on by what were previously straight women. I'm not sure if it's something within women that is just below the surface or if it's my being unconsciously attracted to them that brought it out of them. Although i was once asked by a male collegue at work if i would consider haveing sex with his wife,as he put it that 'she had a strange sexual attarction' to me. I declined simply because i just didn't fancy her. We kept it between ourslelves so as not to embarras anyone.

somefun · Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 10:02 pm Post subject:

Liya · You Go Girl (100+ Posts) Joined: 07 Mar 2006 Posts: 101

If the lady is hot! I'm not shy to go and start a conversation.

cl · Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:59 am Post subject:

A few years ago my boss used to give off vibes that would make my gaydar go off DING DING DING...We were basically inseperable during ourworking together and she shared many holidays with my family.....We had several "discussons" about my past experiences wth girlfriends and she seemed way more then a little curious. I had always been faithful to my husband.(Except the only way I coud climax was to think about being with a woman) I got back rubs and lunches and she would look for me at partes.Many people alrady thought we were couple....comments about "where is your oter half" were often heard... I was more then sure if I pursued her I would have a story to tell.

My boss had gotten fired and we had not seen each other for quite a while. We made a date to go out and have dinner and catch up with each other. I informed her at that time that my husband and I were on the verge of seperation and that I had been involved (although not completly physically) with a woman that I had met _ for the first time in 20 years! However; this woman I was interested in was trying to do the right thing and was no longer trying to be in a relationship with me..other then friendship. I got several calls from another woman while my ex-boss and I were at dinner. My friends chatted on the phone bit and then my friend and I stayed at the restaraunt for several hours. The subject never got off GAY relationships....I knew she was feeling me out for information! What I was a little cnfused about was whether it was me she was iterested in or just curious in general?

We finished our dinner and went out to our cars. My friend decided I had a bit to much to drink and was going to follow me home. However my kids had called and wanted icecream so she and I stopped to get it.....I am SO glad we did! SHe had gone in and ordered it and came out to give it to me in my car. I rolled down the window to get the icecream and we talked a few minutes with her leaning her head into the car. As she was getting ready to leave she leaned in to give me a kiss good bye not unusal for her but there was a difference in her kiss it lingered and was a bit exploring.

I pulled back and smiled at her I said," Hey that was a real kiss" she chuckled a bit and said, " I know so is this" and she leaned in and gave me a kiss that was so sweet and passionate that absolutley left no doubt that she wanted more then just a kiss. We kissed for quite a while and man oh man was I ever toast! She is by far the best kisser I have been lucky enough to be with..This woman is willing and wanting to do just about anything to please me and that is such a turn on...

I asked my husband to leave in June and by the first week in July we had made love and I was past my reservation of being with a straight woman! she and I both agree she is still straight.....she only has one bend and that makes me the lucky woman she happens to be in love with! LOL...I thought i would pass out the first time she took off her shirt!!!!!!! By far and above I have never seen a woman with larger breasts!!! EVER....lol.....I tell her all the time.........its like Christmas my birthday.....every holiday all rolled into one.........glad I went for the straight chick.....I BROKE MY OWN RULE... I never wanted to be a woman' first.....I wantedto be sure a woman knewwhat she was getting into.....shedid........ME Very Happy