commitment issues and breaking up. PLEASE HELP, IM LOST

BobNeedsHelp · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 1

My girlfriend and I have been having problems for a while now, and for her it has been a horrible struggle. I know she loves me deeply, but I f-ed it up by acting inconsiderate etc. The other problem is her fear of commitment. From the time we moved into a house in the hills, secluded from the world, she has had problems with feeling trapped. I can understand that feeling, so I agreed to move down around the towards the center of the city. The move worked out well, but she then thought I had a desire to see ther people because of an email she read (which I wasnt trying to hide) about some adult dating site. Well, it was spam....

Basically the conclusion she has come to is that we are young, and therefore should see other people. BUT it is okay to live together because she wants to feel that jealousy of me being with othr women so she can gain back a feeling of appreciation for me. Also, she claimed we never had a true friendship, and she feels that being with other people, yet not closing our door on intimacy, will allow our friendship to blossom. I am at a loss because I know we are right for each other, but I dont know what I should do about this whole situation. The more information, the better.

By the way.... I'm from the USA and I'm not a jackass, I Definitely didn't vote for BUSH!

jasper2411 · Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 10:31 pm Post subject:

i cant really think of anything to suggest, except:
what if this idea doesnt go to well and one of you gets too jealous to control? i know what id be like if i walked in on my ex in bed with someone, doesnt matter how long we been seperated.

moonlit_mauve · Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:52 am Post subject: hmm

maybe seeing other ppl is not a good idea..my opinion is that u two should talk ur fears,try to make the relationship strong.maybe spending time with each other more might help

MrRogers · Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 4:26 am Post subject: Re: hmm

Pink Blues · Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:49 pm Post subject:

Mr.Rogers would seem to have hit the nail on the head. What she is proposing sounds a bit juvenile and twisted. She has issues...issues you don't have...she needs to deal with her issues as a mature person. Asking you to do all that dancing around just doesn't feel right to my gut. Jealousy is NOT a pleasant experience for either party. If she thinks that it is something to attain and that will actually help your relationship...she needs to go see the head doctor.

It doesn't sound like she really knows what she wants and she bounces you around w/ her "current" emotion. That kind of thing never made any sense to me...and it is damned irritating. You know, it is the same as "I hate you, but don't leave me!". WTF! Yes, she does sound young...and very immature. It is up to you exactly how much you want to deal with her issues and commitment...ain't the only issue she seems to have.

Good luck. Don't let her drag you around by your goodies. Razz

Be strong and clear about what you want.

PB

sloan · Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:05 am Post subject:

I have to completely support Pink Blues above. She is right... this chick is screwed up if she needs to see you with other people in order to "appreciate" you. She will learn to appreciate the hell out of you if you dump her and start going out with other people. Her commitment issues for the moment will be gone, but then she will eventually turn out to be the exactly the same as she is being now. Move on. Let her go.

BTW- why does voting for bush mean you are jackass?? I know alot people who voted for bush, who are not jackasses. I can't say I agree with many of his polices, but you are not a certified jackass if you vote for him.

Pink Blues · Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:29 am Post subject:

sloan · Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:40 am Post subject:

Thanks Pink Blues!! Wink

I like your humor.. definitely no offense taken and I agree with you. I can't stand people who are Republicans but don't really know both sides of the issue.. They just vote Republican because they think Democrats want to give all of their hard earned money away to the lazy. Personally, I am a Republicrat... socially a Democrat, fiscally a Republican. I wish I could combine the parts of both that I like.. but unfortunately with our screwed up political system not possible.

But still no one is jackass based strictly on their politics... Wink

Pink Blues · Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:07 pm Post subject:

LOL

Sloan...jack asses live on both sides of the political fence. I wish I could combine the two as well. Oh, that would be a moderate...which i am but there isn't a party for...just a lot of fruit loops in between the two.

It is scary to me that many republican votes are won through the "moral majority". Exactly whose morals are we talkin' about here?

Well, good old Bush has 3.7 years left to run amuck and then we get to start all over w/ some new political ho-bag.

And what does any of this have to do w/ head case girl???? Sorry didn't mean to change topics. Rolling Eyes

Pink Blues Laughing