Compulsive Liar

[sus4844]

Ive read all the postings, and feel less alone than before, but I would like to address the other person in the liars scenario.....Their partners.
I can find the right words to explain how I feel when I know I am being lied to. It makes me feel so stupid.
You start a relationship believing all a person tells you because you have no reason to doubt what they are saying, and then the more lies you uncover, the more you doubt, the more you are lied to, and told that you are overreacting, or that you are paranoid, or that you are being silly, the more you doubt your own intelligence. Its such a revolving door.
You keep telling yourself that you could be wrong, and all the while, your gut is telling you that you are right. Even when you have hard evidence that the other person is lying, they still deny deny deny, causing you to question things that you know are right.
Liars never stop to think about how they steal the other persons self esteem. You are slowly robbed of it over time.
Loving someone is not enough to make them stop lying. I dont know if someone who is a compulsive liar ever stops. They are selfish, want everything to go their way. They never take responsibility for their actions. Its always someone elses fault they lied.
Even if they do admit to something, which is almost never. They will convince you that their lying was just, and that telling the truth would have been worse.
I am coming to believe that a compulsive liar cannot change. It starts in childhood, as a means to an end, and continues throughout their lives.
What a tangled web we weave, when we become entangled with a liar.

[ohiomom1234]

sus 4844,
I do agree with EVERYTHING you are saying. It does rob it, it is unjust, and there may not be a cure. They say once a cheater always a cheater. I have a hard time believing that, but I do believe once a liar always a liar. I think they can learn to lie less, but will never be able to be truthful all the time. My husband is so bad right now that he tells me and his psychologist that he is suicidal. He thinks everyday about ending everything and all the embarrassement will go away. Remember, he is on an antidepressent for about three months now because of suicidal tendancies when facing the results of his lies, but claimed that he is SO much better with the thoughts of ending things. Until today, he said that he LIED about not having thoughts because he wanted things to be better. I have known this man for over 15 years and I have no idea who he is. It's a very scary thing. It seems like so many of us have this problem, the post is getting bigger and bigger which is great, but why isn't there help out there? This is a small post on an internet web site, one of millions, but yet we are finding more and more people who are going through this. I wish someone could tell us how to stop it!

[Onmyway]

I was just reading the two stories about the husbands that have compulsive lying problems. I think that it is important to state that it is not always just men but women also. I know because I have this problem myself. I suppose that I have always known deep down that I had a problem but was convinced that I could handle it. Today I realized that I can't....not without help. I have been with my boyfriend for four years now and have done many of the same things that your husbands have done. Pretend phone calls fabricated stories all because I wanted people to think that I was the woman who has it all together. I almost lost him today and although I may not deserve it he loves me enough to want to help me to get past it. It scares me to death but I want and need to change...not for him or anyone else but myself. I want to be a better person. I want to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror. For me I have realized that I have alot of anger from my past that I have never dealt with. I have been without even realizing it putting up a defense and keeping people away. I know that I have a long way to go and many hills to climb but I am ready to be the person that I should be. Me. I can not say why your husbands are that way....I am not even completely sure why I am that way but I know that there is no worse feeling in the world than when you hurt the ones that you love. Ultimatly they are the ones hurt by lies. I came _ tonight looking for self help or support groups and found this site. I just wanted to give a perspective from someone who does have this problem. Let them know that you love them and are supporting them one hundred percent....you will be surprised at how much that will help them to take that 1st step. Good Luck to you both.

[ohiomom1234]

You sound like your onmyway! Good for you for realizing that you have a problem and having the courage to tackle it. I know for myself, and probably the other girls who have used this forum, our husbands don't seem to want to help themselves. We see the embarrassement, but not the willingness to change. We have held fast and held true for a very long time showing our support, love, and encouragement. Be the one that beats the odds here and give us all a little hope. Be proud of yourself for wanting to change, its the first step to a long road. Best of luck to you!

[SadderButWiserGirl in KY]

I met a delightful and charming 39-year-old Welshman in Oct. at a local sporting event and ended up hiring him to do some rennovation work on my home. He said that he'd come to the US from Wales about ten years ago and told me interesting stories about where he had worked before coming to our small town. With his British accent, his riveting gaze, his attentiveness, his intelligence, and his wonderful sense of humor, and his professed loneliness, he completely swept me off my feet and we began to date. He was totally unlike anyone that I had ever dated before. He seemed exciting and slightly dangerous from my very conservative point of view. He brought his 8-year-old son to my house often and they became a fixture in my life. Everything seemed perfect for the first month or two: he worked on my house as his schedule permitted, mostly on weekends and between other jobs and we saw or spoke with each other daily, often several times a day. He charmed my family and friends too and seemed an intelligent, talented, and caring guy. He told me horrendous stories about his ex-wife and the way she had treated him during their marriage and after his divorce. In short, he told me harrowing tales that made my former husband seem almost a saint, so I could really sympathize with his problems and the stress that he claimed to be dealing with and the loneliness that he claimed to feel. He would come to my house after work on another site and tell me how difficult the people were being and that he didn't know how to deal with the situation. I was completely devoted to him and sympathized readily. He would often ask me when we were getting married, and I'd laugh, thinking that he was joking. He continued to allude to our "ending up together" someday and he plied me with compliments, either about my inner strength or the attraction that he felt for me. He went out of his way to please me and to show his affection for me and to woo me in every way.

Then, at the beginning of December, the work on my house slowed down. He often failed to show up when he was supposed to: he hinted about potential business opportunities that he'd like to get into or that he was checking out. He told me about his financial worries and that he was developing some health problems that were interfering with his work. In other words, he was playing on my sympathies when I questioned him about finishing the work on my house. By late December, he was spending far less time with me and would be gone for several days without keeping in touch. He fired the guy who had been working with him at my house and couldn't find anyone to replace him. Work came to a standstill, with the exterior of my house looking awful.

By mid January, I was constantly waiting for the phone to ring, wondering if he was going to show up, either to work, or to spend time with me and I was miserable. I had already begun to wonder if he wasn't seeing another woman because he didn't call or come around nearly as much as he had at first. We continued to date and he was still charming, but something was obviously lacking. Whenever I asked him what was going on, he blamed work-related stress, financial problems, worry about an elderly friend in Ohio, his former wife, and his health problems.

Finally, however, he made arrangements to have a friend of his come from out of town to help finish the job on my house. One day the friend stayed behind after work and said that he needed to know "who to be mad at". I felt an immediate sense of foreboding, and I asked the guy to explain what he meant. It seems that he'd been promised an hourly wage that was more than he was being paid and wanted to know if that was my idea or not, because that's what my boyfriend had told him. After we talked for a while, we found that there were several discrepencies in stories that he'd told both of us.

That was the beginning of the end of my working and romantic relationship with this seemingly perfect man. Through various local contacts, phone calls, and some Internet searching, I discovered that my boyfriend had lied to me about almost everything that he had told me, including where he was supposed to be working when he wasn't doing my job, about his supposed health issues, about his financial dealings, even about his work history and qualifications, about a recent vehicle accident that he'd had, and about his personal life as well. When I confronted him, he did not admit that he had lied: he calmly changed the subject. On a later occasion, I told him that I knew that he'd lied about a specific incident and he looked me in the eye and continued to lie, though I am 100% sure about the truth of the matter.

He is so convincing when he lies that it is hard for me to believe that I am right about his character, but when I put all the facts down in black and white, I know what the truth is. It is very chilling to know that he lies without batting an eye and that he seemingly feels no remorse and that he lies for no rational reason. Based on what I have learned about him in the last month, I truly believe that he is a con man or scam artist who targets vulnerable Ohio and KY women (divorced or widowed) who have some financial assets. He flatters and showers attention upon us, then gains our sympathy with his sad stories and sometimes manages to get sexual favors, money or expensive items that he can later use or sell. I feel fortunate that the worst that he's done to me is to break my heart and leave my rennovation work unfinished. At least I wasn't fool enough to use all of my assets to finance one of the schemes that he told me about, or to agree to marry him.

Based on research that I've done, I wonder if he might not be a possible sociopath. It is really scary to think that I was completley fooled by a "shell of a human being" who feels no empathy, who has little or no ability to feel real affection, and who has no conscience, but bases his ideas of right and wrong on what benefits or hurts him. Looking back, the clues were there all along, but I refused to see them even though instinct kept telling me to slow down and not be so trusting because my exciting, slightly dangerous boyfriend seemed too good to be true. Sadly, I still have feelings for him and I want some kind of closure, but I guess that's because I am human. He has apparently walked away from our relationship completely unscathed.

However, getting back to my purpose for this posting; I wanted to find some way to warn other women about him, and men like him. Hopefully this forum will help some other woman to avoid the heartbreak that I'm suffering right now.

[hdc56]

I have been reading with amazement all the stories about lying partners.
I honestly thought I was alone. I have just ended my relationship with my husband of 18 months. I had been divorced for fifteen years and vowed never to marry again. I met my husband and he swept me off my feet. One year of meeting him we were married. I have my own business, own home and two grown up children who, at the time were living with me.
This caused a strain on our marriage (according to him) and the children, after many rows left home. The lies and deceipt were not noticable at first.
His watch going missing - must of been when we were out and the children had friends over. Imagine my horror and sick feeling. Then his mobile phone bill - 48 text messages in 8 days. But I was wrong to accuse him - he eventually admitted after several different stories that it was a female friend! (oh right!) I had to stop accusing him or our marriage was over. Several other issues arose and on speaking to his family and ex wife- I heard completely different versions. Needless to say they were all lying because the were jealous of him. After this - the binge drinking started. One evening he wanted a cup of coffee and I jokingly said "well you know where the kettle is". This led to him walking out - getting drunk and returning the following day. He was very angry with me and said that I had to appologise for speaking to him like dirt. Again I backed down - because I thought it was my fault. Added to all this he had run up £32,000 on credit cards and was put on a IVA programme. His building contracts always went wrong and ended up costing us money. After two and a half years I am financially worse off than I have ever been. I know it is my own fault - I should not have been so generous and understanding. The lies continued to the point that when I confronted him with 100% proof he said that he did it to protect me or that he knew I would be angry - so it was really my fault. He has totally screwed my head up. I keep asking myself - why? He was such a loving caring person at times - how could he be so nasty at other times. I am 48 years of aged - tired - exhausted - humiliated and totally distrusting of anyone. This forum has helped me realise that I am not alone. How can these men get away with it? I dare say he has moved onto his next victim by now. After all he has been on his own for two weeks and must be ready to start again.

[azpowergirl1]

Please read this letter I wrote to the judge to get a restraining order against my ex-bf.....a narcissistic, self absorbed, conniving sociopath. Don't walk away, ladies...RUN! These men are wired wrong and will NEVER change! Watch out for a handsome 47 year old man named XON in AZ....he'll take you for everything you've got!

Dear Your Honor,
Although I will have the opportunity to explain the following to you in your court, I believe that it would be best summed up in writing. I need to explain to you why it is imperative that I obtain a restraining order against my ex-boyfriend, XLS.

I met Mr. S on April 1, 1999. I was still married to my husband of 18 years, but we were separating and I had a deposit on an apartment in the same complex where Mr. S resided. We met and I thought, felt instantly in love. That meeting prompted me filing for a divorce, and I moved in with Mr. S. within 2 weeks of our meeting. He absolutely swept me off my feet, and we were inseparable. We lived in an apartment setting for a year, and then, after I received my divorce settlement, decided to move west of the valley, purchase a home, and buy horses together. It was at that point that I LOANED Mr. S. $10,000. The home was to be OURS, although I allowed him to put it solely in his name because my credit was less than desirable after my divorce. I thought everything was an absolute fairytale and loved Mr. S. like no other. I used to cash my paychecks and just give him the money for our living expenses, and could not have seen what was about to happen coming. In August of 2000, we went on a cattle drive and Mr. S. was nearly crushed by his horse. I was beside myself, thinking my “soul-mate” would be crippled for life or worse, die. I nursed him back to health, waiting on him hand and foot in order to help the compression fracture in his back heal. By November, he was much better. So much better, in fact, that he told me right after my 40th birthday and just before Thanksgiving that he “never loved me and never would” and threw me out of our home. Needless to say, I was devastated. My whole world collapsed around me. I was left homeless, with a horse, 2 puppies and three children. I had a horribly paying job and a vehicle that broke down almost daily. Mr. S. did not care about any of this and didn’t even help me move. I asked him when he told me to leave if this meant we were over forever…that I was supposed to go out and date someone else. He told me to “just use a condom”. Shortly thereafter, he started coming around again….stopping by to tell me that he was wrong, that he wanted me back and that he wanted to “grow old with me”. He stated, through tears, that he had gotten caught up in a huge . mess. He swore that he owed the “mob” 1.5 million dollars and that he had to live at an east valley . to pay off the debt. I sobbed again, thinking that his life was in danger. For the next 2 years, I waited patiently for him, worrying every night that he would be killed….asking him every month what his new indebtedness was. He gave me a decreasing amount each month, and by September of 2002 he said he was finally paid off. I helped him get a new job and he said he was working hard to provide a future for “us”, although I began to catch him in various lies. He had an explanation for each one, and I chose to believe him because I couldn’t imagine someone professing their love for me, and yet stabbing me in the back at the same time. Mr. S. had since sold the home we had, did not pay me back a red cent, and invested the proceeds in a small home in Tonopah, AZ, right next door to the one I was living in. He said we could live in one and rent out the other, and that it would be our little “love shack”. Mind you, Mr. S. continued to come to me for sexual gratification at least twice a week. Again, I allowed this because I believed him and believed we would grow old together.

In November of 2002, I found an address of ******. He claimed he was traveling alot with his new job, and when I questioned the Scottsdale address, he claimed it was his “. .” sponsors, Nancy Hyttel and her husband, Mike. He begged me not to go to the address to confirm this story, stating that they had a restraining order out against me (which made no sense) and that going to the address would “ruin my life”. I went anyway. That’s when I found out that Mr. S. had been living with Nancy Hyttel, possibly as her husband, for the entire duration. Again, my world collapsed. By this time we had a wedding date planned…I had my dress, the bridesmaid’s dresses and all the flowers made. He had proposed marriage to me several times…down on his knee in front of my then 77 year old mother; in front of my children with a huge banner that read “NA___ will you marry me?” Little did I know that Nancy Hyttel’s middle initial is also “A”. All of his lies began to fall into place.

Mr. S. denied having anything to do with Ms. Hyttel. He claimed she was a fling; that he only had sex with her 5 times; that the sex was horrible; that she was flat chested and had a huge belly. He claimed she was clingy, possessive and controlling and that she “would not leave him alone.” The various messages I found out later that they continued to send to eachother, however, proved otherwise.

Your honor, by now I imagine you must think that I don’t even remotely have a brain in my head. I must remind you, however, that I had come from an extremely unhappy marriage, and all of the promises Mr. S. made sounded so true and convincing. Mr. S. continued to profess his innocence…he would cry to my children, threaten suicide if I left him, and each time I attempted to move on with a new beau he would come around full throttle….threatening those men and telling them that “I was his woman”. The most recent of these incidents was in January of this year when he attempted to run a suitor off the freeway access road on his motorcycle. Again, he succeeded in scaring away any chance I had at happiness.

Please see the attached copies of cards Mr. S. has given me recently, still professing his love. I also am providing you with voice mail messages. Mr. S., in the past, has had a key to my home without my knowledge and would leave flowers by my bed, or cards for me to read, begging me to marry him and live with him forever. However, each time I asked him to “come home” (I have since purchased my own home), he would find another excuse for not committing.

Mr. S. has also told me far-fetched stories about being in protective FBI custody (Jan. 2003), moving to Illinois for work (March 2003) and still, not being involved with Ms. Hyttel. He also claimed that he impregnated Ms. Hyttel previous to March of 2001, and that she had a D&C to end the pregnancy. That, he claimed, explained why he secretly got a vasectomy around the same time. He stated that he never wanted a relationship, let alone children with Ms. Hyttel. However, one month ago, I found that he had placed Ms. Hyttel on the deed to his Tonopah property (the one he used my money for) as his beneficiary. According to the assessor’s records, Ms. Hyttel placed him on her deed as well, the following day. Please see the proof of this that I am also supplying you. Mr. S. claims that Ms. Hyttel is a notary, and that he merely used her as a trustee, should something have happened to him when he rode his motorcycle to Sturgis for their bike week. He claims that he revoked the beneficiary status, however, has never provided me with any proof.

Your honor, April 1, 2004 was to be our 5th year anniversary. During the past 3 ½ years he has had secret phone numbers and various email addresses; obviously to keep at least 2 women controlled in some type of maniacal, love-torn relationship. He has purchased motorcycles, claiming that he’d give them to me “if I married him”. He has lied about his whereabouts constantly, and each time he is caught in a lie he adamantly denies any wrongdoing, usually blaming another person or me for “not trusting him”. His lies and empty promises have been so earth-shattering that I fear I may never recover. He has had his son and “born-again Christian” mother lie to me about his whereabouts. The thought of others being this deceitful as well, sickens me. I simply cannot put up with his antics any longer. All along I thought I could help the hurting little boy that I thought was inside this sociopath. He even went to several counseling sessions with me to “fix” our relationship! He cried to the therapists, even though they were quick enough to see right through his “crocodile tears”.

He has hurt my children, my mother, and has caused me to seek therapy. I cannot eat, sleep, or perform my job adequately. I work in a dangerous environment with high voltage electricity, poisonous chemicals, and combustible gasses. The emotional abuse he has inflicted has completely ruined any chance I have at a normal, trusting, loving relationship and I need it to STOP.

I wrongly attempted to contact Ms. Hyttel for the truth many times after I found out about her. I wanted to warn her about what he was doing….that he was “playing her” as well. She, however, chose to get a restraining order against me, probably at Mr. S. prompting, so that he could stay there without getting caught. Just the fact that Mr. S. could continually have sex with me AND THEN return home to Ms. Hyttel for more is absolutely disgusting. I am ashamed of myself that I chose to believe him and trust that he loved me for so long. Honestly, your honor, I never merely “had sex” with Mr. S. I believed that I was making love with the man that would love me AND ONLY ME forever.

Sir, after I found out about the beneficiary information, I logged onto my computer under the screen name that I had provided Mr. S. at my home. I then found that he had been on the computer, searching for various “poisons”. This petrifies me. Not only for my family’s safety, but also for Ms. Hyttel, since Mr. S. would definitely benefit from her demise. He has made it quite clear that the only way he can succeed at anything and appear to be something that he is not, is to take advantage of a woman. He has wanted the “best of both worlds” and I refuse to let him have the best of mine any longer.

Mr. S. has at least one gun that I know of. He has shot it off before, trying to make me believe that he shot himself. I cannot express how emotionally debilitating this whole thing has been….the man that I thought fulfilled every dream has turned my world into a nightmare, and won’t quit coming around, calling, leaving notes, gifts and flowers, still professing his love for me. He masks his cruel intentions by fixing my pool, helping with various home repairs, and acting as if he really cares about my welfare. He even slept at the hospital all night on December 9, 2003 when I had spinal surgery. He is very good at appearing honest….it is just that everyone in my circle knows different and has been warning me about him even before he kicked me out of our home.

Your honor, I simply cannot handle this any longer. I fear for my safety…emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. I believe that Mr. S. is a danger to himself and to those around him. I cannot protect any woman he gets involved with next, but have to concentrate on protecting myself, my family and the belongings I have worked so hard for.

PLEASE, I implore you, grant me this order of protection. Please see to it that Mr. S. stays away from me and my loved ones. I can’t believe that I am crying as I type this, but this is a very hard thing for me to do. I somehow believed all along that “love would conquer all” and that I would finally have the soul-mate that I waited so long for. Now it is evident that Mr. S. is a “wolf in sheep’s clothes” and will do everything possible to empower himself, sadly at the cost of others.

Please keep Mr. S. from checking my mail (my income tax check is missing and I suspect he has taken it). Please prohibit him from calling, emailing, checking up on me at work, and harassing my family. Please restrain him from harassing any new beau I might attract.

Please help me find closure. My heart needs to heal, and I need to be able to love again.

Thank you.


WE CAN ALL HEAL. I am walking through the pain right now and will come out the other side stronger because of it!

[Mentorn]

I am writing from the production company Mentorn, makers of shows like 'Question Time' and '30 Minutes', where we are developing a programme about living with the disorder of compulsive lying.
I am looking at learning the struggles of what it is like being in a relationship with a compulsive liar. How does a marriage situation continue with the bonds of trust broken down? What is at the bottom of the lying and what causes the partner to keep doing it?
If some of these questions are issues you are dealing with, please contact me, in confidence at WYates@mentorn.tv

I look forward to hearing from you,
Will Yates

[SadderButWiserGirl in KY]

I am reading a book that all women need to read, especially those who have been duped by romantic liars. It's called Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying and it's written by Sally Caldwell. This book does not make the female victims feel as if they are to blame for what has happened to them. The author lays the blame squarely at the feet of the Liar! The book was published in 2000 and I don't think it's in print any longer, but you can get it from your public library. If your library doesn't have a copy, they can get it for you through Interlibrary Loan. It will help you deal with what you've gone through with your romantic liar if you've been a victim and it may help you to see a romantic liar for what he is before you are hurt if you've been unfortunate enough to come across one.

[Louby]

Dear ohiomim1234

Today I wrote out emails to all my friends from my university telling them that I am a compulsive liar. I am going to my doctor this afternoon and I am going to tell him about the wonderful person i created when I went to university - a girl created in moment, who had no forthought involved in her creation - and about how i lived as her for six months, fabricating, as you did, phonecalls, friendships and life incidents. I am going to tell him about the four month relationship i had with a boy i believe loved my other self, and about how i went to his family home and lied to his parents and siblings about who i was also.
I spoke to that boy today, and he believes me to be a psychopath. When i first returned home from university (i left before the truth came out) i drank a bottle of bleach in the bathroom to end my life, but was rescued by my mother.
I love every, single person who now hates me back there, and will hate me forever. Those on this forum who claim liars are manipulators who are out to hurt, I truly believe are wrong. I wanted those people to love me. they cant do that now, especially my boyfriend who was the love of my life. I truly believe you and i just wanted PEOPLE, and the world that you create when you lie is your own, and for that MOMENT, the most wonderful place in the universe, because you are re-born.

[ickle me]

is he seeking any help for this? i see your point some people would say leave him cos hes lied from the start of your relationship but u love him and im guessing u want to help him, ask him if he can remember when his compulsive lying began and if he knows what triggerd it, it is a form OCD ( obsesive compulsive disorder) so it is treatable but those are the first questions that any specialist would ask him so they can get to the root of the problem.

[ickle me]

the above post is meant for snow queen

[helloooooooooo]

I have known a few pathological liars over the years, and i find them pretty easy to spot after talking to them a few times. Most of the time they seem to be insecure about something, but are generally nice people. You might be in for alot of headaches with this guy not knowing when he's telling teh truth or not.

[SadderbutWiserKY]

People truly care about other people, not for who they say they are, but who they really are. I still care deeply about the guy who lied to me, despite the lies, and I want desperately for him to admit to himself that there is a real problem and for him to get help. The things that he lied to me about had no impact on how I felt about him up to the point that I found out that he was lying. The tales that he told to impress me were completely unnecessary because I already admired the person that I was spending time with, not the words that he was saying. I guess you could say that I cared about him despite all of the tales. People will care for you as the person that you really are; you don't need to make up a persona. You are worth loving already-the real you, that is! Don't short-change yourself by falling into the trap of lying to impress. You have the opportunity to change or to continue living a lie. By admitting what you have done, you've made a first step in the right direction. Your next step is to learn to love and forgive yourself. Please don't give up!

[Dawn]

i dated a "compulsive liar" for 5 years....we were very young when we first started dating...i was 14 and he was 15. i didn't notice the lying until about a year...i guess i REALLY got to know him...and by then it was too late, i was in love with him. this boy's parents didn't pay any attention to him...and when they did pay attention to him it wasn't good things...his dad had a horrible temper and would cuss him out all the time. his mother tried to treat him right but, he treated her the same way his dad did...which was with absolutely no respect. they called her fat and cussed her all the time...i would dread the holidays...i couldn't stand to be around them, his dad was obsessed with keeping their house clean, his wife was terrified of him and you could tell it...things have gotten better for them..since they have gotten in church...well, i dated this liar for what seemed like forever...we faught all the time, mostly over his lies and lack of respect...(which he inherited from dear ol' dad...) he is worse than ever now...he constantly lies...and well, i had all i could take...i got away from him for good...and met and married a good man who has never said a mean word to me. i haven't spoke to the liar since november...and still yet i can't seem to get him off of my mind. this past summer i started seeing my now husband, and i sorta bounced back and forth between them the whole summer. i finally came to the point where i was so confused and didn't know what to do. i sat down and thought of who i would have a better life with..and i married the nice guy. i still can not seem to get the liar out of my head. it kills me when i see him...and i can not seem to throw away old pictures of him and things that he got me...i just can seem to let it go! i don't know why! he was sooo mean to me, and seemed like he didn't even care anymore but, yet when i would break up with him, he'd bawl his eyes out...i just don't understand him. he admitted to me, to my family he had a problem with lying..and we even got him help....but, it wasn't long b4 he was back to his old ways...i had to give up at some point, no matter how much i loved him...i couldn't waste the best years of my life fighting over his silly lies and stories he would make up.....now that i'm married to someone the total opposite of this guy i can't believe i put up with all of that....i still think of the liar...and i don't even know why i would want to...after everything he has said and done...i guess you never forget your first love...i sure wish i could...i just don't know how...at times i feel like calling him or i wish i would've married him instead...and i know that is crazy! for some reason i only remember all of the good times and not the bad...i just wish i could get him out of my mind b/c i know he is no good for me.....