He can't bathe himself at twelve-years of age? I suspect...GAH CAROLINA! *repeatedly stabs*
damn --- i didnt even think that this could happen --- i live with my 9 years old nephew and he has been bathing himself since 7! If he has a problem he simply says it to his mother --- and if it was because of him not doing something right -- she just explain to him what to do----- and he has been doing good---again he started at 7! Please just put yourself in your sons shoes --- would u have liked someone to bath u at twelve? worst would u have wanted a person of the opposite sex thats merely 5 or less years older than u bath u? Thats just sick and crazy! I guess u go and smell his thing to see if its washed properly or not --- ...my GOD! what r u doing to your son?! You are ruining his life! STOP IT before he hates u!
I think the original postee is being a bit insensitive. I wonder whether this is because, like many women - including myself - she is holding down a busy job and some things seem more practical than others....
However, there is no way a boy of 12, who has told you that he doesn't want to be bathed by a stranger, should be forced to do so. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. His personal wishes about his body must be respected. Whether or not some 12 year old boys are as mature as some 12 year old girls etc - how would the original postee have liked to be bathed by a person of the opposite sex at age 8, 10, or 12!
Your boy is growing into a man - this process must be assisted - not demeaned.
I don't see what the problem is for a 12 year old boy to be supervised during a bath. Your son needs to realize that he is being selfish by defying you in this issue, so get a babysitter. He needs to understand that girls wont tell each other about what they see, and even if they do, it's not like they're lying. Big or small, your son is what he is, and the sooner he understands, the better for his maturity.
My mom stopped bathing or supervising me during my bath when I was 8, 12 is way too old. I think everyone will agree that by at least age ten, that your son should be able to bathe himself. By age twelve, you should have considered unsupervised baths for your son.
What age did your parents allow you to take a bath alone?
Just a few items. If the boy is complaining about itching/irritation - have him seen by a doctor. You also need to get informed about uncircumsized boys; up until mid-puberty, the foreskin has not separated fully from the glans and should NEVER be "forced back." I was bathed by my babysitter until I was 10 (she must have been about 17 then). She was my babysitter from the time I was almost 7, and I was quite used to her giving me a bath.
I agree with others that by 12, a boy SHOULD be able to bathe/wash himself properly, but I also know that there are many who don't, don't know how, or just don't care. I would think that having to be bathed by a girl not much older than himself would be a pretty powerful stimulus for your son to start doing a better job of washing himself. If not, then I would say go with the older/oldest girl as they would not have social contact in school.
I have recently taken a 3rd shift job that requires me to put my son in the care of a babysitter. My 12 year old son immediately said that he didn't want the babysitter to give him a bath. ...... The babysitter I have is 15 years old, and is a very responsible young lady. There is also a 14 year old girl down the street, and a 17 year old two blocks away.
What do you think I should do, and which would be the best babysitter? What age range do you consider best for his modesty, he is 12.
Would you want a 15 to 17 year old boy sitter to bathe your 12 year old daughter?
It would be totally different for your own girl and boy children to see each other naked (or to bathe together) if they had been raised to that age to accept sibling nudity as normal and healthy.
I think there is a different standard for boys and girls when it comes to baths. A girls should always be able to bathe herself and have privacy by age 9, and who in their right mind would feel comfortable with a male babysitter? Boys by nature develop slower than girls, so I see no problem with a male or female babysitter bathing a boy at age 11. Sometimes growing boys need a snap back to reality in the form of embarrassment or punishment that will make them realize that they need to be comfortable with their bodies no matter how humiliating the experiance may be. Nothing will get his attention better than a babysitter he knows from school that can tell other girls about every little part of his body.
I was hurt in a snowmobile accident at age 16 and had to have my mom give me a sponge bath because of casts for nearly 6 weeks. It was super embarassing and time went on, I got more "horny" simply because of no relief. I could not even pee by myself (standing) as I could not hold it because of casts so mom would take me into the bathroom and sit me on the stool after pulling down my pants. I have a 13 year sister who always wanted to "help" but mom said no (good thing too). However one morning I work up after a wetdream and sis had to bathe me before school...
I think 12 years old is too old for a 14 year old to bathe.
That is way too old for a boy to be bathed by even his mother, much less a babysitter. By age eight I was able to be naked in the bathtub by myself, and I now even think that was too old. I would have been mortified if my mom was able to see me as I began puberty. I think it would be irresponsible for any parent to force a child to let them bathe them in a state of full undress.
Joined: 14 Aug 2006 Posts: 13180 Location: City of Angels
Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:03 pm Post subject:
Let him take his own bath he is 12! I think if any of these girls would be a bad idea as a "babysitter" they are children themselves and it would be really embarrasing for your son to have to get undressed in front of any of them.
Dang! I know I would be fully humiliated if my mom, or any other girl would give me a bath. Just the thought of a female seeing your most private areas makes me blush. The last time my mom ever saw me naked was about three years ago when I was 10, and from then on I was never seen in the buff by her eyes.
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 9:45 am Post subject: Re: Babysitter giving bath
Hi there,
It sounds like your son may feel embarrassed because the babysitter is only 3 years older than him so I gues that may be a factor of his reluctance. You could try seeing if he'd be comfortable with the 17 year old girl to babysit and bath him. I sometimes was bathed by a babysitter at 12 but she was 18. I wasn't embarrassed but then she was older and a college student. Alternatively, you could give your 12 y.o. son a bath at somepoint before the babysitter arrives - I remember when there were a couple of occasions when Claire's (our babysitter's) 15 y.o. sister sat for us where Mum bathed me before she arrived.
It may be an idea to discuss these options with your son and see what you both agree on.
Nicholas
CarolinaMom wrote:
I have recently taken a 3rd shift job that requires me to put my son in the care of a babysitter. My 12 year old son immediately said that he didn't want the babysitter to give him a bath. I had been giving him his bath about two weeks earlier, but he wanted to take his own bath. After three or so days I noticed that he wasn't washing very well, so I threatened grounding him and taking away his t.v. if he didn't let the babysitter give him a bath. The babysitter I have is 15 years old, and is a very responsible young lady. There is also a 14 year old girl down the street, and a 17 year old two blocks away.
What do you think I should do, and which would be the best babysitter? What age range do you consider best for his modesty, he is 12.
Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:21 am Post subject: Parents Bathing Kids
Hi Britbabe,
While I think that a 15 year old babysitter is too young to bathe a 12 year old boy I can definately relate to some Mums giving their 12 y.o. sons a bath. I'm from the U.K. too and while I generally bathed myself from the age of 8 myself, once a week I needed Mum to shampoo and wash my hair while I was in the tub. She also bathed me at the same time bacause I wasn't all that thorough when bathing myself so this continued until I was 13 when she suggested I bath myself all the time. Now, okay, at 13 I can understand why you may think that I was rather old to have Mum still bathing me while I was in year 8 of secondary school but it wasn't embarrassing and it just wasn't a big deal to me either as Mum saw me naked lots of times too. And - once I did bathe myself at 13 I did a very good job! I think Mum did the right thing bathing me until 13 but I wouldn't have admitted it to my classmates at school though!! I started puberty properly around 13 or so.
Now as I've mentioned in another post on this thread I have been bathed by an 18 y.o. female babysitter when I was 12 and I don't recall being embarrassed by it. I think had the babysitter been a 15 or even 16 year old and still at school i may have felt a little self conscious if she'd seen my naked body.
Nicholas
BRIT BABE wrote:
Let him take his own bath he is 12! I think if any of these girls would be a bad idea as a "babysitter" they are children themselves and it would be really embarrasing for your son to have to get undressed in front of any of them.
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...my GOD! what r u doing to your son?! You are ruining his life! STOP IT before he hates u!
but it wasn't embarrassing and it just wasn't a big deal to me either as Mum saw me naked lots of times too. And - once I did bathe myself at 13 I did a very good job! I think Mum did the right thing bathing me until 13 but I wouldn't have admitted it to my classmates at school though!! I started puberty properly around 13 or so.