I think it depends on the boy's maturity - physical and mental. I had a female babysitter growing up and I didn't mind her sitting in the bathroom with me while I took a bath (I didn't take to showers until I was in 9th grade or so; our old house only had a shower in my parents' room) until I was 12 or even almost 13 I think. I didn't start puberty until around 13, so I didn't have anything to hide. Plus my babysitter was around 17-18 and very nice. She didn't bathe me, but she did make sure I washed myself and saw me naked during the process. Once I started to develop I hinted I'd rather bathe alone and no one objected. So I think it's whatever is appropriate for the child.
In the original question posed here the babysitter would be 15. I think that may change my view because of the closeness in age. I was interested in girls by that time, but because my babysitter was much older (developmentally, even if only 5 years or so) she was at best a crush for me, not serious girlfriend material. (I did get "excited" on several occasions over the years, but she was nice and didn't make a big deal out of it, and even explained some things about puberty and growing up that I hadn't learned elsewhere.) But if someone I could see myself wanting to date or much closer in age at least were my babysitter, I could see that being an embarrassing situation. If nothing else, I'd be worried that she would judge me or tell her friends about it. 13 and 15 are probably too close in age.
I think your female babysitter did the right thing as I assume your parents instructed her to make sure you were doing a good job of bathing yourself. It would have been wrong for her to bathe you but watching you was fine. She had no problems seeing your nudity and was use it it plus she knows that when boys take a bath they are nude anway. I think even if you'd started puberty and she saw you naked it wouldn't have been a big deal for her. But she was fine when you requested more privacy once you began to develop.
I've babysat boys and although I've only bathed them aged 6 or under I've seen one or two boys aged 11 and 12. One one ocassion, I was bathing a 6 y.o. and his 12 y.o. brother, while nude, tells me that he usually shares the bath with his brother and he just got in the bathtub and bathed himself while I continued to help bathe his brother.
Jon K. wrote:
I think it depends on the boy's maturity - physical and mental. I had a female babysitter growing up and I didn't mind her sitting in the bathroom with me while I took a bath (I didn't take to showers until I was in 9th grade or so; our old house only had a shower in my parents' room) until I was 12 or even almost 13 I think. I didn't start puberty until around 13, so I didn't have anything to hide. Plus my babysitter was around 17-18 and very nice. She didn't bathe me, but she did make sure I washed myself and saw me naked during the process. Once I started to develop I hinted I'd rather bathe alone and no one objected. So I think it's whatever is appropriate for the child.
I'm not actually sure whether my parents gave detailed instructions regarding bath time other than to make sure I had my bath. Probably the first time she was my babysitter (I was probably 10, her 14 or so) I think she probably just told me to take my bath and followed me, and when I didn't really complain about her presence she just stayed. I vaguely remember her asking if I needed any help, and maybe she washed my back for me, but otherwise just watched as I played and then cleaned. I think early on she reminded me to clean my privates well (I soaped up standing up) but other than that she just observed.
There were a couple of times when she did in fact bathe me - I had fractured my right hand when I was 11 and it was in a cast, so it had to be put in a garbage bag while I was in the tub. So on he days when she babysat mewhile I was injured she gave me my bath. I remember being a bit more embarrassed about that - even though she had seen me nude many times before it was different to have her actually touching my body I did get an erection on several of these occasions, but she never made fun of it and just explained that it was a natural reaction and I shouldn't be embarrassed.
[quote="~Bellagurl~"]I think your female babysitter did the right thing as I assume your parents instructed her to make sure you were doing a good job of bathing yourself. It would have been wrong for her to bathe you but watching you was fine. She had no problems seeing your nudity and was use it it plus she knows that when boys take a bath they are nude anway. I think even if you'd started puberty and she saw you naked it wouldn't have been a big deal for her. But she was fine when you requested more privacy once you began to develop.
I've babysat boys and although I've only bathed them aged 6 or under I've seen one or two boys aged 11 and 12. One one ocassion, I was bathing a 6 y.o. and his 12 y.o. brother, while nude, tells me that he usually shares the bath with his brother and he just got in the bathtub and bathed himself while I continued to help bathe his brother.
I (almost 18 years old) have been babysitting for a family for several years now. They have two boys. I used to give both of them their bath (generally helping out more with the younger boy) but the older boy asked his parents if he could do it on his own a couple months after he turned 12. By the last time I did give him his bath he had started to grow a modest amount of pubic hair, although he didn't really show any other signs of puberty/physical development. (His voice maybe cracked once in a while but he didn't have much other body hair. His testicles may have started to hang a bit more but his penis was still fairly small. He did get stiff on a couple of occasions but it wasn't much longer then.) So based on my personal experience it is certainly possible for a boy to be comfortable with a female babysitter giving him a bath until at least that age.
The younger boy (now 10) at first asked why I was no longer helping his brother, but he didn't ask for the same treatment. In any case, I doubt his mother would agree - he does a terrible job in the bath. Even when she or I instruct him on how to do it by himself he will, at best, rub the bar of soap across his body once or twice. He is just not interested in it, he just prefers to play in the tub. So I have to wash him myself. The older boy was a bit better at the same age - I only helped out with bits and pieces, or when he was particularly dirty after playing sports. I have babysat for girls before and they have been able to do things for themselves anywhere from the age of 7-11. So maybe girls do mature sooner in certain ways. (Again, just based on my personal experiences.)
Me and my mother used to check my brother while he was in the shower until he was 12, just to make sure he washed himself properly, wich he didnīt always do when left unchecked. I am six years older than him and he was used to it and had no problem with it. We stopped checking him in the bath when he was 12 because he was more careful washing himself by then and no longer needed supervision and not because he was embarrassed with us seeing him naked, which he wasnīt. We still see him naked now that he is 14 and he has no problem with it. Its easier for a mother or an older sister to check the boy in the bath but if the boy trusts the babysitter and she is old enough I see no problem in her checking him in the bath until he is 12.
Me and my mother used to check my brother while he was in the shower until he was 12, just to make sure he washed himself properly, wich he didnīt always do when left unchecked. I am six years older than him and he was used to it and had no problem with it. We stopped checking him in the bath when he was 12 because he was more careful washing himself by then and no longer needed supervision and not because he was embarrassed with us seeing him naked, which he wasnīt. We still see him naked now that he is 14 and he has no problem with it. Its easier for a mother or an older sister to check the boy in the bath but if the boy trusts the babysitter and she is old enough I see no problem in her checking him in the bath until he is 12.
Wow mother and daughter to check him the 2 of you really make sure that he washed himself coudn't miss 4 eyes watching him.
May he and a friend of him can watch u when u naked under the shower, the must give u a real nice feeling i geuss!
Me and my mother used to check my brother while he was in the shower until he was 12, just to make sure he washed himself properly, wich he didnīt always do when left unchecked. I am six years older than him and he was used to it and had no problem with it. We stopped checking him in the bath when he was 12 because he was more careful washing himself by then and no longer needed supervision and not because he was embarrassed with us seeing him naked, which he wasnīt. We still see him naked now that he is 14 and he has no problem with it. Its easier for a mother or an older sister to check the boy in the bath but if the boy trusts the babysitter and she is old enough I see no problem in her checking him in the bath until he is 12.
Wow mother and daughter to check him the 2 of you really make sure that he washed himself coudn't miss 4 eyes watching him.
May he and a friend of him can watch u when u naked under the shower, the must give u a real nice feeling i geuss!
Guest - I'm curious what you mean when you say you or ( ) your mom used to check on your brother. Did you watch him the whole time or just check that he was still in there? In my experience of helping various boys (and some girls) over the years while I have babysat, the few times parents suggested I just "check on" their kids wasn't very effective. I would check that they were still in the tub or shower and seemed to be washing, only to have them come out still needing further cleaning. Generally I have had to either sit with the child the whole time they were in the bath (showers less often) to see them actually do a complete effort or actually pitch in and either help them out or do the whole thing for them.
. wrote:
Me and my mother used to check my brother while he was in the shower until he was 12, just to make sure he washed himself properly, wich he didnīt always do when left unchecked. I am six years older than him and he was used to it and had no problem with it. We stopped checking him in the bath when he was 12 because he was more careful washing himself by then and no longer needed supervision and not because he was embarrassed with us seeing him naked, which he wasnīt. We still see him naked now that he is 14 and he has no problem with it. Its easier for a mother or an older sister to check the boy in the bath but if the boy trusts the babysitter and she is old enough I see no problem in her checking him in the bath until he is 12.
We washed him until he was 9. After that he washed himself but one of us usually went into the bathroom while he was soaping to remind him to wash carefully and check that he did it.
As long as reminding him worked in your case then I agree that is fine. It just hasn't worked for me before. Once a child showed interest in bathing himself or herself alone and showed they did a good job it was fine. But before then reminders weren't enough, because they tended not to do an adequate job, which meant a second trip to the tub which was too time consuming. I guess it's case by case.
One thing that is clear is that the girl in these instances (sister or babysitter - or other) has to be mature about the situation. I think boys who otherwise wouldn't have issues about being naked in front of these girls would object if they either made fun of them or tried to abuse their role or threatened to tell others about what is a personal matter. The boys should be able to trust the girl in question. Likewise the girl should not have friends over and participate in the process unless they too are suitably mature about the situation. I have had a friend accompany me at times on babysitting jobs where the parents were going to be out later than usual (more of a concern when I too was younger). But I felt she was mature enough, so she would sometimes join us in the bathroom and even help out with baths. I did have a friend once ask me if she could tag along but I got the feeling that she was just interested in seeing boys naked in the bath, so didn't allow her to come over.
. wrote:
We washed him until he was 9. After that he washed himself but one of us usually went into the bathroom while he was soaping to remind him to wash carefully and check that he did it.
The boys should be able to trust the girl in question. Likewise the girl should not have friends over and participate in the process unless they too are suitably mature about the situation. I have had a friend accompany me at times on babysitting jobs where the parents were going to be out later than usual (more of a concern when I too was younger). But I felt she was mature enough, so she would sometimes join us in the bathroom and even help out with baths. I did have a friend once ask me if she could tag along but I got the feeling that she was just interested in seeing boys naked in the bath, so didn't allow her to come over.
The only boy Iīve ever bathed was my brother so I donīt have personal experience of how boys react to being bathed by females other than close female relatives. As for my brother he would be embarrassed if an unknown woman came into the bathroom while we were checking him in the shower. Having an unknown girl in the bathroom while the boy is naked taking a shower is a very different situation from having a close female relative in there. As for my brother, other than me and my mother the only other other woman who helped him bath was my aunt. He went to her beach apartment, in summer, when he was 10, 11 and 12 and she too used to check him in the bath while he was in there. As she is his relative he was never embarrassed by it, although he had never been naked in front of her before. He would have been embarrassed if she was not related to him.
Iīve never been a babysitter but I suppose boys 10 or older will not be embarrassed being seen naked by a babysitter whom they have known for years and has been helping them bath for years. They are accustomed to her doing that. But it would probably be difficult for a boy 10 or older to have a new babysitter, at that time almost a complete stranger to him, see him naked for the first time, while checking him in the shower.
The first time she goes in the bathroom with him, at that age, he probably will be embarrassed about undressing in front of her. My brother would be, at that age.
All of this discussion has been about sisters bathing brothers or girl baby sitters bathing boys. Seems like most of you support those actions. Would it be any differerent if it was about brothers bathing sisters or boy baby sitters bathing girls? Why or Why Not?
Wow - this seems to be a really active topic. The last time that I'd been bathed by my Mum was when I was 12 and I wasn't embarrassed or anything about it. I was chatting to Mum the other week about the ages that kids do things themselves today compared with 20 years ago when I was 12 and bathing came up. She couldn't exactly remember the reason why she stopped when she did but thought it may have been when she noticed my pubic hair sprouting.
I think I'd have been embarrassed if I'd have had a female babysitter bathing me but with Mum I just thought nothing of it.
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) your mom used to check on your brother. Did you watch him the whole time or just check that he was still in there? In my experience of helping various boys (and some girls) over the years while I have babysat, the few times parents suggested I just "check on" their kids wasn't very effective. I would check that they were still in the tub or shower and seemed to be washing, only to have them come out still needing further cleaning. Generally I have had to either sit with the child the whole time they were in the bath (showers less often) to see them actually do a complete effort or actually pitch in and either help them out or do the whole thing for them.
