16 and getting married

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:13 am Post subject: 16 and getting married

My 16 sister is going to get married to her 17 year old bf! She gave birth to her son last week but now my mum has said that she will give her consent for them to get married!

I'm not to bothered because they have a baby together now but they have only been together for 11 months! I feel like they don't know each other well enough and why rush into things?!

What do you think about it?

macie · Guest

I guess each to their own but thinking back to when i was 16 (23 now and getting hitched in June) i wasen't naieve but definatly not ready to be married.

Having a baby doesnt grant you instant maturity. If they have just had a kid (expensive enough) a wedding is a really expensive thing....

True love may exist but i dont think you need a bit of paper (ie marriage certificate) to prove it.

JaneDoh2006 · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:28 pm Post subject:

I think you are right to be worried,your mother wants them married because she doesn't want the stigma of unmarried mother hanging over her daughter,I feel 16 and 17 is too young to know your own mind about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.It sounds like something from the 1900's ,people mature much later nowadays.Who is going to support them?Have you talked to the parents of the boy,what do they think?

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:33 pm Post subject:

When I spoke to my sister she told me that you don't care if she don't get married in a church. She doesn't want a big wedding!

My mum pays for them! He works but my mum pays for all my sisters things!

I'm only 17 and i'm out working all week whilst my sister stays at home with her baby.

And there getting a flat next month whilst I have to save up to get one! Evil or Very Mad

JaneDoh2006 · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:44 pm Post subject:

so is your mum going to keep paying for your sisters things after they get married and move to a flat?I don't think your sister has thought this through

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:02 pm Post subject:

Sadly hun, its all too common.

I work dam hard for what i have and wouldent change my life. But often think i would have got far more help if I had dropped at a school to have a couple of kids at 16 and not bothered working - the state seems to like girls doing that.

azraelle · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

My oldest brother's wife was 15 when they were married back in 1959 (she finished 2 years of High School after they were married). Six children later, and marriage is still as strong as it ever was. It CAN happen.

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

To be honest JaneDoh2006 I think my sister has thought I though loads. Get mum to feel sorry for me then she'll pay for me for the rest of my life!

Oh well...... Thanks for the advice!

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:13 pm Post subject:

azraelle - Although I agree that it can happen, i am sure in 1959 divorce wasn’t as common, and teenage mom's were frowned upon far more by society.

I also agree with the original ladies post - her sister has probably considered it very carefully and taken the easiest route possible - today’s mentality for you.

Guest · Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:29 pm Post subject:

to be honest it seems to me that more than being worried about your sister, you are jealous of what she gets "given".
would you prefer it if she and your baby niece/nephew were flung out onto the streets?
your mother helps and financially supports her because she needs that help right now, if you were in the same position your mother would probably do the same for you.
you may feel you have the hard end of the deal having to work to pay your way, but being a 16 yo old mother is no walk in the park either!
admitedly your sister made the choices that resulted in here being in her situation, but then you have also made choices.
just try and support your sister and be glad that she has the support of your mother, rather than resenting her.

Guest · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject:

shes too young to get married,your mother is not sensible

DipsyTipsy · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:08 pm Post subject:

Why does everyone think that getting married is more of a commitment than having a baby Confused

I was in the pub the other day with my friend who's girlfriend had just had their second child and when I asked if they were going to tie the knot any time soon he just laughed and said 'I'm not ready for that kind of commitment' Shocked

Am I the only one that see's that as contradictory?

Your sister has already committed herself in this relationship far more than a piece of paper can by having a baby with this boy so you mother probably thinks why not let them try and make this family work.
And in some ways I agree with her.

Guest · Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:07 pm Post subject:

having a baby out of wedlock is much easier than making a marriage between 2 teenagers work.A 16 yr old can be a mother and not be mature but it takes 2 mature people to make a marriage work

DipsyTipsy · Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:41 pm Post subject:

I'm sorry I don't agree that having a baby on your own is the easier option than at least trying to make a marriage work.
Easier for him maybe but not for her or the emotional development of the child.
If it doesn't work then fine you can say to yourself you gave it 100% but saying not to at least try says a lot about the importance people put on family values nowadays.

DipsyTipsy · Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:47 pm Post subject: