Sex life after Kids

[Francis]

Mums when did the passion returned to your relationship? My hubby wanted to wait for the 6 week check (although I had no stitches, rips or tears) and now that has been and gone still makes no move towards me. I feel very unattractive to him and have even said as much. He told me that he still fancied me and was worried about me getting pregnant again. So, I went out and bought some condoms. This still has not helped. I have an appointment at the Dr's for the implonon stick to be inserted in my arm so that contraception is taken care of. Funny thing is, before I got pregnant we didn't use any form of contraception for 4 years! I just don't seem to "do it" any more for my DH. I have tried to seduce him and always seem to make the first move towards sex but I have been brushed off (very very hurtful) and told that he is too tired. What does he think I am with a small baby to look after but I still want him. I do know that he feels horny at times because he masterbates (don't ask me how I know that I just do!!!)

Sorry if this is a subject not normally raised here but I really need some advice. I don't want to talk to my friends about it as they are too close and I don't want to talk to the Dr either. Just some friendly advise and to know what happens in other relationships would help.

[peter83]

Want a reply from a Dad?

Unfortunately this is the effect that children have on a relationship. Our first was 7 years ago and I think that neither of us was particularly into sex after he was born. There were a couple of other pressures at the time which also killed the atmosphere. It wasn't anything which either of us had done, or not done - it's just the way it goes.

In time we got back into sex. And it goes in phases too. Sometimes we have sex a lot, other times is days on days without. Kids are very demanding and many nights we start to think about going to bed to sleep at nine!

And then the other night, we were both in the mood, but the little ones kept playing up at bedtime. We both got a bit cross with each other and that killed it too.

I think eventually you'll get back together. Just don't make a big deal out of it as I think that will make a 'small' problem bigger. You just need to be a bit patient I'm afraid.

[Guest]

Peter says it all..its normal its just life. but it will get better