2 yo grandson

[Grann]

My grandson is 2 and since he was 1 1/2, he has bad temper tantrums (not to mention he probably gets this from his mother's temper and she even admits this). He will lay on the floor, bang his head, and gets extremely mad at such at a young age. Yesterday I was watching him while they went shopping, I told him to close a door and he started crying and pouting, ran out of the room, got out of the back door before I could get to him. They just bought deadbolt locks to put on every door that you need a key to unlock as he gets away in a flash and they have a pool.
My d-in-law is about to pull her hair out. Two days ago his banana broke in two and he threw it across the room. She made him pick it up and throw it in the rubbish bin. He then proceeded to turn the bin over. She spanked him and he started hitting her. This a child that won't be 3 until September. I am trying to find some good books for her to read. Her doctor says this is "normal" behavior but I'm not sure he knows the extent of his behavior.

I feel so sorry for her. He has had many ear infections since he was born and isn't talking real good yet and isn't potty trained but he does go sometimes. I don't know if this behavior has anything to do with either of these but her doctor said all the ear infections would slow him down in talking. He has tubes in his ears.

She is a very good mother but doesn't know what to do anymore. I am seriously thinking she needs to talk to her doctor again and tell him the latest episode. Would a child psychologist help or will he just outgrow this behavior? Is this "normal" behavior?

[Bubbles78]

Most would say yes it can be normal behaviour and he might be going through the terrible two's .... a stage where he is finding himself, finding how far he can push others and generally getting frustrated with all the emotions he feels but doent yet know how to control or express.

Our two year old is very head strong .... just like me probably! She has her moments and when she has a tantrum, runs away, really acts naughty etc ... we sit down & hold her quite tight to restrain her ... she will get angry & a bit upset and even try as hard as she can to escape, but gradually she will clam down and once she has settled we talk to her to let her know what she did wrong then let her go once calm. We don't hit her as we believe this isnt the right way to go ... if another adult upset you or behaved in a bad manor would you hit them, lashing out at a child can send the wrong message: of being ok to hit and can lead them to respond to others by hitting which by the sounds your grandson already is?

You obviously have access to the internet, look on line for more information on how to work with a toddler and bad behaviour?