Potentially pregnant girlfriend, need someone to talk to

[PurpleSmurf]

First, let me say that I'm not looking for opinons on whether or not aborting or carrying is the right decision. My girlfriend and I have talked about this already (she missed her period for two weeks last summer for no apparent reason), and we've decided that we will abort if she ever become pregnant before we are ready to raise children. So all you pro-lifers, thank you for the thought, but don't tire your fingers.

I'm 11 days from being 19 and college bound, as is she. We are not sure yet, her period isn't due for about another two weeks, but we had a scare about two weeks ago -- Protected sex in the shower, but she wanted me to come on her and I forgot to turn off the water, so there's a chance some semen may have managed to enter her vagina. We immediatly inserted a VCF (vaginal contriceptive film) and "swabed" up to her cervix with the spermicide inside an un used condom. Just in case.

However, despite all that, she is beginning to develop a bit of a belly, just atop the lower abdominals. It's not fat, since she's begun to work out more and is firm to the touch.

I'm here because I cannot voice my concerns to her just yet, at least not without inciting a panic. She stresses out easily thanks to her high anxiety, so I'll have to wait until after we take a pregnancy test / miss a period to really open up to her.

I need information, really -- the cost of abortions, if I'm just being stupid about this, what to expect.

Please, anything will be nice to hear.

[The-Prophet]

My advice, see a doctor.

[Sweetone07]

Well anything can happen. I personaly do not beleive in abortions, but don't dislike people that do...it's your decision. There is a chance that she COULD be preagnant but most women don't even start gaining weight until the second trimester. I would waite 2 weeks when her period is due to see if she misses or not. If she has it, you're prob. fine, if not, get a pregnancy test. I hope I've helped you somewhat, I know you're prob. very scared. If this makes you feel any better I'm only 16 and found out I'm a month preagnant (didn't even know that) 3 days ago. My parents are taking it fine and are very supportive. I've been with my b/f (the dad) for 2 1/2 years and he's 20. He's excited about the baby, but me..I'm scared shitless. I'm still in highschool and he's in college!! It'll be hard, but we both decided to raise the baby. Adoption was a big option but i couldn't handle the fact of not knowing where my baby is and what's happening to him/her. Plus, 18 years down the road it is going to suck when my child locztes me and ask "why" ...."why did I give him/her up." But....I hope I was somewhat of a help....for your sake, Ill pray that she isn't. Good Luck! I really do feel for you.

[eunce]

Let me just say this. I know you are trying to be supportive, but if she is pregnant, just let her decide for herself. Do not pressure her into it. I say this because I was always pro-choice until I got pregnant. I had always thought that it would be easy to have an abortion if I wanted to. But when I got pregnant, I just couldn't have an abortion. I booked in for it and everything, but at the last minute I just walked out. I am so glad that I didn't have a boyfriend there pressuring me into it. I am not saying that you would do that, and maybe your girlfriend would be happy to have an abortion, and she is probably not even pregnant, but just don't push her into anything.

[st_ignatius110]

Well, I won't wear out my fingers typing this...lol...but I do need to say this about abortion.

Women are not told that there may be mental and emotional problems that happen to them because of abortion. Many women are depressed and some even suicidal. I am not saying this to be scary or anything like that but it is the truth.

The other problem I see is the link doctors and scientists have been making with abortion and breast cancer. Women with no history of breast cancer in their families are getting it and the only link is abortion. Has to do with the way the breast are formed and respond to the released estrogen during pregnancy.

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. I know it is ya'll choice...I think women should be able to make their own choice. I just also think they should be well informed of all their options and all the possible results.

[Pinky05]

Hey dude, just wanted to stick up for u a lil as i can see that no one listened to the tire ur fingers out msg. I get that ur probably terrified coz ive been in that sorta situation before (bf and i are both turning 19 soon - so we age with u and ur gf and know how u feel)....anyways, i just have to say that it is so v unlikely that ur gf is pregnant coz think about the logistics of it - if the cum had run down her stomach still in the waterflow - its not going to change direction and start going back up the way toward her vagina is it?...however, i get that ur prob freakin out (even tho honestly u dnt have to) so for ur info...an abortion changes in cost depending on how far along she is..if she is only a month or so then it'll b less - it costs for a consultation and then the procedure - can b between 200-300 quid (based on the marie stopes foundation)

Just a thought - why doesnt she go on birth control...ive bn takin it for ages - no problems, fantastically trustworthy and u have that added bonus of total spur of the moment sex ... any more questions or queries let me know

[P_1984d]

If you guys are silly enough to get pregnant, I suggest you just deal with it. Its your problem, you caused it, so I suggest you face up to the consequences of your mistake!