CL

[ConfusedandLost]

I am new here. I was doing research as well about compulsive liars because I have recently recognized being close to a compulsive liar. I just ended a two year relationship with a man whom I still love and will continue to love forever.

When we first began our relationship it was like a fairytale, I could not ask for anything more. Even the way we met and how things fell in place it was like destiny. And his feelings are so genuine I believe....

In the beginning he would always bullshit with me and it bothered me and I told him to stop. He said he would. I did not know what several months later I would begin to see he was a compulsive liar. Here is his backround. He lost his mother when he was very young and his father tended to be abusive and not a good role model in his life. His father than remarried a lady who played mom for many years but was not very good to him. I think my ex has felt rejected his whole life and lost. I believe this has triggered his lying problems. He is now in his twenties and can not really hold down a job, or pay his bills. He doesnt even have a place to live right now because he owes so much in rent. I feel bad cause of his struggles, but his lying has brought him to this down fall in his life. I think he has realized he cant be this way. He has been in therapy before when he was young, but apparently that wasnt good enough. He insists he will go back to work on things to get his life straightened out. Since we broke up though, he still has lied to me, I suppose thats the CL. Although most of the things are tiny lies, he has had a big lie which was saying he would be inheriting money from his mother who passed. He kept saying the money was going to help him out to straighten out his life. Now I learn there is no money....That money was what was going to help him he said, now I dont know what hes going to do, but hopefully seek professional help.

I just do not know how to handle this situation. I love him dearly and want to be with him someday down the road. I am supportive of him and I dont want to leave his side through his struggles, but my family thinks I am crazy. They say he is sick and will never change. I just dont know what the odds are for improvement. I just am so lost, and depressed almost over this. I cry every night, I think about him all the time and am literally so unhappy with life without him. Although I do realize for the time being this is the right thing to do and that he needs to work on his issues. But what I want to know is can someone like this truly change? Or should I move on with my life.....Any advice would help greatly.

[Angela7174]

Hi ConfusedandLost: You are not alone. There is another thread on this forum called "Compulsive Liar" - it is about 8 pages long right now and receiving alot of current posts from both compulsive liars and their victims. My CL b/f is currently in treatment (as am I) and I have definitely seen some progress. If treatment is not an option I have seen posts that recommend a book called "Liar's Revelation" by Karl A. Walsh (I just ordered it on Amazon.com). Come and join us on the other thread - you will learn alot and get some support. Hope this helps. Take care.

Angela