Moving4ward Hello. I am New! Talk to Me
Joined: 17 Apr 2005 Posts: 15 Location: Scotland
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 12:34 pm Post subject: Just Cant let go |
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Hi All
I was in 6 year relationship, it was great. He wasnt only my boyfriend he was my best frend and my soul mate. We genuinely had a great relationship. We were like 2 peas in a pod. All within one month he asked to get engaged, we went to buy a our own house together, he showered me with gifts for my birthday and then we went away to Paris. We had a ball and he promised we would go back next year.
3 days later he finished it all, Just saying he didnt want to be with me anymore but he didnt want to live without me he just wanted time on his own but didnt want me to wait. He kept saying he didnt know why he was doing this to me and he knew one day he would regret it. He wouldnt look at me or touch me. He spoke a little about person problems that i didnt have a clue about, he got himself into a lot of debt, he was so ashamed he couldnt afford xmas gifts, since having his own car it was money and more problems one after another, and he was getting picked on his work. He was a very proud guy so i could understand why this would effect him. He did have a lot of younger friends who were all single that all looked up to him, my ex felt he always had to live up to what they expected of him, so i could imagine they too had a big influence on the split. The only other thing i could say might have been why when we were coming home from Paris he said on the coach "its been great getting away from all our debts and phone calls eh" i agreed but never piked up on it this was maybe my sign for him asking for help, but apart from that we genuinely had a great relationship.
I was more concerned about how down he was, he just wasnt himself. I honestly believed that he just needed time on his own to sort himself out and we would get back together. I wrote him a letter not nipping his head just telling him i was there for him and that i still loved him, i sent one text saying i was thinking of him, and an xmas card but i never once got a reply. I was heart broken, i was nothing without him. If he seen me in the town he would just blank me. Then a month and a bit later he got a new girlfriend. I was devestated. I couldnt eat, sleep or think straight.
It took me a while but i did learn to accept it. Im not over it dont think i ever will get over it as i will never be able to forget the hurt. But i got on with my life. And what a diference my lfe now is i have achieved so much that i would never have done if i was still with him. I got a promotion at work, im taking driving lessons i have my test in 6 weeks, i take care of my appearence now, i have so much more confidence and self esteem, and have a great social life.
But its just not the same without him, not a day goes by when i dont think of him. I just dont understand why you can be so close to some one then next thing you know you dont even look at one another in the street. I dont understand how you can move on so quickly. I miss him terribly and often does he feel the same but it must be easier for him as he has the new girlfriend. Do guys ever realise they have made a mistake?? Friends and family often tell me to go get myself a new man but is that far on the new man if i still constantly think of my ex is that fair if i did meet a new man.
Its been 5 months since the split!
People often say i live in the past i genuinley dont belive that i have got on with my life but i do feel the past lives in me.
Im soo sorry i was only ment to write a little and have ended up writing a novel, i look forward to hearing from you all
x
Last edited by Moving4ward on Sun Apr 17, 2005 1:53 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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