The spark between us is gone !!

Lucienne · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:09 am Post subject: The spark between us is gone !!

hi everyone.

i've been with my boyfriend for a year now. i still love him. but the *spark* there was between us, seems to have gone away and i don't know why... is it cos' now we know everything so well about each other??

i m 19. he is 22 turning 23. i remember our first days. i used to be so energetic about meeting him and everything, and even when we gone out, we used to be so happy and to have so much fun!!! but now everything is just ..like normal... i mean just like meeting someone normally.. -just .. - no SPARK!! why? is this normal??

Lady racer · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:50 am Post subject:

probably time to move on if the fun has gone . I mean it cant be hyper all the time but you need some fizzle when you see your guy

fan · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:39 am Post subject:

if the sparkle has gone after just one year how are you going to be after 10....? think you need to discuss with him whether its the same for him and if so either try get some of it back or move on

Lucienne · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 5:36 pm Post subject: yeah but i cant

yeah.. i could talk to him as u said but i don't wanna lose him cos i love him.

it's just the spark that is missing!!

do u need some *spark* in a love relationship??

please help

fan · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 6:55 pm Post subject:

of course you need spark otherwise you turn into brother/sister relationship and wheres the fun in that

P_1984d · Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:42 pm Post subject:

I think all relationships fizzle out after a certain point. If you want to get things back to the way they were, it will take time and effort. Why dont you spend some time apart and see if you miss each other madly, maybe the time apart will make the love you have grow fonder?

EmmaH · Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 9:23 pm Post subject:

Sounds like you guys lost your intimacy. If that is the case try to get it back spike up your love life a bit and the spark more often than not comes back...speaking from past experience

Lucienne · Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:59 am Post subject: thank-s

yes we often triend to spend 2 days apart. what happenend wad that we both missed each other... after 2 days there was this *Spark* but two days later it was gone again. we meet every single day. at the begining it used to be so sparkly but now - NONE!!

ps: my boyfriend hyas a low sex drive i think. we only have sex once a week or sometimes once in ten days or even once a fortnight only!! i have a high sex drive- i want to do it everyday Smile

Pia · Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:21 pm Post subject:

You can try to wear sexy dress seduce him a little bit. Do you know how to belly dance? Speak in sexy voice, whisper something naughty to his ear. See what happens. Wink

EmmaH · Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject:

If he has a low sex drive, play some sex games make him curious about trying to try new things...i guess you can try to make him feel sexy so he can be sexual arroused..

Pink Blues · Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 8:03 am Post subject:

Okay...let me tell you a story....

...in the beginning there was man and he was lonely so he asked the great creator to send him a friend...the creator said "alright man, you got it" and he gave man a woman. Man was very excited to not be alone...and he like the looks of woman. She was curvy where he was straight, she soft when was he rough, she wasn't and hairy and man saw that, that was good.

Woman looked at man and saw rough were she was silky and quiet when she liked to yap, and strong where she was weak.

They really liked how different they were. It was beautifully different from what they were individually. The couldn't get enough of how great it was to touch this new person. The differences were mystical and magical and very thrilling. The sex was brand new and different from what they had experienced before...their bodies felt new and good. They thought how wonderful it was to spend so much time w/ this other person and they couldn't imagine these intense feelings ever disappearing....this feeling they called "love".

...in six months suddenly it dawned on man that he didn't have those same feelings. The excitement just wasn't there...no thrill...and the new had worn off especialy the sex.

Woman thought that they loved each other but now...it just didn't feel the same. They must not love each other or there must be something wrong.
She started to question man all the time about what was wrong...he always said nothing was wrong. "Then why don't we talk me?" woman said. Man got tired of being asked these questions and started to spend more time in the garden pulling weeds...and hoped like hell she would get a hobby.

Woman and Man just couldn't understand why they felt different...they still loved each other...but it just felt different.

Reality: Man/Woman upon first meeting had a huge hormonal surge that initially attracted each other and made freak like bunnies ... this is called procreation...and it is what keeps the human race going. The hormones serve create an initial bond. During this time Man/Woman called it love...and it is a the first level of love...and it can last any where from 3 months to 3 years...but eventually all good feelings must come to an end.

The next level is called REALITY. It is when all those things that you ignored in stage 1 start to irritate you. Your Partner gets dumped off the pedestal and is seen for the mega human they are. This where you truly learn the meaning of love. Love...reality based love isn't all *spark* and hormonal highs...it is day to day living...it just isn't new anymore and you start to realize it takes work to be together...you have to start barganing and paying attention to each others needs...and it just isn't as fun.

What you are experiencing is NORMAL relationship stuff. You want spark...you gotta make *spark*. Verbal foreplay, games, hotels, phone sex, naughty letters, sexy clothes...etc...as well as, dinner, movie, chats, paying bills, making plans...shared goals. Yep...that is heading into Stage 3... Eventually you can get to stage 5 where things are back to *spark*.

I know long way of saying it right...lol. I was bored and felt like telling a story....luck you.

Take care,
Pink