Pregnant to the wrong man?

[angel505]

I’m 5 weeks pregnant to a man I’ve only known for 5 months and I’m terrified that I’ve made a big mistake. That’s basically it. (Please note that doctors told me I was infertile due to a serious vit deficiency, hence the unplanned pregnancy).
When we met (in early Nov 04) he told me he was “kinda” seeing someone but that he hadn’t seen her for months because she was travelling, he said he didn’t know what was going on between them and that she had a boyfriend whom she lived with! So he and I basically got it together, I suppose I knew it was wrong, but I’d just moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone at all, I was running from a previous relationship where my partner had been unfaithful to me after 6 years. I was hurt and fragile and he offered me lovely company and a great social life. We spend nearly every day together and slept together pretty much every night for the next month and a half (but only had sex once, I didn’t feel comfortable because of the other girl) and then one day he tells me that he’s going to spend a week in Rome with this other girl ! He left my bed the next morning and flew to Rome and slept with her on the same day and for the next week.
So I’m upset (understandably) but I didn’t really tell him so at the time.
When he gets back he comes straight back to me but he’s acting differently towards me, much more loving and caring. He tells me that its me he wants to be with, so we carry on seeing each other (what an idiot I am!).
Various things happen over the next few months that make me love him and hate him at the same time. He criticises my weight (I’m a size 12!), by doing things like patting my stomach if I eat chocolate and says “should you really be eating that?” or saying “a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips”. I honestly don’t know if he’s joking or not. Hysterical eh?
The girl he stayed with in Rome is beautiful there’s no denying it, supermodel looks, the longest blond hair and that coupled with the fact that he criticises me has made me feel ugly and fat. I’m unhappy and have no confidence now.
He’s eyed up other women while I’ve been with him and recently when I told him my breasts were getting bigger because of the pregnancy he said – wait for it… “great it’ll be like sleeping with Jordan”. So that made me feel even better.
There are loads and loads of good sides to this man, but I’m not sure if they outweigh the bad.
I get on with him better than any man I’ve ever been with and I love being with him more than anything. He admits that he’s made mistakes with me and that he’s really sorry that he’s hurt me. But I’m not sure I can forgive him or ever feel at ease with him.
My mum said to me “does he realise that you’re going to put on weight now that your pregnant?” and to be honest I don’t think I want him to see me getting bigger, I don’t think I could stand the comments.
I feel alone and terrified about being pregnant, he says he loves me and that he’s never been happier. He wants me to have the baby and for us to move in together but I don’t know how to forgive him for being so cruel about my weight and making me feel inadequate next to his supermodel ex.
My hormones are all over the place and I’m crying all the time. What should I do? Can I ever trust him?
Angel.

[Pia]

Can you tell him that it hurts your feeling when he makes that kind of joke? Apart from that joke he seems to be happy about you and the baby. My man sometimes teased me like that too but I'm pretty small. Try to communicate clearly to him how you feel and that it feels like a put down.

[angel505]

To be honest yes, I have told him and he's definately stopped teasing me about my weight now and he even says how much he loves me the way I am and that he adores me. But its still there in the background and I keep thinking that he wants to be with someone thinner.
My ex was unfaithful to me with a thin blond girl and it destroyed me, this feels like an extension of that.
Thanks for replying.
Angel

[Pia]

Angel too bad your ex was not a nice guy. Anyway, I'm sure you look great the way you are. Don't let the past keep you from enjoying what you have now. Wish you the best of luck starting a family.