Swinging

[Scarletj]

Hope this is in the right section. My bf and I have an amazing relationship but want to try something different and we are considering going to a "swingers night" while on holiday (so no one knows us!) Anyone, been to one, any advice, any pressure? Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Thanks

[scottishtightslover]

never been to one but if you are both up for it why not.

[Usquanigo]

If you haven't already gone, you should carefully consider this decision.

On the one hand it could be said that there is no harm in going and seeing what it's like. But be forewarned, chances are it will only ensure your bf will want to partake. But he may not be comfortable with you doing so. And likewise, you may not be comfortable with him doing so.

It's tough. Not many people can really do it. Married couples with truly strong bonds and enough maturity and confidence in themselves and each other can do it, and they tend to make the strongest marriages one could imagine. But couples that are on shaky ground are destined to be pulled apart by the lifestyle.

Greed and jealousy are major issues to overcome. And sometimes a couple will try it, find it's not for them, but each (or maybe just 1) will want the variety, and start to resent the other.

Make sure you talk about this first. Think long and hard if you would be comfortable with your BF having sex with another woman (with or without your presence). Find out how he would feel about you having sex with another man. Think about if you would really want to do that. Think about what it would mean to you if your BF was ok with you having sex with another man (sometimes being ok can be it's own problem).

I've been in the lifestyle, but as a single male. It's tough for us, but there's no ramifications as long as we are careful, safe, and discreet. But I've seen couples stronger than legend, and I've seen couples fall apart. I met my current gf in the lifestyle, her marriage was ruined, in part, by the lifestyle (to be honest, it was the straw that broke the camels back), and we've talked about re-entering as a couple, and neither of us is really comfortable with the thought of sharing.

If it works, it's an AWESOME thing, but it's really playing with fire. Tread carefully.