Older partner having problems with condoms please help me

Guest

I have been dated a guy 22 years old than me for the past few months the sex is brill but we are having problems with safe sex. Due to health issues i can not take the pill and he knows that from the start and is ok with it. we tend to be fine untill he has to use a condom he has no problem putting it on but within secs his dick has done south. This has happened each time we have tried in the end we have had sex and he has to pull out just before he cums or we have just cuddle and i talk to him through it and tell him dont worry it will work out. We do not want children and know this condom problem needs to be address. He gets worried about it and i think it could be that which makes it worst each time? He is also very over weight could that be an issue? He has said this has been a problem in the past with other women but he has never cared about it but with me he does not want to let me down. I dont know what to do or say to him? i have said it may just take time and i'm ok with that but the look on his face i dont think he believe me and it would become a serious issue.

Any advice is welcome xx

just some guy · Guest

The lack of sensitivity that condoms cause can be a problem so I shouldn't think you're guy is alone in this.

There are many forms of contraception other than the pill and condoms of course. Couldn't you try using a diaphragm?

Or, if you're both absolutely sure you don't want kids how about vasectomy? I had one and it's great - no worries at all. It was quick, simple and I was able to resume having sex within a couple of weeks.

Good luck.

FMJ · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:56 am Post subject:

Been there..

I had no problems with my previous partners, most of whom had been sterilised or were not fertile. Then, I met a gorgeous lady in her 40's and had to use condoms. No matter how I tried, it just didn't work out. I'd get really hard, but by the time I put it on, I was soft again.

This is a huge problem for a guy, especially if he feels deeply for the lady and wants it all to work. Even when I was hard inside the condom, it was so tight it reduced the girth and sensitivity of my C***, sex was hopless and I had to resort to oral and toys on the lady... She was ok about it and said "..don't worry" but that only makes it worse!!

Vasectomy is the only way to go, its a simple, quick and painless op. I had mine 10 months ago, and I was officially pronounced sterile after 3 months. You can have sex soon after it, but your not 'safe' until about three months have passed. Sex now (I'm 54) is better than ever it was, and I still can shoot huge cum loads like before, so that part doesn't change...

All the very best to you both...

Guest · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:48 pm Post subject:

Thank you for your advice Vasectomy sounds like the best bet for us and think it is something we will need to look at asap as i think the condom issue is getting worst on his side at least I can see he is worrying about it

Starshine · Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:41 pm Post subject:

Try using flavoured condoms. With a bit of practice you can even put them on with your mouth (and a little bit of help with your hands).

Otherwise some gent oral after the flavoured condom is put on should do the trick.

Good Luck!

Salsito · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:54 am Post subject:

Just a word of caution about Vasectomy. A friend of mine had this op years ago and over time it healed itself and along came another child!

What I'm saying is they are not 100% effective, but then what contraception is apart from abstinance.

FMJ · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:35 am Post subject:

The chances of that happening are extremely remote to the extent that is damn near impossible! If a lady becomes pregnant these days and her husband is snipped, then he needs to ask her some searching questions!!

When they cut the Vas tubes, they are then cauterised, and tied back and sealed with tissue to prevent them ever rejoining. Of course the doc will explain and cover themselves that nothing is 100%, but in reality a vasectomy done these days with modern techniques IS 100% ..and for this reason, reversal is impossible now unlike in previous years. After the op, your partner will need to wear a pair of Speedos (..really) for support day and night for a month. He experience a bit of swelling and discomfort for a bit but this will subside and then after he's clear.. your good to go for some great sex!!

Guest · Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 7:57 pm Post subject:

why should he get a vasectomy when they are only dating? the post didn't say they were married, what if it doesn't work out, and later he does wnat kids? vasectomy is permanent, as the poster above said.

Guesty · Guest

I've had problems in my relationships because of condoms i hate them , as soon as i put one on and try to have sex the erection is GONE!. They are a complete barrier for me , i tried once without a condom just quickly to feel what it was like without one and WOW!!!!.

The most amazing feeling ever , i was really shocked how much a condom can take the feeling away. I want to have sex with her vagina not a rubber bag!

About the vasectomy thats a great idea if you don't want to have kids in your life , but why destroy your chances of having kids just because of a rubber bag problem? Rolling Eyes