Is it cheating?

Lucy2008 · Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:14 pm Post subject: Is it cheating?

i no i shouldnt check up on my bf, but i cant help checking his internet history, because off all the rumors about that he has cheated on most of his girlfriends, but he promis's me that he wouldnt cheat and i believe him (due to reasons i dont really want to say).
But when i go on his history i find cyber chat rooms and cam2cam sites and other camera girl sites...i no it isnt really cheating but should i be worried? it really gets to me and makes me upset when we are having sex????? Just want to see what other people would think, please comment x

Verve · Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 10:59 pm Post subject:

You should be worried if he cheated with you and now your a couple.

just some guy · Guest

The first thing I'd say is that past behaviour isn't necessarily a predictor of future behaviour. I've been unfaithful in previous relationships but can honestly say I have absolutely no intention or desire to be unfaithful with my current partner. So people can change. I say that because I think you have to be careful to see these two things as separate issues. You say you believe he won't cheat on you so try not to confuse that with his browsing habits. It'll help you deal with it better.

Now, you say his visiting these sites is upsetting you, and that's very understandabe, so on that basis alone you need to talk to him about it. You're right to say this isn't cheating, but it's bound to make you feel uncomfortable because he is taking his sexual focus away from you, virtually at least.

Before you speak to him though, be clear on what it is that's bothering you. Is it the fact that these are camera based sites so may have some degree of interactivity? Or are you jealous that he's looking at images of other women? Or is the secretive way he's doing it the thing that bothers you?

Once you've worked this out you'll know what you're going to ask for. Do you want him to stop visiting camera sites? Do you want him to promise never to look at any porn site again? Or do you want to share some aspect of that experience with him so that it isn't secret and furtive anymore? Maybe you could suggest that rather than secretly looking at crap sites on his own, the two of you could watch some porn during your love making sometimes?

Good luck with this, it's not going to be the easiest conversation you've ever had but I hope you get a good outcome.

Lucy2008 · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject:

i dont think he would cheat on me, and i do honestly take his word for it.
I am going to try talk to him about it...soon, just got to find the right time? I just think it is jelousy, because he is looking at another girl and thinking about her and not me...sounds stupid but it really hurts ! But thank you so much! it meant so much for you to answer and say what you think, and give me ideas on what to do, and i will try talking to him! thanks x

YES!=Cheating, unless · Guest

YES! W/O Q it IS 'cheating', unless:
Unless 1 of 2 situations exist:
1. You are sucking & swallowing wilst he's at it.
or:
2. He saves ALL Loads for you ONLY!
IOW:
*Never is he 'allowed' to cum,
W/ others involved in ANY Way!
-even if just via cam; (unless you are 'part of it'.

joe310 · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject:

imo its cheating

Guest · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject:

Mr A · Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject:

Lucy2008 · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 9:29 am Post subject:

Thanks for the help, i have talked about it with him. & he confesses to it all and that he just does it when im not around to please his needs! but now he has said he will just watch porn and not talk to other girls.

Do you think i should still keep an eye on him ??

Guest · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 1:31 pm Post subject:

Up to you. It doesn't affect any of us.

repeat! · Guest