Paranoid? Jealous? WHAT DO I DO!?!?!

Princess Serena

I need to give you a little back story. me and my bf have been together for just over a year now. We've had problems before, (you may have read them on here) but they aren't normal relationship problems, we never argue or fight coz we're both so laid back, but the problems we had were that he sometimes goes really distant and doesn't want to see me and wont reply to texts because (he told me a little while ago when this happened last and i got really upset) he has bipolar disorder and when he goes through a depression phase he has trouble getting out of bed and doesn't want to see anyone. When i do see him in this phase he's quite often in tears and never knows what to do with himself.

Anyway so in this way our relationship is quite abnormal because sometimes i'm forced to give him space. I trust and love him implicitly so i know before anyone suggests this that he is not lying about this and cheating on me or anything like this.

So the problem is that now i have trouble telling when he is actually not happy and when he doesn't want to see me, and it's been happening a lot the last week or so and i don't know if it's a precursor to him breaking up with me or he's just busy (run up to exam period). I also know that i text him too much, at least once a day and i rarely get a reply (you may say that that is not too much, but for our relationship it is because i have got used to not being able to text him much for when he needs his space for the bipolar periods). I feel like he ignores my texts like i'm some kind of child who he thinks that if he justs ignores i'll go away.

Maybe i'm paranoid, i can't decide, coz i also know that i love him more than he loves me and i worry that if i didn't call or text him he wouldn't be too upset about just letting me go.

But then again i don't know if he does want to break up with or if i'm paranoid! It's so difficult, i hate it!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do! Should i just leave him alone? But then i'm really weak i don't think i can! Please help i need some opinions on what to do!!!!!!!!

Verve · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:42 pm Post subject:

Um...... Ok... You have to try to give him space. You might need some form of extracurricular activity to help with that. Personally I have issues with phones and emails. I turn the ringer off and sometimes I just look at the caller ID and I can’t be bothered to pick up. Emails ..... I don't respond to it unless it's necessary....There's about 89 in there now. I don't like to be bothered. He might not like to be bothered. But he uses bipolar as an excuse, or is it?? If you want to know his true feelings, Um.... I'm not condoning an illegal substance. However, weed helps supposedly for bipolar. Maybe you can have a private party for two. Anyway just respect his wishes and if he does end this relationship it's his loss.

Fred75 · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 7968

coolman · FemaleFirst Guru Joined: 18 Apr 2008 Posts: 7289

jesus, fred. you are so conservative, it's funny. Laughing

Cambridge

honbuns · Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:42 am Post subject:

[quote="Verve"]Um...... Ok... You have to try to give him space. You might need some form of extracurricular activity to help with that. Personally I have issues with phones and emails. I turn the ringer off and sometimes I just look at the caller ID and I can’t be bothered to pick up. Emails ..... I don't respond to it unless it's necessary....There's about 89 in there now. I don't like to be bothered. He might not like to be bothered. But he uses bipolar as an excuse, or is it?? If you want to know his true feelings, Um.... I'm not condoning an illegal substance. However, weed helps supposedly for bipolar. Maybe you can have a private party for two. Anyway just respect his wishes and if he does end this relationship it's his loss.[/quote]

As someone who has suffered depression and tried weed I would not advocate it, relieves the depression for a short while but afterwards it comes back worse than before.

Other than that I think that Cambridge is correct and suggest that counselling is a good thing to try and could well help. It is worth trying to understand depression and bipolar dissorder if you are to carry on in the relationship.

Whatever you decide I wish you luck.

Princess Serena · Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:20 pm Post subject:

Thanks guys very helpful, joint sessions are a good idea. if i can get him to ignore his pride and allow me to help him deal with this (i'm sure he will after a bit of persuasion) i'll keep you posted xx

Cambridge · Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:24 am Post subject:

splinkygb · Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:23 pm Post subject:

It's usually women who are unpredictable like that and not always due to monthly periods.