going crazy over my exgirlfriend!

kevin1 · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 07 Jan 2005 Posts: 7

Help me. I think Im going crazy. I cant do anything. I feel so S*** since my ex finished with me.
Basically I went to a party and fell asleep on a bed with some girls. I told my ex as she was making me jealous and so then she finished with me 5 days before coming over to see me for the summer and then I was going to live with her in her country! Ouch! What an idiot I was! i feel so down since this happened I really loved her with my heart and soul. WE had a long distance relationship for two years and I dont know what happened.We were so in love and had so much fun together. We'd been arguing as couples do and shed been having doubts but I think the party proved the last straw. Since then Ive been with a few women but Im not interested.
All I can do is feel misreable and want my baby back. Its been over nearly 1 and a half years.And Ive felt really terrible ever since. I went travelling to Brazil and then to Sicily to try and forget about her I met some girls but they meant nothing. I even travelled all the way up from Sicily to Lausanne(22 hours by train) to try and see her. But she was away apparently. I sent her emails and a letter about the possibility of going there. I think Ill try phoning her next time! We spoke for the first time in over a year last week and she told me it was definitley finished.
All I want is her in my life. I find life misreable at the moment.
Help I neeed the love of my life back!
Any help on how to win her back greatly appreciated.
My head is wrecked. Wed planned to be together in her country and i was so excited about this.
It was my dream come true to live with the woman I love in the beautiful Alps in Switzerland.
I want to phone her again and really apologise for the party I was at.
But I dont want to cry down the phone like I did last time or play it too cool like another time!
So I dont even know what to say to her other than I am sorry and I love her like crazy!
Help!

lapin · You Go Girl (100+ Posts) Joined: 03 Dec 2004 Posts: 130

kevin36 · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 18 Jan 2005 Posts: 2

Thanks for your help. Greatly appreciated.
I know I have to do all these things but its so hard to put them into practise. My heart feels like its cut in two.
Every day Ive to force myself away from emailing her or phoning her.
And its so hard because I miss her so much.
But I know I have to do thse things.
Thanks for breaking them into clear steps.
Its hard when youre in the middle of it all to make sense.

CARLOSM · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 12 Jan 2005 Posts: 12

Hello Mate

I understand what you are going through, i bet she assumed that you cheated when you didn't, well my situation was exactly the same, i know what you mean by saying that life will not be same without her, and you are right it might not be, you might never be able 2 find the same person again and it will hurt a lot but you have to move on mate, try to forget about things, i know its easy to say and i feel the same when people tell me the same thing, Most important thing is keep yourself busy and have the mentality where it will be nice if she calls or gets in touch but if she doesnt hey i still got my life to live!

kevin1 · Hello. I am New! Talk to Me Joined: 07 Jan 2005 Posts: 7

thanks a million pal. It helps when theres someone else whos been through what I am going through.
Im trying to keep busy with my life. It doesnt make sense the feelings I have after so long but its because I really love her and miss her so much. And because she finished with me partly cos I think she thought i was with someone else. She never said so but I think its pretty clear.
Sometimes I feel like a failure and an idiot for screwing things up.
we were really great together and I felt she was the one for me.
My lifes one day at a time at the moment. Ive just starting back working after a good while as a volunteer in Oxfam. My heads still in a spin with the end of my relationship. I was all set to go to live in Switzerland with her when she pulled the plug on it.
So I feel a bit lost and lonely without her.
Sorry my letter goes on a bit but I need to get this out.
I dont know which way to turn really but Im trying to keep busy.
getting out of bed is such an effort but I do it because its what keeps me going.
Life sucks a bit at the moment.
Im going through the motions sometimes.
My heart is broken big time.
All I want to do is phone her or email.
Ive already emailed her to say nothing happened at the party.
But I dont know if she believes me.
So I dont know what to do.
I wouldnt feel so bad if I did cheat on her at the party but I didnt.
So some help and support would be great to help me back on the road to recovery

Reger